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 May 2015
axr
A,
I have never been a fan of letters.
I rewrote this multiple times.
but here it goes..
would you listen to me if I sang the same words to you in different melodies
or different words in the same melody?
would you giggle everytime I hold your hand?
or sing my favourite songs with me?
I'm thinking about you while writing this, you are in my thoughts.
you're a wonderful person amongst many other things
look at you now, scaling heights,conquering peaks.
isn't all of this fun?



I have forgotten what happened between us.
It's weird,
Two years have gone so fast.
I am better now. More versatile,angry and intuitive.
I restrict myself from feeling emotions.
I am try to make myself better every moment.
I have been self harm free for a year.
Sometimes, I sing.
I am strumming random chords in my head.
I listen to a German band now.
I have a crush on a Norwegian chess player
That's all about me, how have you been doing?
Did you get to visit the places you wanted to? Did you get any pets?
You're turning eighteen in May! That's awesome!
I am happy for you.

With rage and love,
J
I hope you find this
 May 2015
Phoenix Rising
Opi
The pen drew dots in my eyes,
my grip lessened and there I was
Nothingness

No, not bad
No, not good
Nothing

Nothing was...
Nothing

I liked to spend most of my time being nothing
in the bath tub
While the days happened without me
and blurred over like watercolor
 Apr 2015
Phoenix Rising
I often catch myself
involuntarily whispering a phrase;
"I wish I were home"
while at my house.

I dream of a character
that I know exists but I'll never find
because I'm too comfortable with
being alone all of the time.

Light pets my cornea every morning, through the sunshine printed tapestry...
I prefer the synthetic things in life,


the irony.
 Apr 2015
Phoenix Rising
There I lay,
inside the swirling abyss that formed from a mere powder;
a seemingly harmless substance

my eyes were rolling into the back of my cranium
my teeth hugged onto each other for dear life

Disorientation covered my mouth shut so I couldn't screamed

I didn't dare to speak because words made no sense
I stared blankly at my companions as they tried directing conversation at me

Is that my heart I feel pulsing my entire body?
Where did this darkness come from?
I must be dying, I'll just shut my eyes

I woke up later
I overdosed
 Mar 2015
Phoenix Rising
I sing better when I hurt
                 when I hurt
                              when I hurt
When I think of you
                   you
                          you

I can't love with you on my mind
I can't live with you on my mind
I've lost my mind
All the contents spilled out
I'm scrounging for the pieces that
I can't be myself without

I want you but you're poisonous

Empty and drained
from the effort put forth
From watching  it wash down
like an ocean sand fort

Let's head north
where memories freeze
like my tears from the breeze,
smelling of old pine trees

...please,
leave

Because I surely can't
I don't possess the strength
 Mar 2015
Phoenix Rising
You're a theatrical kind of mad.
 Feb 2015
devante moore
What if I never said I love you
Where would we be?
Would you be with someone different
Would you even love me
What if that day I did let you go
Would you have came back
Would you say you couldn't live without me
What if I left you
How would you react
Would you tell me to stay
What if we never met
How happy would you be
What if that break I took lasted more then three days
How long would you have waited
What if I never said I like you
Where would you be
Would you still be with him
Would you have ever admitted your feelings for me
What if I chose her over you
Where would I be
What if we never met
How happy with you be
What if I never said I love you
 Feb 2015
Phoenix Rising
you're the snake
coiled around my throat
snapping my vocal chords







to: my tongue
 Feb 2015
Cameron is real
Whoops my bad I'm sorry for the way I act its not my fault I never got to meet my dad no **** that i don't need him my legacy is about to begin let's go everyone come with me let's have some sin I dont give a **** because my flows legit better keep your mouth shut or you'll get hit I'll split your lip then I'll unzip and **** this whole rap game itll never be the same while you're sitting back smoking your **** I'm over here planting my seed you cant stop this perfection is what I **** you don't wanna be on my list you're ******* with the best better put on your bullet proof vest my word coming at you faster than a 50 cal so sit back and listen for a while
 Feb 2015
Madeysin
I wander if,    
             When he,
                    Fell,
                        Did he scream,
                              Did he yell,
                                     Was he heart broken,
                                               D
                                                I
                                               D
                                           Tears fall
                                                 D
                                                    O
                                                       W
                                                           N
                                                              His cheeks,
                                               When his own father,
                                                        Banished him,
                                                            To Hell,
                   GOD DO YOU MISS HIM? ARE YOU SO SICK INSIDE THAT THE ANGEL YOU CREATED IS CAPABLE OF SUCH HORROR.
 Feb 2015
Anon
sometimes you just want to be alone
in your very own room
just complete hush-hush
scanning your thoughts
and predicting your future
accepting yourself
not keeping that thick, unlit mask
in order to dress and impress

multitudes of pressure begins to melt away
it's just you
and you only
and it becomes one of those rare occasions
where everything and anything is about you
and no one can mock or criticise
no one can tell you no
no one will have any psychological power
but yourself

and this is when you lull yourself to sleep
you decide
to finally rest
and be at inner peace
 Feb 2015
r
home in the mirror
appearing nearer

but i'm not driving
or even trying
to turn around

i'm burning down

bridges behind me
all I can see

over my shoulder
looking for closure

the colder and closer
i get to the sea.
r ~ 2/8/15
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