I really have no time for this. It's not real. I don't want to flirt. I don't want to have to dress nice for you to notice me, to give me a second glance. I don't want you to be my prince charming or mi knight in shining armor. I don't want to be naked for you to see me. I don't want to have to pretend that I like that *******. I want us to be real. I don't want to put up with society's crap. I want to actually be happy and enjoy my life. I don't want us to work according to the plan. Rules that aren't written down, yet somehow they make their way into our lives. They ***** it up from the beginning. I don't want you to be perfect. I don't want us to be perfect. Not by society standards, at least. I know that as long as I love you you'll be perfect in my eyes. So, why do we bother with the other useless things? When I look at you, I don't want to be looking at a soulless, ripped, mindless guy whose biggest concern is being socially accepted and hitting on girls and drinking shots and crashing parties. I haven't and won't date that kind of guy. EVER. I just can't bring myself to like that kind of person (not that I want to).
I want someone that I can be comfortable with. Someone who looks after me but not because he disbelieves in my strength, but because he can't stand the mere idea of loosing me. I want him to understand me, I want us to have long talks. I want us to cry, laugh and play like idiots. I want us to have little play-fights, that kind of arguments that are based in pointless ideas and always end up in a kiss. I want to be able to share everything with him. I want us to be best friends. I want us to know each other so that we can fully trust one another. I need the guy to be there for me. I need it to be real. I need it to be love. True love. Not those fake little relationships destined to failure. Those filled with jealousy, replacing trust, self-confidence and respect. I know I sound like an old conventional lady, rambling like this about such hideous teeny tiny details. But life's all about details. If not, everyone's lives would be incredibly monotone and that would be disgusting. Different is beautiful. That's why nobody is better than you. You deserve someone who gets that and treats you right. You deserve to be happy, just as everyone else does.

Suicide...
Only the strongest and the most beautiful do it.
Their are ways around it.
Yet everyone around us don't see what is happening.
Everything that may seem it is turning against you it might be for the worse or the better.
The most precious in our lives can be the worst in discretion.
Those we see everyday may think that you are "okay" but really your not..
They think that your just tired.. but in reality your not fine at all.
Speak what you are thinking. Say what you want to see. Do what you must to be heard and show them that you are not okay.

stair w
        a
        y stair w
                   a
                   y stair w
                              a
                              y stair w
                                         a
                                         y stair w
                                                    a
                                                    y stair w
                                                               a
                                                               y sta
No escalators to heaven , no free rides .
Just one long hard climb , one step at a time .

Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day’s divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it’s quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.