you'd run if you could
and smile like you should.
i wag my tail and roar
in hopes to make you soar,
but your legs don't work
and those arms are no better.

you can't walk but ****, you have love
but love is never enough.
a heart as large as the seas,
body crippled with a tragic disease.
i'll scream till you leave
anything to make you believe.

she smiles and looks away,
looking to give you a brighter day.
hope is all she has left
but fear has crept and made its home
in a heart that should be left alone.
i see the spark in her eyes
and toot away in my trail of lies.

every day i think about my funeral
and think i'll be missed.
who knows if it's true
for i am only a dog
slender, soft and sweet,
with a heart as big as a peach.
this isn't enough.
i'm never enough.

i just wanted to see you smile
but you left me feeling angry and vile.
i hope you never pet me again
and find me in my cage
battered and dead.

what upsets me the most
is that if i died
she would not miss me as much
as i do with her.

she would have a boyfriend to run to,
a family to hold,
friends to support,
an education to enjoy,
life to behold.

all the things,
that now mourn her.

i started this book,
asking for pain,
not knowing what was in store.

i have felt hell ten times over
doing what i can, to numb the pain.
i have failed you.
i have cried in a crowded room,
and now cannot
shed a single tear within my own body.

see winter in your eyes
such beauty and purity in a holy body

but i was the fire you could never hold
left to crash and burn
in the rooms we occupied,
the space we filled.

so is this the end?
maybe, yes, no.

i will never know.
no yes, i know.

she is what dictates this pen.
she is who decides if this is the beginning or end.

she still exists,
i see her on this page.
i feel her in my eyes.
i see her glow at night.

she is my life

she is my love

she IS life

there is no Restart with Her.
there is no button to push,
no story to rewrite,
only tears to cry,
and hugs to hold.

two hearts become one forever more
one stops and so does the other.
every time i speak, you will hear her voice.
every breath i take, i now take for her.
and at night, she is the Mother Nature
to my rainfall of tears.

i wish i could have saved you.
i wish i took the impact.
i wish i took the blame.
i wish you were a wish i never wished.
just a thought,
a speck,
another particle in life.

i'd never been to a funeral.
why was yours my first?

still find myself trying to rewrite things that already happened

you were the apple i always sought but could never hold
forbidden, forbidden fruit,
i will forever feign and fight
to see the brighter side.