I don't see you anymore.
My worst fears came true.
Your night shifts, my days,
I don't know what to do.

You are my everything,
That's why I'm so afraid.
You'll find someone better,
I'll wonder why I stayed.

When did
your love for me
become a
*disappearing act?

Your silence is a kind of
Grief,
From words that were left
Unsaid.
But when swept in a drunken
Heat,
The words of then are bled.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××
I know you more;
Yet, still I don't.
There's more for me to see
But keep your mouth and desires
Shut;
Do not be familiar to me.

your fingers are like
matches
setting every piece of skin
they touch
on fire

burning all the bad
words ever said
making me believe
the words your movements
express
beautiful

it is weird to feel something
i have never felt before
i discover nerve endings
i never even thought
existed
but your fingers
find them
beautiful

our bodies
fit perfectly
as if your hands
formed me to fit yours
mashing together as one
beautiful

i feel it at every piece of skin
your hands skimmed
i feel
*beautiful

will be replaced by hers
and I could think of nothing worse.

11:16 PM
each time i attempt to sleep, each time
i try to push and shove the thought of you out of my head, i fail. miserably.
1:27 AM
every moment spent with you engulfs my brain. every smile, every laugh we shared, the time you first asked if you could kiss me. an ocean full of memories i'm drowning in.
2:01 AM
i realize my days and nights have lingered on for weeks now and still you aren't here, nor anywhere near. still you are away. still you are there. while i remain here, in this bed, hopelessly missing you. hoping wherever you are, that you are hopelessly missing me too.
2:33 AM
i realize you'll never be here.. ever.
2:47 AM
my bed feels so empty and i can't stop tracing over the place where your body once filled the empty space. keeping the other half of my sheets warm.
3:13 AM
you've managed to make it through another night of running through my head. i keep scratching down things that will allow you to escape my brain and rest on my pages, but i stopped, because i got jealous of the pages, and wanted you to rest in my arms.
6:39 AM
the sun is starting to peek through my blinds. his eyes now opening, waking up to kiss the horizon good morning. i prepare to close mine, forcing myself to sleep, and imagine kissing yours goodnight.