You must always
Love yourself
More
Than you are willing
To put up with ****
From someone who is supposed to love you
Because power
And control
Isn't love
It's ownership

We told each other everything
Now you tell her
And I tell no-one

A caterpillar waits inside her cocoon
Patient
Holding onto the promise of a more beautiful future
A transformation.
Meanwhile
Outside
Life moves forward.
Leaves swirl around and around
Daylight dances on the face of her lover
As he loves another.
Still she waits
Alone
Forgotten
Trapped in the walls she built herself.
Protected in the past
All for a more beautiful future.

You ran from my tears
Like a flood
When all I wanted
Was for you
To dive in
Headfirst

Funny how the pulse of your world
The heartbeat
Could thrive
Unknowing
I pierced my own heart for you
Willing to bleed myself dry
Every last drop
Your ignorance
I watch myself
Starving
Gasping for air never meant for me
Drawing otherwise forgotten breaths
No one will find you here

It suddenly dawns on me
In the darkness
That I'm not convinced
You actually care about me at all

And if I forgot to stamp the footprint of me
Constantly
In your mind
You'd let the snow build
And it would be like I'd never been there
At all

Each night I wake
And think of you
While you lay
Dreaming of her

Jealousy is the curse
Of believing that
Something inside you
Is missing

It is the curse
Of self doubt
Irrelevance
Dismissal

It is the curse
Of being made to feel
That you are not enough

And it is the curse
Of being so easily
Replaced

Pay no mind to the ones
Who sit in their offices
And make money
From campaigns built on insecurity
Conformity
And unattainable standards

Pity them instead
For through their corporate lenses
They see only green
When in fact
There is an entire rainbow

In a world
Filled with promises
Of unattainable beauty
The best rebellion
Is to love yourself

My mind is a wild place
Untamed and unkempt
A battlefield
Where weeds and flowers
Intertwine
Fighting for the last glimpse of light
Before the sky clouds over
And darkness falls

Like a mantra I repeat
He's not good enough for you anyway
Like it will heal the pain
From the fact that you don't want me

Before, two flames
Lighting the dark
Warm
Comforting
Safe.
Oblivious to the danger, they join
Love their kindling.
Fire rages
Destruction
Chaos
Ashes fall.
After
Silence
Nothing left to burn, no love left for kindling
Two flames
Extinguished.

My thoughts trickle from the inwards out
They form rivers  
That cannot be contained
Like a tsunami they come crashing
I am a force
And I can not be reckoned with  
Come too close
And you will drown in me

To waste a mind
As brilliant as mine
On thoughts of you
Should be criminal

We long for softness in others
Like an addiction
We crave their secrets
Their truths
Like a one way mirror
We yearn to see them
But only while we remain hidden

                        - Vulnerability is courage

I flew across the ocean
To make myself forget
The image of you and her
And yet here I am
Alone
And all I see in the ocean's waves
Is you

Empty words are just that
Empty

How to find the balance
Between believing you are loved
And yet
Never relying on others

- you must make yourself whole

What if
Instead of catching you
I let you fall from the cliff
Would you crash
Or would you grow wings
Just in time
And if so
Would you soar away
Or would you use them
To fly back to me