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"Though the mills
Of God grind slowly;
Yet they grind exceeding small;
Though with patience
He stands waiting,
With exactness grinds He all."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

The Mill

The grueling weight
of happenstance,
A millstone for to grind,
It deflates the ego
And shows us
Where we're blind,
It renders flesh a ruin
Obliterates the mind,
We leave our idols desolate
Leave the ties that bind.

Under painful hardship
We release the very things
Which put us in the circumstance
And caused the suffering
We leave behind our craving
For wealth and diamond rings
Everything exalted
All exalted above God...

That means
EVERYTHING

Whatever you adore
On this temporal earth
Whatever gives you pleasure
In which you find worth

These very things will shackle you!
You'll find out they're not free.
They are just the Golden Calf
Of base idolatry.

But the millstone slowly purges
Turning hour by hour
Turning the wheat kernels
Into useful flour.

And so I am refined
As I surely must
Put to naught my flesh
Make powder all my lusts
For I am as ashes

for I am as dust.*


SS  (C) 8/23/2017
I have troubles right now. God is putting me through the mill. I'm now almost completely bedridden. My father is in great pain and suffering. My mom is extremely upset due to all this. The entire family is in turmoil. We are ALL affected.

I'm not saying my problems are any worse than yours. We each have a cross to bear. It's simply how we HANDLE IT that matters! Are we going to get bitter? Or BETTER?!!!

I've been feeling very sorry for myself. And, due to my reaction to the stress, I hurt a friend. I can't tell you how badly this shook me! I (self-righteously) thought I was far beyond this sort of behavior! But the pressure grinds & shows us our idols & faults. I've decided to let go of a LOT of besetting iniquity. And it's HARD.

I haven't been on site much. I just want to pray and read my Bible. Study. This will help me heal. Please forgive my absence. I appreciate your support and understanding. I include all of you in my prayers...


♡ Catherine
my
heart      
        is
a
scattered  
                 puzzle
     game

all              
       the
                   pieces
a
grey                
prison
                 wall

You
take                
              Your
tender    
                        brush
               and
paint
              each
     little
segment                
            bright
colors
I                  
can            
              only
see
after                
You've
                     turned
             them
over

You've
                  fitted
           them
together
with
such

LOVE!

no

ADORATION!

and
when
You're
done

                         fitting

me          

             together

I
see        
       my
heart
is
a

garden

of

YOUR

GLORY!



SøułSurvivør
(C) 8/19/2017
This poem came to me as I was reading tonight. I was thinking of puzzle pieces and how they are gray on the back. But God is always painting a picture of glory on the other side! And He's the only one who can fit the puzzle game together!

I am a slow reader, I realize. Thank you for being patient with me if I have not read a whole lot. I hate to skim poetry. It's like putting a piece of chocolate in your mouth and then spitting it out right away! I like to savor it! Thanks for understanding!

♡ Catherine
<)))<   <)))<  <)))< <)))<

<)))<  >(((>  <)))<  <)))<

<)))<  <)))<  <)))<  <)))<

being
different
means
going
against
the school
being
free to
think
alone
though
you're
thought an
oddball fool
at least
your mind
isn't set
in stone!

for who is
foolish but
the ones
who follow
blindly
with the tide
for their end
has e'r begun
to withdraw
to run & hide

in the crowd
they are not seen
in the shelter
of conformist streams
but who of import
has ever been
who did not
stand out like a beam?

be a lighthouse!
not a candle
almost put out
and guttering
there is nothing
you can't handle

God will give you

*roots & wings!
by Charles Wesley
(1707-1788)

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.

By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

~ Charles Wesley
~~~

"Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven."
~ Matthew 6:10

"Amen. Come, Lord Jesus."
~ Revelation 22:20b

"Come, house of Jacob,
and let us walk in the light of the LORD."
~ Isaiah 2:5

~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dmO8UPlWoo
... is going from bad to worse -
and now
THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN BETTER!


[15W]
SøułSurvivør
(C) 8/10/2017
It is a truism that the Christian Life is all upside down. What seem to be blessings are actually curses, and extraordinarily hard times are the most blessed.

When you bare up under extremely adverse conditions with grace, it is ONLY due to Jesus's Grace. Prayers get answered, but not ALWAYS for yourself.

My father is giving up. He doesn't want to fight anymore. I can't say I blame him. Anyone who knows my situation knows that my father is dying. I'm going to say it just like that because that is the reality. I'm very fortunate to have had my dad this long. He's 93 years old.

But when he goes there's a problem. I may not have a place to stay. I may have to go into a group home due to my disabilities. I knew this was coming for many years, also. But the reality of it is now hitting me. I won't be able to stay with my beloved mother. We will have to sell the house in order to afford to live anywhere. The upkeep on the house is just simply too expensive for even both my mother and I. Taxes alone in the area where I live are exorbitant. I live by the University of Arizona and property here is at a premium. So this house will not be where I'm living ever again. It's the house I grew up in, and I've called home since 1965.

I have more going on,  but I won't burden you with it. I just want to make this point. For all the things happening in my life which are adversities, I am more peaceful and joyful than at almost any other time in my life. Where does this come from?

JESUS.

HE IS keeping and sustaining me! Thank you all for bearing with me during the time of my absence. I want to be with my father as much as possible. And, obviously, I have many other things to do. I appreciate your understanding also that my phone is in disrepair. I can't afford to fix it at this point. But as soon as I am able I will be back out on the site with bells on!

♡♡♡ LOVE YOU ALL! ♡♡♡
~~○♢○~~

there was once
a girl unnamed
ever doubted
ever shamed

untamed fire
high & wild
she was a haunted
white-hot child

a wayward waif
she had no guide
no way to hold
her rage inside

"you're a ***** little girl,
watch me as I wreck your world!"

bursting brain
as well as bubble
he brought her
a world of trouble
now unloved
unlovable


charcoal lily
ragged ****
neglected garden
a bad seed
never knowing
her great need

a prickly thistle
tried to hide
all the pain
she held inside

chorus

for years she went on
in this state
unloved, unwise
and reprobate
no turning back
it was too late

wild parties
dating thugs
drinking *****
doing drugs

chorus

But deep inside
the little-girl-lost
a seed of faith
grew at last
she grabbed a hold
and held on fast

then, when things
were at their worst
she began
to hunger ~ thirst!
because her God
had loved
her first!

"I've loved you, child.
I had a plan
long before the world began.

Please do not be sad or blue,
this destiny included YOU

you are SO important
to My story
you will bring Me such great
GLORY!

here below
in heav'n above
I'll show you how much


♡♡ YOU ARE LOVED ♡♡


the woman changed
she was set free

who's the woman?

she is

ME


SøułSurvivør
(C) 8/16/2017
I know I've been gone a while.
My phone has been giving me grief,
and I needed to use it for a telephone
prayer line I have with some friends.
But it's time I got back on site.

If you only KNEW how MUCH God loves you! How much *I* love you! You're in my prayers daily!

I'm going to revise my site a bit.
Only uplifting poetry about God and His creation will be featured here. I love ALL my followers, but i want to dedicate this site to JESUS. Thanks for understanding.

♡ Catherine

P.S. it's 3:10am, so please forgive any typos! Lol!
♡  
  ○¡○
○¡○            
○¡○


nectar of the heart
draws the lover as a honeybee
he nestles happily


SøułSurvivør
(C) 7/23/2017
1:25am

Goodnight!

Love you all!
Thirteen roses in a row
Red rain falls,
Don't you know
Down the window
Pain it goes
In the gutters
Through the nose
Where's the thunder
When it flows...?

(Chorus)
Wrapped around
The gauze that's stained
What difference snow?
The same as pain
When it melts
It's just rain.


Withered flowers.
Falling leaves.
It's a howling in the eaves
It's the cult the
Maimed believe
No one cares.
No one grieves.
Cover up.
Long jeans & sleeves.

Razors are a water slide
On track like
A carny ride
Over arms & over thighs
Release all
The pain inside

(Chorus)

It's an ocean
Where we sail
A coin that can be
Heads or tails
A lover's letter,
Or junk mail
A piece of garbage.
Holy grail.

(Chorus)


SøułSurvivør
(C) 7/23/2017
This song I REALLY want to release. Cutting is a terrible epidemic in our young people. It has almost replaced street drugs as the scourge of youth...
Does it hurt?
What?
Dying

Does it hurt
What?
Writing

Does it hurt
What?
Memories

Does it hurt
What?
Running

Does it hurt
What?
Lying

Does it hurt
What?
Numbing

Does it hurt
What?
Crying

Does it hurt
What?
Silence

Did it hurt
What?
Loving
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