I never have truly liked myself.
Its why I work so hard to improve, but still I fall short.
But in your presence I don't think of my short comings.
Thank-you for that

how haunting it is to be in your presence,
your hands so near to mine.
the hands that used to stroke my hair
and brush tears off my cheek.
the mouth that would speak the words
to help me fall asleep.
the eyes that saw the scars and blood
along my fragile arms.
how haunting it is to see you and to know
that you know
that the blood continues to pour
and the scars
are forevermore.

at night before we go to sleep
it feels as though you're mine to keep

but by the time the mornings here
the love you had has disappeared

I wake up and I'm filled with dread
knowing it's over when we get out of bed

and all day long I hope and yearn
that tonight you will return


*s.mndi

How were the shrooms? The Beer? The LSD?
I'll show you something more worthwhile than ****.
I can show you how to steal and lie.
Trust me, it's all you need to get by.
Why go to school? Don't turn another page!
I'm so much easier, and I come in a 30 inch gauge.
******'s my name, I've been known to destroy lives.
Takings out actors, teenagers, fathers, and wives.
People will leave you, that's just fine.
Follow me, you'll be all mine.
Try to get rid of me? What a joke.
Pretty soon you'll have a needle, looking for a vein to poke.
Need some love? That's gonna be hard to find.
But don't worry, cause I'll always be in the back of your mind.

I thought to myself as I watched lightning dance across the sky north of my town.
"They must be getting really pounded up there."
But where I stood it was dry and no lightning threatened my light night walk.
So I carried on.
I never really plan these walks, I've never wanted to.
And there is no doubt in my mind.
That everyone I know spots me from time to time.
Old friends, relatives to whom I rarely speak, the black lipped girl I used to write about.
And sometimes I wonder what they think of me as I walk along.
But then my mind jumps away to other thoughts.
And its not even that I don't care which is usually the case.
It's just because on my walks I never go backwards.