Mental notes
Scribbling across
Mind and heart
Voiceless words
In subconscious
Lest we forget
Invisible diary
Pages of drivel
Given importance
Nonetheless
Stacked up
Are volumes
Of such diaries
Shelved on shelf

There are some people in this world who bring out the best in you. And then there are those who bring out the worst. But there is a third type, the rare kind of person that is extremely hard to find. This is the kind of person that brings out the most in you, whether it be good or bad.

They make you cry at ten pm and then make you laugh hysterically at three am. They gingerly trail their thumb along yours while holding your hand and then stay horribly silent when they see tears tumbling down from your eyes.  They make you love the arguments, because everything they say is driven by ardor instead of acrimony. They make you begin to recognize the genuine affection that is hidden in the smallest of smirks.

They don't gently wipe away your tears and tell you it will be okay, but pick you up by the arm and tell you that yes, life will ******* over. Because they know that this is what is going to get you to finally stand up for yourself.  They tell you blatantly when your jokes ****, and insist on better ones. They make you feel so alive that you know you would follow them straight into hell if it means you can keep getting your fix. They cry easily, but due to the fact that they feel so much, and so much of it is for you.

They aren't your significant other, but they sure as hell give you a significant life.

That I know..

You are very much hurting everyday
You feel like you just can't get away
Tears of blood cloud in your eyes till you can't see
Hurting and hurting longing to be free

Tears congregate and form into a puddle
Silently you are masking the pain, the struggle
All these while you are suffering in silence
Quietly resisting the emotional violence

You lift your eyes, but dimmed with grief
Your sorrow lends but only weak relief
You die everyday, you are wearied
It's like you're dressed at the funeral of regret, not yet buried

The stabbing pain you don't wish to bare
Nothing could make you feel better even if you share
You are gathering the strength you have in your soul
To beat the drums, feed the fire with coal

You are dipping your pain in inkwell heart
And scrawling out what you are feeling
Those words becoming the tourniquet
You don't know when your heart will stop bleeding

my life is lived with such
motion and speed
that sometimes I miss the
absence of sound
the deep stillness and silence
that is at the core of my being

Let's defy gravity, baby.

Let's defy that *****
until her forceful hands shake us
back to reality.

We'll rise above this dreary world
and play leap frog among the stars.

We'll smoke one with the moon
while he
spills secrets about the Sun.

We'll get drunk off faith
and throw a prayer or two up ahead
for the Man Upstairs.

When the magic fades,
We'll hold one another as the law comes back into effect
and we slowly drift through the clouds
claiming lazily
that the moon prefers Southern Comfort.

I experience crippling anxiety
The people who feel high
Think it's easy to be high
Because they are high
And say to the low
To be high
But once I'm entangled
By the breathless thoughts
I am unable
To function

Depersonalization
Is crippling
And temporarily devolves me

There are many things i am happy to forget,
To wipe away
To a clean slate.
A new year,
A new beginning.
The start of something new
Compared to something old.
The lost soul,
Brought to be found again.
Light comes
And darkness fades.
A new year,
Is a new start,
A fresh place,
Happiness may come
To bring sorrowed pain.
Its a new chapter,
A different page.
You are the creator of your own story,
Walk your own path
A new road,
Twist and turns
Blurred lines
Shadowed trees.
Its a new year,
A new beginning
This is your choice,
Only you can decide.

Life is full of sad stories
And painful memories
It's also filled with laughter
And beautiful people to share the moments you adore most with
But its a dark world out there with thunderstorms that dont stop
And disasters that never cease
However, there are rays of light
That i call hope,
You have to hold onto that hope,
That it will all get better
Or you will have nothing at all,
You'll just stare blankly at things watching, waiting for a change.
*But you are the change.
You are the hope.

Im tired of just surviving,
I want to live.
Make me feel something!
Anything.