I stood in the February snow
the freezing sleet
no boots
no coat
Steam wafting off my fury

My father read the lie
two hundred yards away
and walking toward me

So I owned it
told it
With a snarl
Without a flinch
Both knowing

I held my ground before him
and wore the red of his hand
on my face for a week

small hands
like small minds
can never grasp great things

we live in shadow-
lands, our minds
moss avenues,
cradled like a child,

i wonder where the air
draws her breath,
hair wind-blown with gazing
at a far-flowing sea,

eyes duskier than a rose
in the unsettled night,

whisper me your dreams
that i may find you again
boy of love,

whisper me something sweet
for the hate in this
world tears me apart,

the quiet night
scatters the seeds
of the dark,

scatters us to this
north wind
that plays in the
dry-grass ruins
of my heart,

dream of a white
rose, lying near
me on this
windy path,
that leads to the
sea, damp
with wet sand,

i thought i'd
see you, but
all i saw were
the shadow-
lands.

The world is a heavy burden
a place that builds you up
with broken bits of brick,
rage, and pain.

The wind carries the names
of those who are to silent
to ever really blame me
for all that we lost.

I rush to write this
memory of truth I found
before it slips my grip
and drips down into
the crypt that carried the few
who left me behind to brood.

I am angry and sad
to see my granddad
discarded at a nursing home.
A diabetic left to die alone
not because he was not loved
but because we all had lives to live.
I forgive all of them
but deny myself that mercy.
On the last day he was alive
he said goodbye
in his own way.
When I said “I loved him”
he weakly replied “thank you.”
Though it was not his intent to,
he made me I feel like I had failed him.
My familial affections
must have seemed like rain
on the desert wind,
brief and rare.
I left him there
and he died.
Frequently,
I wake day or night
with tears in my eye

I am angry and sad
that I saw my grandma wither,
looking like
some small sickly goblin
at the end of her life
because her loved ones
would not let her
let herself die.
They forced her to eat
when she could not leave
that bed where she slept.
While death crept
I kept to myself
to lazy and afraid
to deal with the tension
of arguing with her
about my lack of
her religion.
So, she died
and my anger
simmered inside
as the tears flowed
outside.

I am angry and sad
that I treated my brother so bad.
I was struggling at nineteen
and did not want to see
the mother who hurt me.
So, I avoided him
left him trapped
alone with an abusive
patriarch
to break his heart
and his pain broke mine.
Though he has forgiven me
I cannot let go so easily
and my rage keeps boiling.

I am angry and sad,
made to feel bad,
left seething mad
because I saw
living loved ones
exit my life
beyond the stage lights.
It was their right
but it feels like
their leaving
was saying
that I was not good enough
to keep the ones I loved
in my life.
Black haired girl
left for the Army.
Black haired girl
left our online friendship.
Blond girl
left for her original lover.
One friend gone
then time takes another.
Brown haired girl
moved on to someone better.
How could I not,
I had to let her.
Here my heart breaks again
thought I made a beautiful friend
but it is her turn to leave.

In being left again
I turn my pain and rage within
to disintegrate the one I hate.
I despise those mirror eyes
whom are not good enough
to keep the ones I love.
I long for the day
gray hairs, false teeth,
and wrinkles take me
to a place where no one
can ever leave me again.

It's been so long
since a song
could make me cry.
my eyes were so dry,
For what feels like a long time.
My heart beats so fast
as this song escalates
and I hear it crash
It pulls me backwards
until I remember pain,
then twists me around
and reminds me
of when I could touch your face.

the sun breaks through
another night and I have dreamt of you
now I'm not so sure--

of the shape of your face, your voice
a heartbeat underwater
your body

a frankenstein
stitched loosely with memories
of closeness

when the brain unclenches
its invisible fist
slowly, in defeat

all I have is my imagination
and a better girl
is fixing you now

The sun breaks through
and this time last year
I was in love with you

Trump went to China
Looking for Taiwan
The Chinese said you'd better
decide which side you're on
Trump said you Chinks
all look the same to me
the Chinese rolled their eyes
and pointed towards the sea
So Trump got on his horse
and headed for the shore
then turned around and said,
"and one thing more,
I will build a Greater Wall
then the one I saw today!"
The Chinese just shook their heads
as he headed for Taipei

Hope
Rises
Like
A
Phoenix
From
  The
Ashes
Of
Shattered
Dreams