Trust is like time.
Once lost,
It can never return.

I am black coffee with curves of sugar.
I am a spoon of chocolate
I am soul food
I am a wombed man
The rib of an african king
The golden crown of the cosmos.

I am full moon or a sunset
I am light,
I am a spark,
a flame,
a bonfire,
I am fire works.

I’ll leave traces of smoke in your nostrils.,
Just so you’ll recognize my presence when you’re seeking me.
I’ll shelter myself between your veins just to make your heart beat a little faster.
I am the revolution of love.
I am a silenced desire.

"Today's the day I walk away" I tell myself as I drive to work.
"Let it be over, and be happy" I repeat to myself.

I say these things to convince myself not to think of her, so i dont spend every waking second checking my phone for a lousy text from her, like It would be my honor to receive a reply.

"**** um, I dont care, I am happy" as I get half way though my depressing work day.

No text, still. It's about 30 minutes to punch out and im finally over her, iv accepted her not responding and by this time im so ****** that if she did respond, I wont even bother with it.

            PUNCH

I walk out the door to my car

vib vib  vib vib
             Check
"hey wanna come over?"

And like the ******* I am, I don't even think twice about it, I rush home to change, I rush over to see her.

Shes like my drug dealer, she knows how to cheer me up with any one of her moods as if they were a drug.

Problem is, after I leave I want more and more, and become more disappointed than I was before.

"Please just let it be over..." as I drive home to collect my thoughts and depression sinks in more. God im too stubborn to walk away.

It's not like I dont think about you, I do.
But it comes and goes.

I think of another every **** day, everyday since day one.

I try to let her go but it's impossible.
So ill hold on to that tighter and know that it happened.

But I remember you.

You hesitate with every word
As if everything you say means the world
To everyone who might hear you
You shiver as you maintain eye contact
With every motion, your hair,
It cuts through the air with beauty
All of the beauty of your entirety
And you smile when i tell you all of this
With your teeth white,
And your tongue sticking out,
You are the embodiment of my happiness.