we watched the sunset  
over the castle on the hill

Crowd's clapping
People and children laughing
as if they were savages celebrating
sacrifice for the old gods
Only I remain silent, uninterested
without shape, without attitude
as a newborn
I watch them, lost
Lost as a wanderer
I cannot rest
nor breathe
They all seem to be fullfiled
with redundance
Only I am lost
Lost as a wanderer

Put me out of misery
Empty, my foolish heart
I fell like a lunatic
Poeple of this world are
enlightened by stars and moolight
Only me, darkened by sun
Only I, remain silent
in the darkness
desolate as a desert
abandoned and driven

I can bear that pain
I can let go that anchor
and finally set her free
'cause she listens
if you whisper gently

the very essence of her
will guide me;
only when
my ears are opened
*humbly

i realize i am in the beginning stages
of oldtimers' disease
when I have to **** every half hour
and the toilet bowl is mysteriously empty,
every time?
I have checked out the flush valve-check;
the fill valve, too-check;
the handle
the seat,
the bolts on the floor-no problem;
when in a burst of enlightenment
I remembered....
I have not filled Missy's ( my gorgeous well balanced love of my life Labrador)'s
water bowl in two days.

the space where you lay
has been too frightfully empty lately

Sins are often forgotten.
Brain molecules are overwritten,
cell pathways erased,
as good conquers evil.
The righteous actions that ignite enlightenment
and solace for the sins we can't remember
are also eventually forgotten,
because evil also devours virtue
in what priests and monks refer to
as an ancient and everlasting battle.

Some people live out their lives in solitude.
We see them in quiet jobs,
alone in libraries and coffee shops.
They patiently wait out the battle
for the day when the struggle ends
and they finally know tranquility

Others choose action,
to play their roles as instruments, weapons,
sometimes for the forces of good
and sometimes for the forces of evil.
I’ve chosen to add my flavor of mayhem to the world,
inspired in forgotten nightmares
and during quiet car rides home
after the job has drained the last drops
of energy and self-respect.

Without the battle
humanity certainly would be boring.
Unfortunately for all of us
nothing is quite so dull
as serenity.

I give my lungs,
to a one-eyed machine,
at the intersection of law and order,
and dividing the atom,
on which it stands,
strong and masculine,
naked and invisible,
with enough gravity to make us all fall.

*Amen.