To deny ones tendencies is foolish,
they will escape sooner or later.
the build up is dangerous.

so,
****,
pluck,
finger,
and ****.

Just remember,
hunger will only suffice when you learn the truth of the world.

The bloodiest,
wettest,
juiciest part of the ****,
is the heart.

I feel the pain in my lower back,
from the low blows life throws.
I am so afraid to speak to the people in my life,
because

it took me four months just to finish this,
and I don't even like it.

That is what failure feels like.

I want to spend every day in a bar.
Drunk or not,
the atmosphere relaxes me.
To read a book,
to chat it up,
to get knockered too early.
I want to do it all in a bar.
Preferably one made of dark wood and many stories.

To become a regular looks bad in retrospect,
because no one believes its a place of good tidings.
It is though.

*****, bourbon, bar tenders ears.
Therapy free of charge. (unless you order something)

I want to spend my life in a bar,
sad to the public,
but bliss on my tombstone.

I was up last night,
every hour on the hour.

For 7 hours.

I felt the pain begin in my stomach,
and travel so sharply and slowly down my organs.
I realized around 3 AM,
that pain can make anyone believe in God.
If only long enough to pray for the ending of their misery.

When the sun began to rise,
I felt my eyes heavily weigh shut,
and the pain ******* my all hopes of anything longer than fifteen minutes of rest.

They say it takes 7 years to completely loose a whole layer of skin cells.
I don't remember when I started,
so I can imagine I have shed a bit of skin in the 22 years I have been alive.
Perhaps this year really, physically, will be,
a new me.

But probably not.

"I'm so in love with her."
"Her smile is what men, from decades ago, sang of."
"I saw her across a room, and my taint and lips caught fire."
"I wanted to show her everything I could before she decided to go."
"My heart sang, instead of my ****, for the first time."

"I'm in love with her."

"I couldn't stop watching her drink from a glass which i knew was full of straight whiskey. She is so strong."
"Her eyes were so bright, i felt them hold me. I must be so cliche"

"I wanted her kiss. I could already tell how soft her lips would be."

"I wanted her."
"I love her."

I have no sadness for those who weep alone.
I feel only compassion,
because when the world gets painful there is no cure.
No word that can fix a broken heart,
and who would want it to.

I see people speak of suicide too often,
I stopped feeling sad for them and started to nod my head along.
Because what feels better than someone trying to stop you?
Being understood.
Being connected.

If we die today,
by our hand,
or by another,
at least we had each other for a moment.

To me that feels better,
than an empty comment.

and maybe you'll stay with me,
to wallow.