In the real world
     I am merely a passerby.
Finding no home to call my own.

I walk the dusty ***** streets
                  So lost and all alone.
Why then should it be this way?
Is this the modern way of life?
   Am I to always suffer loneliness
        A life beset by doubt.

brittle thoughts,
in fragile times.

brittle bones
and stick and stones,

leave marks upon
the  mind.

speak softly,
to the broken heart
speak gently,
to the shattered mind,

lest we leave,
a generation,
of maimed souls
on the road behind.

kindness becomes
the creed ...
each to another,
for under each man's skin,
beats the heart of brother.

and ideology
is just a thought...
hard pressed,
in overdrive...

be not a drone
think now,
outside the hive...

to the individual,
that lives within.

the one with
little, brittle
thoughts,
residing,
hiding,
biding,
to break,
the soul
and ****
the hope.
shatter
the mind,
find the rope,
take the life
and cause
strife.....

so speak softly, talk gently,
create hope, nurture life become unity, in this
and every life.....

or brittle anger wins...
like a vengeful voodoo
master with a swag of
pins...

They say I'm off my hinges,
That I'm spiraling into nothing
And welcoming insanity with open arms.
The voices sing me songs
About love and loss,
Of great battles
Fought at the birth of dawn
And others in back alley ways.
They whisper dark things
Along side the melody of light...
They tell me I'm off my hinges
But who's gonna believe a voice under the bed...?

Thank you

For the body that has defined, gleaming muscles
So lined and lean, like fire and rope all twisted into you

Thank you

For the hair that it constantly slicked back into that perpetual wave
The sideburns that come down to your chin and turn into stubble

Thank you

For the awesome acting
And insane explosions you can walk away from unharmed

Thank you

For the face that could make angels weep
That holds so much beauty that I crumble inside

Thank you

For the accent that takes on a lilt from Britain when you aren't on set
A hint of something else enriching the tone

Thank you

For being 40 something
Because otherwise you wouldn't be safe from me

Thank you

For being Hugh Jackman

"Court, you can't die with him. You have to let go."

But what if I need to?
I can't go to that coffee shop without losing my ability to breathe, as if I was hanging next to you.
I can't  listen to "Chasing Cars" with thinking about lying next to you and forgetting the world and myself.
I see your cousin at school and I see so much of you in him.
I can't go to the movies without wishing our fingers were intertwined.
I see flowers on the side of the road and all I can remember is your parents in all black kneeling at an alter in prayer.
Snow globes, hot chocolate, super hero movies and all the things that reflect us pull me through our timeline and remind me that I can't bear to look at rocks without seeing your name in that stone.
I can't drink coffee without tasting your vanilla kisses.
I can't look at ropes or strings or laces or ribbons without seeing your body hanging from your ceiling.
You used to leave me with smiles and stupid jokes but on October 13th, all you left me with was our history. And now its slowly carving my name into a rock and that's all I've ever known about letting go.

All I have
Is
Everything
I have ever and will ever
Need.
Want not
For want is
As useful as plastic
For sealing in freshness of fruits
You were about to enjoy
Anyway.
Eat up,
Drink slow,
There is more to learn than know
And I
Am so grateful
To be a cell
In this
Whole.