forgive me.

for every drop of poison i spit,
for every glare i impale you with,

forgive me.

for every time i mercilessly tear you down,
for every time i force upon your face a frown,

forgive me.

for each time i made you think, "we'd be better off without her."
for each time you wanted to say, "could you be any more sinister?"

forgive me.

for every single tear i cry as i write this,
for every stab in my throat as i hold the sobs in,

forgive me.

I am not here
Not as I
Can be present
Through the invisible highways
That transmit my ramblings
To where they finally rest
I don't know
But
If you find them
Then I told you so

I move my vocal chords in the motions necessary to forgive you.

i am spinning in a sea of my thoughts,
reaching for someone to
help me,
save me,
but no one does,
and i drown.