i envy you
at times

you have always been
all or nothing
black or white

once in
youre in it for the long run
and if you leave
youre not ever looking back

i remember how it used to scare me
being either one of those

the one you stayed for
the one you left behind

i always keep my mind in the clouds
all i ever felt
preserved neatly inside of me
dying to wear out
dying to get out

filled with contrasts
bursting with pasts

i curse my abstruse heart

always so restless
always so incalculable

i do wonder
if you feel my uneven heart beat
when we lay still
or if your peaceful ways
simply
smooths my irregular ways out
inconspicuously

1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.

it’s easier to think of you
the way you constantly fell in love
making me just one in the line
of all your miserable loves

you always seemed to choose the
impossible ones

(it’s harder to think of how you told me
and the room filled with sleeping travelers
that this isn’t about wanting the unattainable
this is something unfeigned)

it’s easier to think of you
the way your silence reached over days
impossible to get to
constant involved deep in your pain

you always seemed to feel
the world did you wrong

(it’s harder to think of our long talks
safely protected by the night
mixed with tears of laughter
and well-hidden secrets from our past)

it’s easier to think of you
and how your stubborn ways made everything
so incredible hard

you always seemed to find comfort
in beating me to our end

(it’s harder to think of all that trouble you put yourself through
just to make me happy again)

it’s easier to think of
that anxious person
i’d become with you

i would be the perfect one
for you to leave behind

(it’s harder to think of the fact
that i still think of you
despite all that)

LOVE
Is a rainbow
While life for me
Is a gift inside a box
Full of a never ending SURPRISES

I know it when I look at you
I’m stirring in your sky
thunderbolts rise up within
telling us to come inside

I feel the wind whip up again
to drowned out all the chaff
scare the flooded fields of crow
lightning deep in us to crash

I built this bed for us by hand
back when those oaks fell
it washed out all the roads to you
rain soaked sheets of skin avail

I’m not what you want to want
you look amazing in afraid
I will hold you tight this time
enough to feel your windows shake

I wish that we could try again
but I will get you back to town
wait and dry out here for you
pray your storm comes back around

ah built of the rarest things
she stands elegant
a flare a star a moonbeam
all the rarest things
here

here I accept her bright her smile
her heat her heart glare
her touch a soft warming
confidence

all woman
all stars
all earthy knowing
all rarer than any
diamond

I take it
I bask I glow I become more
than what I was
before she dawned crested
smiled that beginning at me

I bow I pray I thank
every god I know
praise her
she is rare
she is precious

she is now
everything