I'm not pretty but that is what they say
Do not believe yet still I reply "okay"
I have cuts across my heart
Sorrow portrayed as a work of art
I'm always sleeping in late
Life lived in a foggy state
Dark circles rest on face
I've had plenty hours
In dreamland dancing barefoot picking flowers
Permanently bitter due to much neglect
Too far gone for innocence to ever ressurect
I'm too cynical to let anyone near
Not warm enough so people disappear
And I cannot fathom why anyone would stay
It's no surprise when good things slip away
I fake laughter to disuassade any concern
Joy is a blessing for which I desperately yearn
But in conversation I act like I am fine
Do very best not to reveal a single sign
I wear dark eyeliner to match my point of view  
Even black isn't quite enough to mimic the hue
Because insecurities constantly bring me down
Erasing smile then replacing with frown
I self isolate
I know deep inside
Loved ones would be better off if I died

It sure was a strange sensation
Loneliness struck like ice
There can't possibly be justification
Putting me through this twice

With one highway between us
Never seemed so long
Steel door is locked leading to trust
It is unbreakable and strong

Every time walk the line
Carefully between give and take
I would stand up for myself if I had a spine
Order to clean up messes you make

Fear keeping paralyzed
Cannot move or make a sound
About time I realized
No longer want me around

I do not blame you for leaving
Understand why you bid me goodbye
I would not be with me either
If wearing your shoes instead of mine

Sometimes regret past decisions
That never lasts for long
If I would have changed them
Could turn out even more wrong

You are not faultless though
Bear your fair share of mistakes
Both contributed to downfall
With messes each of us makes

Have no clue how it happened
Cannot pinpoint source
Of relationship's demise
Still fills me with remorse

To relive one day with you
When we were at our very best
Would give up everything
To again lay my head on your chest

Be energy responsible
For making world go round
It will never be that way again
Pieces fallen to the ground

Gone are the plans we made
Promises
Dreams had
Swept away with the wind
All I own now is my pen and pad

To soothe pain I write it down
Words can't take it away
Like an infected cut memory festers
Just grow more used to it each day

Come to realization
You do not need me anymore
Better off without me
And the life built before

Back when first falling in love
Felt too good to be true
Perfection may have been real
Ended too soon as good things do

And I wanted badly to believe
All those precious words you said
Ignored my rationality
Listened to my heart instead

I was convinced we were meant to be
My search was permanently done
Although you no longer feel the same
To me you will always be 'the one'

It's better to love and lose
Than never to love at all
Even with the agony inside
Still grateful it was you I fell for Paul