I wasn't there when you died.
Though its clear now that it was your time
You were 14 and had dementia, half deaf, and half blind.
Not to mention the arthritis.
Still doesn't hurt any less

I still feel your soft black and white fur
The feeling when you blessed us with a kiss
Your chocolate brown eyes

When you were a puppy
I remember you losing your teeth
Except you didn't have a tooth fairy

I remember you climbing onto the widow seat
I still have that picture.
No idea how you even got up there.

One week before Fudge died,
It was a normal friday for me
I went to work, had a great day.
I came home and wondered where you were.
My mom had put you down and taken Fudge to the vet hospital
December 9th, 2016
I didn't realize that morning was the last time I would see you.

December
2 pm
We drive up to the building
It seems solemn now
We came to see you for the final time

December 15th
2:05 pm
We gather our courage to get out of the car
I open the door
Its heavy

December 15th, 2016
2:10 pm
We're ushered into the room where you are
You try to get up to reassure us
We know you're in pain

Thursday, December 15th, 2016
2:11-2:16
I'm holding you now
I have your favorite stuffed animal

Thursday, December Fifteenth, 2016
At 2:20 pm
The vet tells us to tell him that you are a good boy
"You're the best dog I could have ever had, Fudge. I'll love you forever."

On Thursday, December Fifteenth, Twenty sixteen.
At 2:24 P.M.
You died in my arms.
The happiness and relief you had in your eyes.
You were in so much pain.
I love you. Forever

Within the atmosphere there is a limit,
How high can you fly?
No amount of Magick can keep us apart.

A parting of ways,
Remembering our final days,
I'll find my way back to you.

I know you need to heal,
Discover your true self,
Then return back to me.

By my words of binding,
I promise this to you,
Heed my words,
They are true,
I'll find my way back to you.

We'll be different then,
Hopefully on a plane of Zen,
To you I Promise,
We'll meet each other then.

I can't say it will be easy.
But with time,
It wont be hard.

Heal,
Then come back to me,
A brand new you,
You will be.

I will wait,
However long it may be,
But we will be forever,

I promise our paths will meet again,
They say its a small world,
But we carry each other's heart,
How inevitable it will be.

Heed this promise,
A Binding by me,
We will be in each other's arms soon enough,
Forever we will be.

I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
I Don't mean to be...
Its just how I am,

I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
It's ok,
I hate it too,

I'm sorry I'm so difficult,
With everything I do

My love
An old friend
Our dance to the tune of
The happiness of year's end

Silvery pale hair
Haunting grin
Dark stare
Glowing ethereal skin

My gorgeous counterpart
You arrive, nocturnal
You stop the beating of my heart
Your stare is eternal

Gathered in your breath
Whisper to the sweet sounds of Death.

I love myself, but, I hate myself.
I am as beautiful as an abandoned building.
I am where the forgotten things lie.

I love myself but I hate myself.
I am the eternity that is the universe.
The thoughts inside will not let me die.

I love myself but I hate myself
My brain holds an entire universe
That I use to escape this one.

I love myself but I hate myself,
I had a universe in my hands.
I put mine away for a little while but I couldn't hold onto you.

I hate myself.
My universe that I had created as my salvation wanes.
Why I wish I knew...

The tears come to my eyes but they just won't fall...