I dig my nails in and it feels good.
I wish you would hit me harder sometimes
when we’re joking around, naked,
I deserve it.

You bruise me but you don’t mean it.
It’s not your fault you’re taller than me.
The boys before you, they meant it.
They tried their best.

Has anyone broken your heart?
A boy once got a girl pregnant, she wasn’t me.
And another one.
Still not me.

I don’t want babies.
I don’t want to draw dole, smoke draw,
earn three hundred a week and blow it all
in the bookies.

I haven’t seen my Mam in a month now.
My brother might be taller again. I miss
the sea and my golden retriever.
I wish you would pretend to choke me for longer.

Sometimes I don’t want to breathe.
I think you’re just proof that home does not own me.
You don’t know me.
I can be arrogant as a priest.

I lie beside him and I'm tiny,
weak and helpless, but he
holds me sleeping, strokes
my hair. I
forget with one quick
movement he could **** me.

Two hundred pounds, he lifts me.
Eats twice as much as I do,
plays guitar I
play ukulele. Giant,
how do I know that you
won't break me? I am wary.

Shatter me if you will, take my body
it's no use to me anymore
it's too unholy. Just leave my heart
alone it's
been overused and battered,
bruised and I can't
cry on my own again.

I wonder, the last time I saw you,
did I tell you I loved you then?
Because I don't think I ever realized
that I'd never see you again.