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Sep 2018
Our relationship, our rendezvous, began more innocent than most,
We were teenagers, we were harmless, nothing sinister about us
Just looking for a way to break the boredom
It began before we were capable of such sinister selfish thought
Before she was looking for something more dangerous
Before I was looking for another easy exit
There were moments where my intentions were less than honorable
Yet little ever came from it
Even then I understood control, understood direction
Our would be sins were regrettable, never forgettable
I warned you from the beginning, I was something a little different
A troubled boy with a troubled past,
A damaged heart, leftover by a damaged girl
She was the love I should’ve realized when I still had a heart
When I still had love to give
I thought I was still salvageable
But I didn’t hide the damage
I plainly stated “Heavily used and abused, 50 % off”
And I read her clearly the disclaimer across my chest
“Sunshine, I’m the thunderstorm here to rain on your parade,
Babygirl, I’m the kind of boy you need to be afraid of
I’m the devil in wolf’s clothing
Run before I sink my teeth in, and bleed your neck dry
But she had a storm of her own
And she swept me up like a hurricane
And when her eyes met mine, I swear lightning struck
Your kiss like a rogue wave, your heart like thunder
The rain on the window, your head on my shoulder
And then we Titanic’d the windows
We sauna’d the backseats  
We did it, with a capital DID IT
She wrapped her arms around me
And my wooden heart started to crack
And I even started to feel human again
She’d hug me, and I thought I’d might feel sane again
But I wasn’t okay, and it was obvious
Suffering from Post Traumatic Love Disorder
Yeah it’s ******* cheesy, but I like how it sounded
And I was fishing for an excuse
Hunting for an excuse to blame you for her sins
Because when you’re sick, you pass it on
You don’t mean or want to, but misery loves company
I started pointing fingers, and laying blame wherever you walked
I made it hard to love me, hard to like me
One day you had enough and politely screamed “Why…”
I replied “Because I hold grudges, and I don’t care,”
After a few weeks, neither did you
Your bad habits would stink up your bedroom, and mine
You gave me the rope to hang us both
I had all the evidence to execute us
I branded you a witch and me a demon
And burned us both
I left you to rot, and for that I will never forgive us
The pain I know you feel makes me scream and cry
Wish I could take it all, if only to see you smile
I hate myself for leaving, because we’ll never be the same
How dare I leave when I had so much left to say
If being me is such a crime, you never told me
I never asked to be this lonely
But I did force you out
Our failure is my fault only
Now when I’m with her, I think of you
And I hate you for that
You never gave me a chance t be better than him
You never gave me a chance to be good enough
One chance could have been enough
You could have been my everything
I would have given you everything
Now to humble me,
I am forced to witness an eternal insult
A most beautiful, ****, powerful woman
Who could have been a queen
Forever betrothed to a fool.
Now, my heart only beats for war
Like when I burned our castle down
Kyle D.
Kyle Dal Santo
Written by
Kyle Dal Santo  M/Los Angeles-Chicago
(M/Los Angeles-Chicago)   
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