You know what they say about bleeding hearts.
Should’ve walled it in,
stitched it up from the start.
Shouldn’t be such a basket case
carry worry and pain
in every line of your face.
Should’ve walked upright
line your eyes,
keep your smile light.
Lock your heart inside
and if it leaks,
be sure to pin a smile,
on your cheeks.

Some days I wake up from dreams
unsure,
if I am going to grow up to be
a warrior
or worrier.

The pain you cause is
a pinprick
on skin already
Ravaged
by scars and tattoos.

the books always say that
life is a journey,
complicated, messy, a wild ride.
You learn who you are as you’re tested
and self-growth is a valuable lesson.

But I’ve got imposter syndrome.
My face smiles while my heart cries
and my mind spins around
about a thousand times.

I’m changing, that’s for sure,
but self-growth? I’m not convinced.

I’m adapting.
Quick smiles, bright eyes,
conversation flows free
with charm uncorked,
but all the tests have shown
it’s a trick to make me last,
a self-defense to save my heart.

Protect and move on,
I’ve memorized the rules.
And now I’m here again,
content to walk alone.

pull out the knife,
from where you slid it in my side.
Let the blood,
rich and rosy,
drench your hands,
a reminder, a memento
to the times we passed
untainted, warm in the sun.
Avert your eyes,
from my prostrate pain,
out of sight,
you can raise your head,
pretending the role you played
didn’t bring me down.

The empty locket of my heart
Beats useless in my chest.
the gold has faded,
weathered by time and trial.
I could pawn it,
sell it to the highest bidder with
a sickly sweet smile
and the empty promise of tomorrow.
Still I trace it,
mind full of fanciful dreams
of far-off places and a
partner-in-crime.
A romantic at heart
beaten down by hardships of time,
place a ribbon on me now,
blue to match my eyes,
and I’m good as new.

“I have promises to keep,”
whispered sweetly in my ear.
I stretched myself to too thin,
‘til it seemed I would disappear.
Now I’ve got myself to thank
for every step I’ve walked away
towards the sun, far from you
into a promising new day.