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Apr 7 · 132
Jealousy
Ecstabell Apr 7
Jealousy is the curse
Of believing that
Something inside you
Is missing

It is the curse
Of self doubt
Irrelevance
Dismissal

It is the curse
Of being made to feel
That you are not enough

And it is the curse
Of being so easily
Replaced
Apr 7 · 79
Drunk pain
Ecstabell Apr 7
Funny how the pulse of your world
The heartbeat
Could thrive
Unknowing
I pierced my own heart for you
Willing to bleed myself dry
Every last drop
Your ignorance
I watch myself
Starving
Gasping for air never meant for me
Drawing otherwise forgotten breaths
No one will find you here
Apr 7 · 37
Whole
Ecstabell Apr 7
How to find the balance
Between believing you are loved
And yet
Never relying on others

- you must make yourself whole
Mar 18 · 618
Pyromaniac
Ecstabell Mar 18
You will feel my fire
See the raging blaze
As it burns your eyes
But still
Knowingly
Willingly
You'll walk into the flames
Consumed
You must be a fool
To think
Any man could survive me
Mar 18 · 49
Tsunami
Ecstabell Mar 18
My thoughts trickle from the inwards out
They form rivers  
That cannot be contained
Like a tsunami they come crashing
I am a force
And I can not be reckoned with  
Come too close
And you will drown in me
Mar 18 · 59
Money is blind
Ecstabell Mar 18
Pay no mind to the ones
Who sit in their offices
And make money
From campaigns built on insecurity
Conformity
And unattainable standards

Pity them instead
For through their corporate lenses
They see only green
When in fact
There is an entire rainbow
Mar 18 · 438
Indifference
Ecstabell Mar 18
It suddenly dawns on me
In the darkness
That I'm not convinced
You actually care about me at all

And if I forgot to stamp the footprint of me
Constantly
In your mind
You'd let the snow build
And it would be like I'd never been there
At all
Mar 18 · 62
Pictures do lie
Ecstabell Mar 18
In a world
Filled with promises
Of unattainable beauty
The best rebellion
Is to love yourself
Mar 18 · 44
Another
Ecstabell Mar 18
We told each other everything
Now you tell her
And I tell no-one
Dec 2018 · 211
Seasons
Ecstabell Dec 2018
My mind is a wild place
Untamed and unkempt
A battlefield
Where weeds and flowers
Intertwine
Fighting for the last glimpse of light
Before the sky clouds over
And darkness falls
Dec 2018 · 91
50/50
Ecstabell Dec 2018
You must always
Love yourself
More
Than you are willing
To put up with ****
From someone who is supposed to love you
Because power
And control
Isn't love
It's ownership
Dec 2018 · 104
Disengagement
Ecstabell Dec 2018
You ran from my tears
Like a flood
When all I wanted
Was for you
To dive in
Headfirst
Dec 2018 · 67
Insomniac
Ecstabell Dec 2018
Each night I wake
And think of you
While you lay
Dreaming of her
Aug 2018 · 1.2k
Butterfly
Ecstabell Aug 2018
A caterpillar waits inside her cocoon
Patient
Holding onto the promise of a more beautiful future
A transformation.
Meanwhile
Outside
Life moves forward.
Leaves swirl around and around
Daylight dances on the face of her lover
As he loves another.
Still she waits
Alone
Forgotten
Trapped in the walls she built herself.
Protected in the past
All for a more beautiful future.
Aug 2018 · 192
The Aftermath
Ecstabell Aug 2018
Before, two flames
Lighting the dark
Warm
Comforting
Safe.
Oblivious to the danger, they join
Love their kindling.
Fire rages
Destruction
Chaos
Ashes fall.
After
Silence
Nothing left to burn, no love left for kindling
Two flames
Extinguished.

— The End —