You know I told Lana we broke up.

No she said you were ****** though. Astrid was sat
at her desk typing.

Yes I said I'm pretty ****** ******. I sat on the sofa
and hugged a cushion.

For ***** sake I thought you don't even care. Typing away
blissfully ignorant. I just ignored her after that.

You know what I thought I am allowed to be ******. Fo'real I have
every ******* reason to feel hurt by you. Especially after
what you did AGAIN! The typewriter stuck and you flipped the lid
to fix it. I just sat curled up in a ball.

I'm so done with your attitude and all your expectations.
I am allowed to need affection just as much as you do. The cat
jumped on my lap. As I pet his head he purred with
content. At least someone cares I whispered to him.

Just because I am forgiving too **** forgiving.

You finished the last lines. Rolled the paper off and
placed it next to the others. You then started another piece.

I can not believe Astrid is just sat here with nothing to say
to think you are the only one who matters.

And isn't it ******* good that my heart forgives easily I am always
saying that to Lana. Astrid's back is to me as I mutter
under my breath. She doesn't even notice.

I got up and went outside for a ***. The cat followed me as always
my faithful companion I thought. Ugh I was still ******.
I don't know how I trust you but I know I'll stay even though
I told Lana I was leaving  and I'll never tell you that I pinky promised
no more of your drama or your recklessness I thought.
As the cat circled me I blew out smoke rings one for each affair.

Baby I finished she called to me through the window. You wanna pour
us a drink. Of course I replied with a smile.

I was so *******!

  © Sia Jane

Look at me
Tossing my heart out to the most unsuspecting people
Tell me
Do you know what to do with it?

Make me dance in the rain
Kiss me in the night
Hold me each morning
Love me like none before you.

Old flames have hurt my heart
I will truly never let you in.
I cannot risk the unobtainable damage
To my fragile emotionless heart.

Here I go again,
Falling for just another man
Who can disguise the evil
With just a sweet kiss.

There's a pain in your head that won't seem to subside
So lay in your bed cos it's raining outside
But why lay there all day when there's things to be done?
Get up, go out and play, shift your ****, have some fun.
It's only a bit of rain and it ain't really that cold
Stop making excuses, you're not 80 years old.
But any time day or night, you'll find bed can be fun
When you roll to your right and lock eyes with 'the one'

The night is beautiful it may put everything in a disguise,
It could hide away the creatures of the night and make you feel like you won a prize as the stars shine so bright,
You will never forget when you wake up in the morning the feeling you had at night,
Despite what happens next the feeling of your heart beat in your chest.

I have these two watches that i keep for so long. It both held the same  time, when you and I first met.

   That exact minute my eyes witnessed,
that rare of a beauty.

         As how one galaxy collided with other galaxy to yield the most exquisite scenery of stars dancing and kissing each other.

                     Slowly...

                     Passionately...

               I have kept these for two simple reasons.

               First, as a reminder that we are existing in the same lifetime.

                Last, so i will not forget that those watches, contain the time of two distant space.

              ** Just like us.

I'm haunted by ghosts.
Screaming profanities,
Shattering the barriers of solitude.
Banshees cursing me,
Leading them to the depths,
Of the hell I created.

The blackened pit,
I the tormentor.
Where my eyes pierce
Sweetest fantasy, corrupting innocence.
Filling hearts with dread.

Dreams turned into night mares.
Stampeding insanity,
Like merry-go-rounds
Drilling painful truths into
The painted fictions of hope
That we dream of as children.

I am the madness your heart craves.
And the poison that kills you.