Doing the same thing twice
and expecting a different result
Some call it courage
others, foolishness

Why do we believe we’ll emerge new
Same script, same actors, same bait
But a new will, a new mind—
suddenly making all the right calls?

Will we stare into what once blinded us
fight what numbed us—or
shake off what sticks,
(still) fall into the same holes?

Perhaps when nature softens-
A degree warmer (against blitzing wind)
A letter that arrives (right before desperation)
A word that didn’t drop (as the last straw)

You’ll find a way again
to give like how you’ve self-taught—
remembering that forehead kiss
as a trace of being loved.

Or perhaps the truest thing  
is how courage and foolishness
are two sides of the same leaf,
lit by a different light.

I want to show you what I see
Things I captured on film,
trivial and incomplete.
So I show nothing, to no one.

I want to tell you how I feel
Those stuff on my mind,
overflows like a summer stream
I say too much, followed by too little.

I want to explain where I’ve been
Descriptions dense, delicate
The speaker too immersed
To realize the listener left out.

I want you to know what I am
Then you ask me, “So,
what you think you really are?”
I am only guessing-
As I’ve never seen me
Like how you see me, night and day.

I spent an awful lot of time by myself.
As i wait
Its a lot of time to sit inside this head.
As I wait
For you to hear the screams I'm screaming.
As I wait

she disappeared into the shadows of the night,
skimming through the uproarious parties
like stone across the lake
until she sunk into
the gruesome arms
of another man
behind my sleeping back.

and there he was, pounding away
like some big dumb animal
at something I held sacred
as if bonds were meant to be broken
and boundaries were made permeable

and there she was,
taking it,
loving it,
enjoying it,
doing it to spite me
and knowing it would hurt.

and there I was, the last to know
in the dark circles of whispering
secrecy

it’s the all-too-familiar cycle
of passion and appetite;

swallowed by the underbelly of lust and
tormented by the foretaste of my presence

I can’t blame them,
I can’t blame myself,
it’s only nature
taking
its course.

and I can’t say this is written
about anyone specifically,

when it happened

far too many times.

If you have to lie, then deep inside,
You already know the truth you hide.
The words you twist, the stories bend,
Can never heal, can never mend.

A shadow creeps with every tale,
A weight that grows with every veil.
The truth, once bright, is lost in gray,
Each step you take leads you away.

You know you’re wrong with every breath,
Each word you speak, a quiet death.
If truth is gone, then so are we-
A bond can’t live on false debris.

If you must lie to make it through,
Then face the truth: it’s not worth you.

I have loved you
From the moment our eyes
Met across the crowded street
On that scorching summer day

And though summer
Soon came to a bitter end
I have loved you through
Every season ever since

And I guess I always will