i'm okay with the silence that fills the air when we walk past each other now, and the half empty smiles shared amongst us when we both are walking in through the same door.
i'm okay with not wondering what you're doing, or if it's her you're missing, or why you can't sleep. i realize now that your curiosity only runs as far as my brastrap and *******, and once your fingers found my skin, my magic disappeared.

so for that i apologize. i take full responsibility. but i no longer have to settle and i no longer am allowing you to have power over me.

you don't get to make me feel worthless and full of emptiness. you aren't allowed to steal my purity, even if you stole it elsewhere. i am not used, i am not broken, and i promise you
i will continue to live.
you don't get to call at midnight when you miss her and need me. you aren't allowed to come in my heart when it's convienent for you and pluck the growth from me. i know you despise to see me move on, to see me let go, so i'll do just that because i realize now
**i am worth it, and i deserve so much more.

i hate the winter
so why the ****
do i keep begging the cold to stay
and looking for arms to keep me warm

i feel empty a lot
but even more when you kiss me
because you aren't mine
and i never meant
to let you in my bed
but here we are
every ******* **** night
skin to skin
lips
fingers
heart
full of regret

i'm tired of pretending
love will solve all of my problems

You're too coped up with feeling sad
you forgot how ridiculous the whole thing was

You don't realize how stupid it was
to give up everything
for someone
who wouldn't even bother about you

Maybe you don't understand how he wouldn't even try caring
When you gave him your all

Maybe you felt that one day your sincerity will seep through to his heart

But you know this
Deep down, you do
Its what you don't want to tell yourself

He had left his heart with someone else.

the only one
we need in order to
shift the Light back toward
our own "b r o k e n" pieces

     is ourselves.

we are not obligated to fill our Soul up
with other people's worn out pieces
ok?

             listen:

You do not have to pick from gardens
outside of the forest already thriving within You.

for when You do;
Your head will fill with leaves that fall from autumns breeze when all You needed to breathe was spring, winter will come in june, and soon You'll lose sight of the moon... because you lost Yourself inside of somebody else's fire, gasping for answers.

When all along, all You had seeked, had been burning up in You.

and the only way out is to fall in Love
with the smoke rising in Your own eyes.

like You could before You jumped ship,
like You could before You began
                     f e a r i n g
the possibility of finding out that Your pieces
may not ever fit together in the same way again.

      but what is life if we always float where the water is calm?
              what is life if our pieces never changed?

i don't know about You, but i prefer the rapid descent of water falls and milky way skies that can only be achieved through the most demanding environments; the ones that leave You filled with

                                      P u r e  L i g h t.

               You are enough energy; all on Your own.

Your Light is what leads You back hOMe.
back to Your own field of wildfires where You can see
                         c l e a r l y
again, since Your broken heart's eye now knows that Your vessel alone holds enough Light to fuel all the stars in the sky, that it burns enough fire to warm the hearts of millions.

& as You breathe:

You can feel the Love of countless stars who all
         e x p l o d e d
to fill Your body cavities with all the strength You will ever need.

and next time You feel alone, put Your hand to you heart
and feel the rhythm of the
     YOUniverse
listen to nature sing You melodies
of the Truth: that You are not a "me"
You are woven in to the cosmos
as an integral part of "We"
and every single
thing You
see

It terrifies me that we only get a limited amount of time with people. And that some people get more time than others who should have. I’m forever envious of those who’ve gotten more time with you than I have. That I may never get to be with you as long as they have. That our time is running out. And I miss you already. And I never want to say goodbye. At first it was slow, late nights in your car and afternoons in my bedroom. But now it feels like it’s happening all at once, like you’re doing a snow angel on my heart and it keeps getting bigger and bigger. Kissing on the sidewalk, holding hands in your coat pocket because I forgot to bring gloves. Wandering around museums and having hard conversations on your couch that make me love you even more; even when the air becomes glass, I can’t stop thinking about how lucky I feel to know you. That there’s no one else like you. My heart aches in your arms and aches when we’re apart. And I just want to be as close to you as possible, for as long as possible, because you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I love who I am when I’m with you.

Love is indeed the most tragic form of art.