To Drummond*

And now, Carlos?
I had friends, I had family,
I had peace and love.
I just didn't have time
to remember all.

And now, Carlos?
I was son, I was grandson,
I was husband and father.
I just wasn't boy,
boy to live unhappy.

And now, Carlos?
I learnt to speak, I learnt to rhyme,
I learnt to grow up and see the world change.
I just didn't learn to live
as everybody expected to see.

And now, Carlos?
I was born in Bahia, I was born in Brazil,
I was born in America and in the world.
I just wasn't born in the universe
(and this has no meaning).

And now, Carlos?
I'm old, I'm grizzled,
I'm useless and I'm a poet.
I'm just not a child,
because I disobeyed the heart.

I look up, to the small little lights,
That are only seen at night.
I know beyond them, a new world awaits,
Past the galaxies, into heaven's golden gates.

There, there is no pain, no fear.
I wish it would be close, be near.
No hurt and no doubts,
But no way, I'll ever get out.

Not a prison, such as this world,
For I'm only a small girl.
But I can understand, I can see,
Where one day, I will be.

Your love
So beautiful
I feel so warm in between your thighs
Your deep breaths taking over my life
This is what I have longed for
Long phone calls, 4AM texts and writing poetry as your honor
You're like hip hop
My heart never stops racing in your presence, that's how powerful your love is
I love you

She cries at night as she tries to sleep                     c. 6.13.14 J.Ray
A victim of the life she tries to keep
She lives her life inside her own mind
She looks for the things she cannot find
Trapped inside, she just lost her way
She is someone new each and every day
Takes meds today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says that she’s Borderline
Silence the quiet whispers and deny all your pain
The voices in your head have all come back again
The doctors and the nurses say that you’re insane
We can make her better they always seem to claim
But we know better ‘cause they’re the one to blame
Sleeping so well now and the time sure flies
When your mind goes away a part of me dies
Nothing but finest pills the nurses will bring
Effects can **** you but you won’t feel a thing
She’s here today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says she’s just Borderline

In the garden of Humanity
Plant more bonhomie
Love will blossom
The landscape will change
Fragrance and love all around
Colors will blend, celebrating all
The celestial space will rejoice
As happiness knows no bounds

Do I inspire or am I dire?
Amusing or just boring.
Oh humph you say and turn away
Good gracius, are you snoring?
I really thought that you would have
a little understanding-but all you say is go away
and don't be so demanding!
If that's the case old funny face,
there will be no nights of passion,
until your churlish ways improve
in a politer fashion!

Once again i dare to see a dream
that dream with the door to heaven
where i can see the gods within me
suddenly i close my eyes and
realize the fact that
i am an ordinary man with burden
walking in a real world
who just dare to dream of heaven

So many waves touches my heart
this heart where god lives
i feel glad for what i have coz
i know as much as wave of sorrows
i will get,
i will turn it into happiness
god plz give me power to hold it
i want to dream of heaven
and god plz be within me....