You know I told Lana we broke up.

No she said you were ****** though. Astrid was sat
at her desk typing.

Yes I said I'm pretty ****** ******. I sat on the sofa
and hugged a cushion.

For ***** sake I thought you don't even care. Typing away
blissfully ignorant. I just ignored her after that.

You know what I thought I am allowed to be ******. Fo'real I have
every ******* reason to feel hurt by you. Especially after
what you did AGAIN! The typewriter stuck and you flipped the lid
to fix it. I just sat curled up in a ball.

I'm so done with your attitude and all your expectations.
I am allowed to need affection just as much as you do. The cat
jumped on my lap. As I pet his head he purred with
content. At least someone cares I whispered to him.

Just because I am forgiving too **** forgiving.

You finished the last lines. Rolled the paper off and
placed it next to the others. You then started another piece.

I can not believe Astrid is just sat here with nothing to say
to think you are the only one who matters.

And isn't it ******* good that my heart forgives easily I am always
saying that to Lana. Astrid's back is to me as I mutter
under my breath. She doesn't even notice.

I got up and went outside for a ***. The cat followed me as always
my faithful companion I thought. Ugh I was still ******.
I don't know how I trust you but I know I'll stay even though
I told Lana I was leaving  and I'll never tell you that I pinky promised
no more of your drama or your recklessness I thought.
As the cat circled me I blew out smoke rings one for each affair.

Baby I finished she called to me through the window. You wanna pour
us a drink. Of course I replied with a smile.

I was so *******!

  © Sia Jane