She was the train you missed by a second
You look longingly at her direction long after she was gone

She was the coffee that spilt before you could take a sip
The scent of her and the stain on the carpet remains to remind you of what you lost

She was the flower you planted that withered before it bloomed
You are always left wondering how beautiful your life would have been with her around

She was the card you didn't call when you had a strong hunch that you could have won
She was the chance you didn't take

If you had only rushed to meet her...
If you had only handled her right...
If you had only given her more attention...
If you had only been more brave...

If it is structure I hope to attain,
Then surely I am too far gone.
Another verbally butchered hymn that I pray to find release in, will remain a story of how the drink took me. Took me to slopes too steep. Valleys ever narrow. Nothing could quench my thirst, just left to bones without marrow.
Not the tears of my mother, theft from my brother,
the lies to woo a past lover, could stop me from having another.
A phase; "believe it'll pass and it will,
But along with your belief you have a life bound to this pill."
I want hope, I want to believe
I want to know it'll be okay.
I see that in others, just not me.

My periods don't go where they are intended to be.
My words hardly pass the count of four and this still has me sore before my feet hit the floor.
No over abundance of grammatical frosting to make these up to par, I've already passed my bounds.
I've gone too far.
As simple as this may be for you,
Consider yourself one of the lucky few.
To have the knowledge to know what your inability to be at ease tells you while you're typing on screen. For me that can be. Or so it seems.
Set me free

I have a permanent ache in my chest- and every time he talks to me it gets worse and worse. It's becoming more difficult to ignore. I used to be able to push it out of my thoughts and pretend I was okay but I don’t know how to do that any more. It’s like this emptiness is taking over every thought I have. I'm scared if I don’t get rid of him it will swallow me whole but at the same time I’m terrified that it will engulf me in darkness permanently if he’s gone.

It’s like he’s become both the life preserver and the tidal wave. Talking to him drags me to the bottom of the ocean and drowns me but at the same time somehow pulls me to the surface and pushes the oxygen back into my lungs.

I don’t know how to live with or without him.

My sadness makes no sense,
Like what you said.
It's substandard
It's self-absorbed
It's not fine.

My cheerless comes from rejection
Rejection to accept me
To the world
From myself
I dread of rejection

My sadness secrete in my shadow
Behind my smile
Behind my laugh
Behind my happiness
This sadness is forbidden

My sadness comes from waves
i am drowning,
sinking,
but slowly dying
still smiling

This kind of sadness is verboten
So i covert
With my pen
And a paper
To write a poem

This sadness made a scar in my heart; a mark that will be remembered
And i'm sorry that this sadness hurt you, the way it hurt me.
Just like you, i hate this feeling overwhelming, and i'm sorry.

j.d.p

To the one I never met
To the heart that doesn't care
To the love we never had
To the intimacy we'll never share

I could hear your voice even though I never did
Each word you said resonates in my ear
I knew you for a moment
But each second I held dear

Must I rejoice that our paths had crossed?
Or lament that it ever did?
For all that you have left me
Is a memory to reckon with

We were gonna be a perfect pair
The world was ours to conquer
We'd read each other poems
And share a lot of laughter

We were gonna be Chuck and Blair;
Scotty and Harvey Specter
But then I realized,
Scotty and Harvey didn't end up together

So I'll find my Chuck
And you'll find your Donna
To forget you or not
Will be my dilemma

A pity it can't be called love
Cause it was too short and shallow
But in my twisted reality
It was deep and not hollow

You'll think that I'm silly
Cause you're too good with reason
But what you don't understand
Is how to deal with emotion

In a different reality
You would have met me
We'd go for a walk
And say something witty

But you'll be fine
And I'll be okay
It will all make sense
Hopefully, someday

one who wished to fly,
     a man of great metaphors
     whom we'll surely miss.
mentor he became,
     taught us many ways of life
     before he took flight.

5 years on,
yet it still lingers in my mind.
that fateful night,
when i was engulfed by the flames,
and taken into the dark.

it started peacefully at first.
we were friends-- no
we were great friends
a powerful bond that could not be broken
but sadly,
that alone were the boundaries.

i started falling for you.
day by day
hour by hour
minute by minute,
it grew stronger.
an overwhelming feeling it was
what was it called again? oh right, love

after a year or so,
i finally confessed
even if the inevitable response will reach my ears
"i'm sorry but its better if we're just friends"
a smile crept on my face
as i wept inside.
but thats ok,
because you never seemed to have left my side
you were always there for me
a great friend indeed.

we'd always exchange smiles at each other
and sometimes, they'd last a second too long
and you would turn away to avoid it from being longer.
oh right you have a girlfriend
i guess it did hurt me but what could i do?
we were only just friends

but i ruined it.
that bond we used to share snapped in a split second
it was at that fateful night,
where i lost my path to you.

it has been 5 years
and i am sorry.
sorry for being such a nuisance you had to be "friends" with
sorry for loving you at the first place
sorry for making you feel so guilty for not loving me back
but please
at least
give me one last chance
one last time to be next to you
one last glance
a smile
a final burst of laughter with you
because even if this will just last for a short while,
at least
it gives me hope that we can be friends once again.

as he stared at her from afar
in a sweet, loving gaze,
with sweaty palms and a hesitating voice,
he never really realized
that someone else
loves him the same way he loves her.