These are the events that occurred on October 2nd, 2015
these are the facts, the series of events from start to finish
sadly, it's my fault... she's just another excuse
love is meaningless without a hurt to give it life
without the pain of their absence, the sting of watching them go
she draws analogies to a virus I once had
she reopened the injuries of one before her
one that I blamed for too many of my disabilities
but let's stop there, another confession for another time
let's get back to this one
stay with me... I know it's a lot to take in

Well, it was my birthday, and I knew I'd be miserable
so I planned accordingly, what happened happened
I didn't know what to expect, so I expected the worst
something felt off that evening, we both felt it
sadly no one else did, they let us suffer
hell, they couldn't even remember my ******* birthday
what a moment, what a memory to share
when those whom you believe in most, stop believing in you
so I stumbled out without saying a word of goodbye
out into the night of my birth, wanting to die
then the phone rang, as it always did in my worst moments
but it wasn't them, it was you
seriously? did your ****-His-Life-Again radar just start pinging?
the most twisted thing, is she's not nearly as evil as she leads on
it's 70% *******, and I always knew it, its part of what I liked about her
she was covering up as much as I was, it was a secret that bonded and broke us
we were both ****** up, but for different reasons

Behind the scenes, the young damaged darling crept out
along came a spider, crawled up inside her, now her heart was a festering wound
try as I may I could never stop the bleeding
and the pain only numbs when she's hurting someone else
I was a closet *******, so we fit really well... at first
but I got tired of palming a blade in bed so, you know
I must've been pretty out of it for you to talk me into it
not the first time, not the last time either, just easier to forget
I had escaped you, I was free of your grasp
had moved on, found someone better for me
someone who didn't try to make me into something else
you never knew how to take no for an answer
once you smelled the blood on my tongue...
TRUST, you don't need to remind me of all the mistakes
I'm very aware of everyone you know about, and everyone you don't
but to taste you again, feel you again,
to feel what I once felt before
I was weak, and I wanted, I wanted to... Feel
we picked up right where we always left off, naked and angry
it was through you I learned the difference between *******, and making love
where I learned the difference between love and... whatever we were
I spent more time naked with you than any other person in my life
and not just the **** times
I shared everything with you, things I couldn't afford to give away
so EXCUSE ME if it's a little difficult to get over it
not that I'm not the guilty party here, but accessory much?
so once again you got the best of me
so good ******* riddance, pardon my bitterness
because I haven't found anyone better since
and it's starting to worry me that I never will
I guess that's the price of vengeance - a whole lot of anger, a whole lot of nothing
you were my most heartbreaking fourth quarter
and my heart breaks, because you won't say anything
I was a quick fix, an asset
and you'd just wipe away the blood, and walk away,
pretend it never happened
yet your name's still tattooed on my shoulder
I'll always love her, and I'll always hate her for that
and with that, another chapter closes, yet no end in sight.

you know what's ****** up? My mom reads these...

“To be 21 and wild again
To be hopeful, and feral
And bright and wild eyed again…
To feel the passion of youth, the spring of energy,
To feel untouchable, to feel in front of the line
With the whole world in front of you again
Oh, to be 21 and alive again, to be free again…”
Except, we weren’t
Remember those days, and the games we’d play?
Life was so simple, we felt so brave
How quickly it passed us by, how cute when we tried to hold on tight
Then you proposed the crime of the ages
“Let’s just not grow up?”
Her bold rebellious attitude was just the tip of the iceberg that sunk me
Her curly brown hair made her look much younger, like me
It bounced around her face, made her look innocent
She had a button nose, with a dimple on either side
Her blue eyes radiant with life
Her girlish charm held back a monster worse than mine
She’s pretty ****** up, and there’s a lot of reasons why
Of course I saw that as a bonus, to find someone as dangerous as me
The fact that you liked my music steadily turned me on
But it quickly got dangerous
Soon I was in over my head
Oh you evil taunting cupid and your poisonous arrows…
If a full moon and an Indian Summer had a baby,
They would name it YOU
And I fell hard, head first and almost broke my arms
Just a drop of happiness, and I’d fight the world for you
We wanted it, not for them, but for us, for the rest of our lives
Every time we got back together, we thought it was forever, so we never asked why
We were both lonely, I took refuge inside of you
We were both very broken
It wasn’t that we mended each other,
It was more like our broken pieces fit really well together
But we never got better, we loved the broken versions too much
We cherished our tragedies, relished in our dramedies
I just wasn’t ready to handle such a fight
You just weren’t mature enough to understand the message

She’s already a distant memory, already too far gone
Only trophies and bruises remain
Her lipstick still stains the glass
I keep it as a trophy in the back of the cupboard
Less as a memory, more like a hunting trophy
Lesson learned, now I know better
I write that line to make you think I’m not into you
But really I couldn’t stop thinking about every bit of you
And how I know it’s not fate or misguided
I wanted to run away with you, pleaded with you
“All I know is somewhere beyond those tracks is where you and I live on,
The music is our train ride the hell out of here…”
I’m clear headed now
And the next time you feel the need to call me after 3, don’t
And don’t you call me “honey”, “dear”, or “darling” again
They’ve all been retired and overplayed
They leave me with a sour after break deep inside
Tell me again how this is best for both of us
How you did this for my sake, not just yours
And that I’m better off without you
Now the darkness has become my friend,
And you want me to keep you safe?
Fear not, for I would never let them hurt you
But we will never share the moonlight again
Now, you’re too weak for me, and I got plans to be
I’ve got a world to meet, now it’s you’re turn to watch
You did a bang up job making me feel welcome
Now I’ve got dibs on the good bye
I’ll wear the scars for you, they look better on me any way
We may have outgrown the lyrics, but not the meaning
The songs still haunt me, still mean so much to me
I fear they’ll follow me to my grave
Bury me beneath the tree where we first met,
At least my bones will rest young and happy
Love can really ******* up, you know
Here’s to hoping your arms are open, when I finally fall

Your first mistake was assuming you were crazier than me
My mistake was hoping her crazy was my crazy
Her smile reminded me of someone, should’ve scared me, but it didn’t
And why did she keep throwing it my way?
I was two years younger, nothing special, and she was married…
She’d wear these broken eyes of cracked amber that reflected the Sun
Pull you inside to cold, moonless nights
She gave just enough to miss it, just enough to want more
A simple drop, a tease on the tongue
She was small, but far from delicate
Young, but far from innocent
A stolen kiss is the sweetest thing
A secret show is even more exciting when he’s not home
I watched at first, too drunk to move, as she danced with her dog,
Surrounding her was this aura, this bubble of innocence
A little girl playing with her fur child
Until she caught me spying on her, and a devilish smile gave me chills
I always fall for the forbidden ones, don’t I?
She was on top of me faster than I could say adultery
But she waited until we were both naked before threatening my silence
That night in itself was an adventure, but it was just beginning
One night in drunken lust turned to weekly bedroom confessions
An unhappy marriage, an unhappy home
I’ll show you my scars if you stop parading yours
“Darling, I’m too broken for you to mend.”
So we started spilling war stories
And you offered me the job of being your secret boy toy
Well weren’t you full of broken promises
She was my perfect type of crazy, I just wasn’t hers
You know the truth deep down. You and me?
We were over due for a catastrophe
******* wasn’t the danger, feeling was the danger
Our fist kiss was soaked in tears, it was one of the happier nights then
All I felt was separated from everyone else, and you made me feel less alone
But it was just something you said out loud to feel less like a criminal
“You know sometimes I don’t think you really care about me.”
Why should I? When I needed you, you weren’t
I was your convenient escape, you were the one that always ran away
You were never happy with your life, but you were too afraid to live any way else
“She’s putting on that make up for somebody, and it isn’t you.”
Two people knew of our rendezvous, and they called me so stupid
And they were right, as I was always wrong
Oh, you really care about me? Want me to be happy?
“He’s posting songs about suicide again…
should one of us go check on our ‘friend’?”
your late night charity work only made my situation worse
“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here”
STOP THE PRESSES! SHE HAS FEELINGS!
*******.
I think she got enough mistakes out of me
She’d already had her fill before she met me
Then I realized, it was always gonna end badly
Your spewed venom’s incredibly undesired,
But Hell knows its nothing short of reasonable
For the second time, I was at your mercy for my mistakes
The one thing I swore I wouldn’t do again
Turn around and run to you
How about something for the effort?
A little consolation prize for all we’ve been through?
Your lopsided thoughts keep me up at night
Your hypocrisy blows my mind, I’ve known some shady nymphos
But you, sweetie baby? You take the cake
Oh faithless, furious fortune, what did I do to deserve this?
Now you see why I have trust issues
I’m so glad it didn’t work, for once I didn’t have to learn the hard way
Life just pulled me aside and said, “Nope, not her.”
I realized, she doesn’t deserve that many pages in my story
She’ll always be there, no matter how much I hide it
The ink will always run deep.
Feel free to blame me for the rest of your life, you already do,
And I’ll be your excuse, it was all my fault all along
But you and I will know the truth, I will take it to my grave
Now you’re one of my good memories, which is all kinds of ****** up
But she’s gone, and I’m better for it
She only belongs in those early chapters
The epilogue is for me, and the next book after that
Sometimes, holding on does more damage than letting go

I once believed you to be royalty, oh, the irony
Oh best believe,
That queen of mine? An Icy queen
Embracing calamity religiously
She kept a diary of bad ideas, most of them involving me
Love was never your problem
No, it was the trail of severed organs that followed you the **** around
I use to laugh whenever her hair got caught in her horns
Until one day she got mad and tore at my wings
I was far from Heaven Born
But compared to her, I was an angel
Possessed, from her head to her thighs
In my experience girls from that part of town
Didn’t have much back bone
Held too close as little ones
“It’s wise to stay away”, they would say
But she had these eyes
To blink was to do them injustice
They were on fire
They had back lighting
And a sound system
Her smile screamed evil
But those eyes looked like a roller coaster
They made my mouth water at the possibilities
Made my face red, made my knees week
At first her crazy was welcomed
A new challenge, a new adventure
Her insanity turned me the Hell on
But it didn’t take long to see it was but a taste
The more I welcomed, the crazier she became
The rabbit hole was deep, dark, and filled with thorns
Soon her childlike attitude revealed her serial killer nature
“I swear, I just wanna cuddle,”
You said as you wrapped your hands around my neck
Burned my arms with cigarettes
Id wake up deep within the night
And find you glowing, naked in the Marlboro light
Just before you plunged it into my thigh
It wasn’t love, it was an obstacle course
A bad trip, a worse come down
A pain that lasted for days
That drove me to the break
If I had a dime for every time
You held a razor to my eyes
and whispered “This won’t hurt a bit…”
Every so often I’d come to my senses
And hit the ejection button
A quick escape
To remind me what normal felt like
Pardon our abrupt, and violent ending
I needed an excuse to wake the **** up
Run the **** away,
And never see you again
You gave me everyone I never wanted to meet
A dozen different sides to your coin
And every time I saw the light and ran
You’d punish me still
Every time I left, the kissing booth reopened
Above it read, “Help Me Make Him Miserable,
Help Me Break His Heart,”
I’d ask her why
And she’d slap the **** out of me
As if my broken heart was an insult to her
My insulting humanity an attack on her insanity
How dare I find offense in her abuse
How dare I fight her assault
To see myself as a human worthy of freedom
What insult to want to be loved without fear
She never really let me go
For too long after she held my number hostage
Leaving horror movie voice mails
Kidnapped an innocent part of me
Torturing it whenever she got bored
And calling me so I could listen to it
She would sing songs in her messages
******* acapellas that celebrated her madness
The soundtrack to a horror film
The little girl in white
Jumping rope in you’re nightmares
“You’ll never get rid of me…”
You’re right, I won’t
You’ll forever be a lesson in how never to be
“Imagine me and you…”
I do,
I hate you for it every time,
And every night,
I think about the girl you were
Out of her mind
So happy without you…
“Baby, we could’ve been something”
Yeah I know
It scares the living **** out of me
I gave up everything that hurts, including you
Never again will I let you hold my breath
You’re nothing to me but another dead relationship
That stinks no matter how much concrete I pour on it

One time, Monopoly got ******
Of all the board games, not the one you’d expect to get x rated
Hungry Hippos seems more ******
Or holdem, or Don’t Wake Daddy
Although that one would be pretty ****** up
But anything’s ****** when you have a woman like that as admin
She’ll turn morning cartoons into a pornhub episode
She hass a vendetta against the boring normal
The color of her hair matched the fire in her eyes
The curves of her hips matched the fury that moved them
As ruthless as she was beautiful
Yet her armor was breaking, I could see many dents and cracks
But she brushed it off, and just looked at me with a sinister face
Her fingers danced across the board
Her body moved to the music in the background
She’d lick her fingers before grabbing a card
Everything she did was planned
She knew I was watching
I knew she was in control
She’d lean over the table to expose beneath her shirt
And if her piece, ended up near my end of the board?
The torture began
And she started dancing around my mind
Her *** was center stage
Her body filled with my fantasies
I was her leftover toy
And she loved treating me like a board game
Something to toss around for fun
Her sinister intentions made my face red
I was an experiment that she treated like pre funding
I was not a person, I was a subject
Her target, her new trophie
She was clearly into abuse
I don’t judge fantasies, but dayum
I melted in her hand
She turned it up to eleven
I stopped paying attention to the game
And she started winning
“I own that property, now you owe me something…”
I look at her dumbfounded
Her leg brushes mine, and she reveals a ***** little secret
Something she’s not wearing underneath
I hear her mom doing dishes in the kitchen
I look at her with doubt
She smiles like a movie villain
And bites her tongue with evil excitement
She dances on my tongue like champagne bubbles
Her fingers dance like a spider across my leg
And it doesn’t even creep me out
She uses her tongue like a toothbrush
She grabs me so hard I lose my breath
Forces my hands onto her
I hear her mother’s footsteps
“You can’t be serious…” I whisper
“It’s more fun this way” she giggles gleefully
She pulls away just as her mother enters the room
She tells her mom we have to leave for a study group
We leave the game unfinished
She grabs the stick shift with her hand, and my ear with her teeth
She whispers, “Let’s get crazy tonight…”

Our relationship, our rendezvous, began more innocent than most,
We were teenagers, we were harmless, nothing sinister about us
Just looking for a way to break the boredom
It began before we were capable of such sinister selfish thought
Before she was looking for something more dangerous
Before I was looking for another easy exit
There were moments where my intentions were less than honorable
Yet little ever came from it
Even then I understood control, understood direction
Our would be sins were regrettable, never forgettable
I warned you from the beginning, I was something a little different
A troubled boy with a troubled past,
A damaged heart, leftover by a damaged girl
She was the love I should’ve realized when I still had a heart
When I still had love to give
I thought I was still salvageable
But I didn’t hide the damage
I plainly stated “Heavily used and abused, 50 % off”
And I read her clearly the disclaimer across my chest
“Sunshine, I’m the thunderstorm here to rain on your parade,
Babygirl, I’m the kind of boy you need to be afraid of
I’m the devil in wolf’s clothing
Run before I sink my teeth in, and bleed your neck dry
But she had a storm of her own
And she swept me up like a hurricane
And when her eyes met mine, I swear lightning struck
Your kiss like a rogue wave, your heart like thunder
The rain on the window, your head on my shoulder
And then we Titanic’d the windows
We sauna’d the backseats  
We did it, with a capital DID IT
She wrapped her arms around me
And my wooden heart started to crack
And I even started to feel human again
She’d hug me, and I thought I’d might feel sane again
But I wasn’t okay, and it was obvious
Suffering from Post Traumatic Love Disorder
Yeah it’s ******* cheesy, but I like how it sounded
And I was fishing for an excuse
Hunting for an excuse to blame you for her sins
Because when you’re sick, you pass it on
You don’t mean or want to, but misery loves company
I started pointing fingers, and laying blame wherever you walked
I made it hard to love me, hard to like me
One day you had enough and politely screamed “Why…”
I replied “Because I hold grudges, and I don’t care,”
After a few weeks, neither did you
Your bad habits would stink up your bedroom, and mine
You gave me the rope to hang us both
I had all the evidence to execute us
I branded you a witch and me a demon
And burned us both
I left you to rot, and for that I will never forgive us
The pain I know you feel makes me scream and cry
Wish I could take it all, if only to see you smile
I hate myself for leaving, because we’ll never be the same
How dare I leave when I had so much left to say
If being me is such a crime, you never told me
I never asked to be this lonely
But I did force you out
Our failure is my fault only
Now when I’m with her, I think of you
And I hate you for that
You never gave me a chance t be better than him
You never gave me a chance to be good enough
One chance could have been enough
You could have been my everything
I would have given you everything
Now to humble me,
I am forced to witness an eternal insult
A most beautiful, ****, powerful woman
Who could have been a queen
Forever betrothed to a fool.
Now, my heart only beats for war
Like when I burned our castle down

It was a summer of mad mistakes and river crossings
Still young enough to not care about our futures
Yet old enough to know who to blame for our failures
Reckless birthdays, lethal college incursions, weekend exclusives
We stopped searching for answers and began hunting for prizes
In the midst of another wrestling match with the establishment,
We found ourselves stranded out in the heat of summer
And a familiar voice called out from the past
My name echoed across the humidity
I noticed her long legs before anything else, they were hard to miss
Her blond hair shimmered in the tiki torches, her eyes wrapped in black
It was an unexpected reunion, and we did not complain
A plot twist I never imagined, but welcomed with open arms
The kind of surprise I was excited to be surprised about, and I hate surprises
A turn that makes a bad movie suddenly interesting
An antagonist from the first Act, who returns from the dead to help the good guys
She was the punch line to a night of glorious mistakes
The cherry on top… and on bottom (we were both flexible in terms of analogies)
As were we passionate, and in need of something romantic, and *****
And it worked in both of our favors, and we took advantage of each other’s position
And it was glorious. We were glorious
It was a time when I was lonely enough to look for answers, but not so lonely
that I would lock my years away in solitude yet. Opportunity was still on my side  
I was still young enough to hope for the future
She was on a vendetta for a reason why her last relationship ended so badly
Looking for someone other than herself to blame,
To take the rage out on another unsuspecting body
And I was always looking for the next fight
And thus we both played ******* for the first hour or so
Followed by a game of “Hard-to-get” the next
By the third hour the liquid courage had peeled back some of our layers,
And we started to open up, recapping the gap in years since we last had saw each other
Turned out, our paths were more parallel than we’d thought
We were holding similar pains behind our bad boy and girl personas
I was amazed to find beneath it all the same girl I remembered last
Still a good girl despite all she’d been through, still an angel despite her horns
And she smiled when she realized despite all my misfortunes,
There was still a bit of the little wanna be bad boy from our teenage rebellions
We were still the ones we were into so many years ago
It scared us I think, because the next hour was spent on opposite sides of the front yard
There was fear in both our eyes, we were revealing too much way too early
Suddenly the walls went up, we both began to stutter even the easiest words
Pretending we weren’t constantly looking over our shoulders at each other
I was into her more than ever, and all I wanted was to tell her
But now I was afraid to say anything to her, terrified I’d scare her away
I’d rather wonder what if then hate myself for blowing it
But every minute I checked to see if she was still alone

When I saw her sitting cross legged on the driveway,
I knew I it was time to confess to her
So I approached as honestly as I could, and she knew I wasn’t playing with her
When she asked to share a smoke, I knew it was certain
I sat across from her the same way, and the game began
It was equal parts flirting and insulting, poking and prodding for any falsehoods
And the harder we looked, the harder we fell
We were suddenly lost, and for the first and only time,
It felt like freedom. The chemical madness overcame us, and set us free
Gods didn’t have such freedom
We could feel the eyes upon us, we were the secret attraction of the night
It made it even more devious, and we played to their jealousy
Let them watch, let them burn with envy at the two star crossed lovers in the driveway
We had been making out so long, we hadn’t noticed our audience had disappeared
Those who didn’t leave or go to sleep had made their way to the backyard
We could hear laughter… and splashing?
“Are they ******* swimming right now?”
We slipped through the gate to find a testosterone fest beneath the water
Obviously we weren’t gonna let them have all the fun, so we stripped down and dove in
And were greeted with a rather awkward situation
One of the boys noticed our swim suits with disappointment
“Wait, do you guys still have clothes on?”
“… You don’t?”
We were bold, but we hadn’t prepared for that
We politely refused, we had our own game to play
Still we joined in the tidal wave contest amongst one another
Splashing like children at summer camp
One by one the boys surrendered to their exhaustion
Until we were all alone
Suddenly I noticed she looked even better without her clothes
She was wearing all black lace, like the liner around her eyes
Which were daring me to make a move
I pulled her close and she pulled at my boxers
And we both smiled like criminals after a bank heist…

Gynecologist Warning: *** in the pool is dangerous and increases the risks of contracting an STD, as well as potentially damaging the walls of the reproductive organs

The dance is more fun when it’s dangerous… but that’s just my opinion.
Plus it was her idea, and it was pretty awesome
It wasn’t my first rodeo underwater, but it was certainly the best
Particularly when it’s not your pool…
Our only regret was probably that we should’ve started about an hour or so earlier
*** in the pool at night is exciting… *** in the pool at sunrise is asking for it
*** outdoors can go from romantic to perverse once the lights are turned on
And the neighbors would never forgive us if we were the sugar to their morning coffee
So we bolted for the back door, leaving our undergarments behind in the pool
We found an open couch in the abandoned basement, and threw a blanket over each other
We only stopped laughing to kiss again, and our hands refused to let go
It was like we forgot we were naked in someone else’s home
Or knew **** well, and were turned on even more because of it
Nothing mattered beyond the blankets
Nothing mattered but her smile and mine
And everything beneath them
I don’t know when we finally quit, but it was long after the sun had risen
And only after we were too exhausted to kiss any longer
I woke up alone, bare as Adam beneath the covers
Exhausted and exposed, yet nothing close to loneliness
For a moment I felt like a king in a conquered land
I laid back with my arms behind my head
And exhaled with a satisfaction I hadn’t felt in forever
And then the nearest door creaked open,
And the matron of the house entered my throne…
The blanket did little to hide my terror
And the realization of my exposed predicament
“Oh! Morning Karl, would you like some breakfast?”

I knew she was out of my league
She was on another level
She was on another wavelength
I was Pony league, she was pro
I was amateur, she was celebrity
She was better looking, more experienced
She was more woman than I was man
She was a ghetto goddess
I was a dork
She was used to guys who beat up guys like me
I was used to girls who wore pink nail polish
The thought of even knowing her never even crossed my mind
Like it was even possible
Yet there we were, alone together,
In a ****** room at a ****** party,
And you thought I was just cute enough
You gave me your number, then demanded mine
This chick made me wish I was anyone but me
Someone more badass, more debonair
She was everything intimidating,
Too much woman for most men, more manly than some men
And for some reason, she wanted me
Our first date, her choice – a pool hall.
She schooled me on the man’s game
Our second date, her choice – Six Flags.
She only wanted to try the scary rides
Each date made me feel less worthy
Yet still she wanted me
Our third date was at her mother’s house
She made me dinner
She made me pasta, my favorite
And then we went to the bassment for a game of pool
Because she was that badass
Halfway into the game. She learned her mother would be gone for the night
So she grabbed a Billy Idol record, and started “Rebel Yell”
Like it was her anthem
As it began to play she said,
“If you can’t make this ******* needle skip, you ain’t hitting it right”
And she took off her shirt
And I almost cried with delight
No one had ever talked ***** to me before
Only in ****** had I seen such scenes like this
Now I was in one
And it was loud and rough, and wet and wild,
It was dangerous, it was merciless
It was a boy’s dream, it was a man’s heaven
Round One was on the pool table
We ripped the clothing from out bodies
Stripes and solids bounced off the floor
Tongues and arms spread across the table
She was a loud lover, and I loved it
Her legs wrapped around my neck
Her hands clinging to the pockets
Like I was the hero in an action film
Breaking the rules, banging the hottest woman
I was a seventeen year old MAN
(Oh and old Billy didn’t make it to the second chorus,
I made that needle skip)
Round Two was in her bedroom
She changed uniforms, into a pink lace shirt
That neither covered up, nor hid anything
Instead, it somehow made her even sexier
And the battle raged on
Into the night, and the morning beyond
The bed was soaked and stained
She flopped on top of me  with a slap of our sweaty skin
And I wore her like a trophy
As we both gasped for air,
I stuttered, “ I could get use to nights like this…”
And she turned to me, and we locked eyes,
“Nah, you’re not angry enough in bed for me.”
“I didn’t know we were suppose to be angry in bed.”
“Yeah, that’s why I usually date older guys...
They’re much more violent in bed… but this was okay.”
You know what’s worst than a bad *****?
A good ***** with a bad ending.

The night I had her was the night I lost her
Our first night, was our last night
It was I who ended it the first time
I did the unthinkable
I chose my happiness over hers
I chose dreams
But now I was looking for a second chance
Oh, but she had other plans,
This wasn't a new beginning, but a final end
For the record, she was one of the best
And I pushed her away
And second chances don't always work
Especially one sided ones
But I'm an optimistic when it comes to unrealistic hopes
To me, her yes meant more than just a date
To me, it meant she saw me as more than a once upon a time
And for once, I was ready to make the jump again

Dinner was cordial, but the messages were clear
We were both hungry, and not for the food
I took the check and we hit the road
But where to go?
Destiny, it seems wanted us to dance
My phone began to tickle my pants
A friend close by
"Drinks and games tonight?"
I looked in her eyes, they lit up with delight
"Let's have a few, and have some fun"
I hit the gas like an action movie
We flew through the polite introductions
And the beer began to flow
By round three I couldn't keep my hands off her
And she seemed not to mind
By midnight we were covered in smiles
Dancing and touching beneath the spotlight of the old suburban garage
She breathed her breath into mine
Pulled me close and whispered
"Let's get out of here,"
The goodbyes were quick as we ran for the door,
Plowed through the snow and dove into the car
As the Chevy warmed up, so too did we
Our hands and lips protected each other from the cold
I readied the car to leave, but she stopped me cold
and cooked me in her arms
"Take your pants off, NOW"

In school, "******" was as bad as "*****"
It had been raining, I had been heart broken
The night was cold, it was almost Fall
My birthday was in the Fall, soon I'd be seventeen
I'd be seventeen, and still a ******
I may have broke it off, but she's the one who ended it
I may have been dumb, but she was unfaithful
Thus I ran, and dove into her arms
I knew she was older, she knew I was younger
She was lonely, looking for fun
I was lost, looking for a new rush
My face was red, I had been drinking
Her lips were red, she had been hunting
I found a corner to hide, but she smelled blood
Her eyes drilled into mine, she licked her lips and breathed fire
My legs started to shake, my lips started to quiver
She came like a viper, she slithered toward me
Hypnotized by her hips, my mouth watered at her *******
She sat on my lap, and looked me up and down
"You looked lonely," she said, "I think you're cute."
Boy was I, lonely that is, she took my beer and took a sip
Her perfume smelled like fruit, her breath smelled like candy
The warmth from her legs met mine, and my cheeks turned the color of her lips
My heart was dancing, her eyes were twinkling
She took me prisoner, and dragged me upstairs
She slammed the door and sealed my fate
Her smile was devious, her smell so sweet
Her hands on my belt, her tongue on my teeth
She kidnapped me beneath the sheets, she made me her prisoner of war
And I waved the red flag, I was ready for war
I wanted war, I wanted you
I wanted her, I wanted it, I wanted the badge
She dug her nails in my skin, I dug my teeth into hers
Our clothes took themselves off, her thong was black lace
She devoured me, I penetrated her
We danced, we kissed, we wrestled and sang
... And then it was over
It was over in twenty minutes
This veil of innocence that we chastised
That we mock and rush to throw away
Is so easily thrown away
But those twenty minutes were amazing, although I probably wasn't
She knew it was my first time, she called me out
"You're a ******," she said, "Don't tell me you're not."
Embarrassed I countered, "I'm also not eighteen."
She gasped in horror, and stormed out of the room
In her speed to grab her clothes, she'd forgotten to tell me her name
And to this day, I still don't know it.