Somehow, down through the centuries,
Man discerned it was best to hide.
Conceal their grief and likewise love,
And hoard it all inside.

Emotions we should so easily share,
We choose to temper instead.
And so many things that we want to say,
We just let go...unsaid.

"Worthless waste of space!"
"You thief of my fresh air!"
Useless to the entire world.
Drop dead! No one will care!

Can you feel the hatred baby?
The heated ache inside?
The pulse that beats incessantly?
The disgust I do not hide?

A soul that's non-existent.
No conscience left inside.
If not for jail time, baby,
I'd **** you for my pride!

Imagine an enduring torture,
And the pain that will ensue,
Cause Karma's got a lovely way,
Of catching right up with you.

One day, certain, this world I shall leave.
And left behind will be some who grieve.

And to the ones who shed their tears,
Who graced me with so many years,

I say to you, find peace with my rest,
Please carry on;  live life at its' best.

For I return to where I was received,
Renewed forever, because I believed.

And though we may be parted my friend,
And the world alone you have to attend,

Find hope in knowing that even though we're apart,
We will meet again and I still live in your heart.

I have friends with whom I share,
great poetry and verse.
And friends I visit taverns with,
to drink with and to curse.

And friends with who I share a passion,
for music and for art.
And also those, just like me,
kindred spirits of the heart.

Some, I will call, when I am down,
and weary from lifes' run.
Some, I long to just gift a smile,
before every day is done.

Some, who seem to need my presence ,
to heal such a simple pain,
Some whose smiles touch my soul,
and shelter me from rain.

Some who like the same wine as me,
some coffee and some books.
Some who care little of possessions,
some who are all into looks.

There are some with whom I share a movie,
some I respect their great advice.
There are some who are simply pure genius,
and others; .... not quite so wise.

From professions, they all do differ,
no occupation is the same.
Most of them have no mutual liking,
but two...they share a name.

No. Each friend, has naught the others',
unique fortune, skills, or fame.
But I endear each to their own,
and treasure them all - the same.

I love to read any poem of yours,
For every time I do..
I am a part of something bigger,
Just knowing part of you.

At times I can get so inspired,
By even a simple theme.
Other times I just close my eyes,
And allow myself to dream.

And it makes not a difference,
The mood I am in that day.
Your message always gets to me,
And takes me right away.

To a place where everything is ok,
If even for just a short while.
And I can take a few deep breaths,
Wipe away my tears and... smile.

So I need to say thank you,
Even if I have said before..
For sharing with me your talent,
And making me long for so much more.

I have seen pictures of beautiful places,
They are just a taste.
Reminding me of how little I've done.
Is my life a waste?

I want to see the geysers,
In Yellowstone National Park.
And walk along the Eastern Shore,
With you after it gets dark.

And I know there is a snowboard,
That somewhere bears my name,
And I have always wanted to go,
To an NFL football game.

I hear that Ireland is beautiful,
What a sight to see.
And I know there is a rustic place.
Where I can write poetry.

I would like to go see Mardi Gras,
And maybe earn a bead or two.
Listen to a great acoustic band,
And sing a line or two.

Hop aboard an airplane
Grab the window seat.
Just drive to a distant city,
To see just who I'd meet.

Swim naked in the ocean,
Surf my way back in.
Make love really crazily,
And then do it again.

Fall in love with the right one,
Find a true soul-mate,
I wish I could do it all right now,
I don't want to wait.

What would I do without you!
Well I certainly couldn't be ME!
"Coffee, you've never let me down."
And you taste so much better than tea!

I do not like the world around me,
The filth and ***** places,
The lying selfish faces,
The weakness satan preys on,
All beauty now is all gone,
And like the world, I now smell,
Of the tomb in which we dwell,
With no will to perservere,
Nor rememberance of a tear,
Walking 'round about in throng,
Singing all the same sad song,
Of all we've lost or never had,
And of the good that turned to bad.
Until this becomes our norm again.
Forgetting better days have been.
I do not like the world around me,
The filth and ***** places,
The lying selfish faces,
The weakness satan preys on,
All beauty now is all gone,
And like the world, I now smell,
Of the tomb in which we dwell,
With no will to perservere,
Nor rememberance of a tear,
Walking 'round about in throng,
Singing all the same sad song,
Of all we've lost or never had,
And of the good that turned to bad.
Until this becomes our norm again.
Forgetting better days have been.
I do not like the world around me,
The filth and ***** places,
The lying selfish faces,
The weakness satan preys on,
All beauty now is all gone,
And like the world, I now smell,
Of the tomb in which we dwell,
With no will to perservere,
Nor rememberance of a tear,
Walking 'round about in throng,
Singing all the same sad song,
Of all we've lost or never had,
And of the good that turned to bad.
Until this becomes our norm again.
Forgetting better days have been.  You get the picture......

I know that while I sleep tonight
So many of you may die
A heaviness will tuck you in
Like a sheet across the sky
And together you will cower
In every corner you can find
Heart beats right in sync with
The roaring of your mind
Unrelenting punishment
From unrelenting rain
And just when you think it's over
It will return again.
With a wind that rips your soul away
As pure hell invades your sky,
Then hopelessness will take over
As your sons and daughters cry.
How sickening it is to know
That I must sleep here just the same
While you wage a war for life
Against a storm who earned a name.

every thing is     a lie     a precipated deception
the promises are broken                  before they are made
                                                           the kisses             exchanged    to fool the receiver
The stories  shared
are to
offer false
                                                                       normalcy

The stool in the corner       is to reach the pills
                                           hidden on top of the fridge

                      the locked glove compartment  to keep items out of kids' reach

the cell pocketed to hide the contacts
                                                                                  The eye drops to hide the act
The drill in the bathroom
to unscrew another sealed box
                                                                the bills go to another address

                    there is no rhyme           no reason to
a drug addict's behavior
they                           do                           not                   follow                         rules!
                 everything
they

say is

                                                                         a lie

       So what of a plea for help?

1.   Chew 3 pieces of Grape Hubba Bubba at the same time.

2.   Wash your car in the rain in your bathing suit.

3.   Walk in and out of a store over and over again just to be greeted  
       repetitively. (this works best at Racetrak and Cici's Pizza)

4.   Wear comfortable clothes.

5.   Stop caring what you look like.

6.   Sing loudly in your car without any music (even at redlights), with your
      windows rolled down.

7.   Swing, for heaven's sake, swing at the playground.

8.   Be nice to everyone, even the snotty retail girl.

9.   Go to a church where every Sunday the hairs stand up on your arms
      because you feel the presence of GOD.

10.  Visit an old cemetery and just sit for a while.

11.  Say "I love you" at the end of every phone call, especially to the bill
       collectors.

12.  Play a video game with your kids, just so they can laugh at how bad you
       are.

13.  Go without underwear one day.

14.  Read Pope and the Bible.

15.  Once a month eat whatever you want and however much of it you want.

16.  Work out.

17.  Snuggle with the warm body of someone who loves you.

18.  Let a dog lick your face. (it's really not that bad)

19.  Call a random number just to say "hi" to the person who answers.

20.  Be yourself so others can know who you truly are.

A new life granted
Glad to be starting over
Better days await
A totally free spirit
No longer so appeasing

Spare me from suburbia.
I hate the chatter.
And the cookie cutter houses.
And people worrying about what shade of Estee Lauder they need to look 20 years younger.
The bigger the SUV ...the better.
Yeah that's my saying too.
Oh yes it's Doggy Spa day! yippee.
Freakin morons.
Put your Gucci shades back on quick before you get to the underpass and see the man who fought for your freedom so that you can enjoy your Sushi on the right side of town, begging for anything you can spare.
But thats right you have nothing to give, do you.
I mean you couldn't possibly dip into the college fund for little Jessica, who by the way is snorting blow as we speak, in the projects across the tracks, while you think she is attending the high school pep rally, as all good cheerleaders do.
And you might want to slow down just a little bit, because if you reach your hubby's highrise office even just one minute ahead of schedule, Candy won't have time to push her skirt back down, wipe her mouth, and re apply her reading glasses, before you enter...and that would be a bit uncomfortable , don't you think?
Maybe you just better turn around altogether and head back to suburbia baby!
There's a reason you are called a stay-at-home mom.
It's the safest place for you...trust me.
Reality causes varicose veins and then you would need emergency laser surgery to correct it, which would interefere with your PTA meeting this afternoon.

When the sea-raged ship came into view,
And the crowded harbour's whistle blew,
The sky took on a relieved hue,
As did my face when I saw you.

And there I stood, with eyes frozen so still,
And by just staring, they beckoned my will,
Closer you came, Oh! the thrill!
Inch by inch, my heart did fill!

And I gave just but a begging whispered plea,
For safety to attend from the shore out to thee.
And so ended a wonderful voyage at sea,
My love, once again, had returned to me.

When the sea-raged ship came into view,
And the crowded harbour's whistle blew,
The sky took on a relieved hue,
As did my face when I saw you.

So much effort, so much time,
To emerge with an empty hand.
So many trials, so many tries,
More hurt than one should withstand.

So many years, so many smiles,
Gone overnight like a star.
So much confusion, so much illusion
How did it go this far?

Lovers are lovers and then they are not,
Forever, a fervent quest,
That's not guaranteed, not guaranteed
Even when giving your best.

Taking a break from feeling for now,
To heal, to reflect, to discern.
Still desiring to love and yearning to trust,
Naive heart has so much to learn.

Bring back the days of yesteryear,
When all seemed easy, all was free.
Before life had progressed so much,
With all of mans' technology.

Back when most men moved slower,
And their acts were mostly true.
In a world that really believed,
So much could be done with few.

When your neighbor next door to you,
Would wave and ask how you are.
And a father and son could be spied,
Working together to fix an old car.

When mothers tucked their children,
Into their beds every night,
After saying The Lord's Prayer together,
Before turning out the light.

When the festival held in the town,
Caused the businesses to close.
When grandpa's sat with grandchildren,
Under trees to read some prose.

When lemonade was squeezed outside,
Under a big old oak tree.
And honey for the mornings' toast,
Was stolen from the honey bee.

And in church every Sunday,
Man would shake each others' hands.
And forget any differences,
Knowing that God surely understands.

When there was still a clean, crisp, creek,
With a tire swing overlook.
And the teens would find their first love,
A sheepish grin was all it took.

When picnic tables were filled with friends,
And families would still play a game.
And when you went to the five and dime,
Everyone knew your name.

A time when money had less value,
Than the work a man could give.
Bring back the days of yesteryear,
So that I could simply live.

My mind is always working,
Down-times are so few.
Now I sit with idle time,
Wondering what to do.

There are so many, many, things,
I have put off for so long,
I should just get up and start them,
Before many more come along.

But yet I feel that I deserve,
Sometime to just restfully be.
And lounge right through this quiet day,
Where my time feels totally free.

I am waiting patiently for the "feeling that they say",
Will strike me like a lightning rod and will not go away.
True love for the first time, ever , in all these years.
A soulmate made just for me, who'll quickly dry my tears.

Meeting you, I halted, feeling certain it would be.
For you have all the qualities I wish I had in me.
But it has been a while now and this "feeling that they say,"
Has eluded me once again, but,oh, how I wish to stay....

Here with you, even though, my knees don't often shake,
The comfort that you offer me, the peace from you I take,
Should I choose to sacrifice this "feeling that they say?"
So I can remain all settled with you for just another day?

Never having felt true love, my faith, is losing ground.
Banking all my hopes, on what others "say" the've found.
How much longer must I wait for this "feeling that they say?"
I want to feel it just with you, please take my breath away!

All at once, I feel the warmth,
As the sun springs into view.
And lays it beam all over me,
As I stand right here with you.

Our hands resting weightlessly,
Within each others', by our side.
And we stand here so at ease,
Nothing to prove; nothing to hide.

No need to utter any words,
We know what each other would say,
So we just enjoy the quietness,
Of another most beautiful day.

Go ahead... think your smarter,
Than me .. go right ahead.
In fact I did agree with you,
"Your so smart" (pouty lips) is what I said.
And then went on pretending
To be a naïve simple fool,
That was all to my advantage, baby,
Letting you think we were "cool."
But I found the truth behind your lies
And I heard everything you said
Then I pretended I loved you too
While you were in my bed.
But you deemed yourself unworthy
And I'm not some naïve simple fool,
Think yourself smarter all you like
But I'm sending you back to school.

And now I must dissect the past
And seperate every part
Every wrong decision
And every broken heart
Regrets I'll place off to the left
Unheard "I love you's" have their place
Useless dreams..they go on the right
By the memories of your face
Wasted years and loneliness
They will all go in a stack
Right beside all my love for you
Love that you never gave me back.

I'd like a clearer vision, of the truth this life does hold.
A rational perspective, distinct, like hot or cold.
With which to use in daily life to choose the wiser way
And tap into my soul's self worth, so I can simply say.

That which is before me, concerns me none at all.
For it is not within my power, I will not hear its'call.
And turn myself internal; focus only on those things,
Which depend on only me, and the peace this brings.

And find a calm serenity that has eluded me up 'til now,
Resolving to be the best I can,to myself I make this vow.
And in the quest for absolute happiness, I will find,
That all it takes, is to myself and others.. just be kind.

Come and lay down with me.

Place your head next to mine on these soft pillows.
Let's breathe each other in.
Pretend that time is paused and we have forever to spend.

I want to touch your hair and the spot right at your temple that meets your jawline.
And run my fingers over your lips, slowly, as if my fingertips could memorize the lines in them.
I want to look into your eyes with mine fully open, so that you can see within.
And seeing you, and knowing you, my heart will swell up inside, and feel like imploding.

And we could lay like that for hours...in no rush, yet knowing we will do more in a little while, but wanting to prolong it, savor it, to put it to clear real-time memory, so we can recall it in detail later, whenever we wish.

And it won't be a heated union, not a fast release.
We deserve more than that...we deserve so much more than that.

There will be no tearing off of clothes, but rather, we will both stand, and undress one piece of clothing at at time, unveiling ourselves to each other.
Unveiling ourselves and discovering each other together.

And my hands will guide you to all the parts of me...all of them..because that's what I want to give to you.
And we will move without thinking...only feeling, only depth.

And we will surrender together to us....

There will be nothing like it.
Nothing to compare it to.

It will be meant and it will be all that is you and me.

I heard the crow at dawn again.
It awoke me from a deep slumber.
As if to chastise me for not being up already.
There is so much to do, of course.
So I sat up on the edge of the bed.
And stretched up with my hands clasped.
The sun slowly creeping itself over the window ledge
And striking my eye just so...making me squint.
The crow called again.
I must not be fast enough for him.
I stand up with a half- hearted vigor
And rub my eyes.
I proceed with with my morning routine
Skipping the harsh mouthwash today.
Again the crow.
He hurries me as if I am racing a clock.
And makes my heart beat more prominently in my chest.
What an awful call a crow has.
Incessant and prodding.
I feel as if I am being yelled at and I don't deserve that.
I cross into the kitchen and reach over the door.
To the mount that holds my ol' Winchester.
I push open the squeaking screen door.
And step outside.
Again the crow calls but this time I am rallied.
I am too slow for him, am I?
We will see about that!

By the time it becomes visible
I'll have been in hell for quite a while
Tight mittens binding up my hands
Tempered wince behind the smile

Moist cement ...three feet deep
And a mind that won't think straight
Clumsy and slow...trudging along
In a fogged deficient state.

Simple things become so great
And the pain won't let me be
Slumber 14 hours long
Meet the new..unimproved...ME.

A sign of true nobility, they say,
Is to exit premature.
Denying the host the privelege of,
Showing you the door.
Scrutiny upon your leaving,
You're regarded a bit obscure,
But did she really want you to go,
And tell me are you quite sure?

You will always be those slippers
and the one I talk to you in my mind
and when I'm just needing a smile
yours will be the face I find
you are the truth.. the absolute
that time can't paraphrase
the beginning and the middle
and the end of all my days  
when everything is seeming grim
when my lifes end is drawing near
ill just slip those slippers on
and say goodbye my dear.