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 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
Confused by quickness
That with surroundings changed
In less than a year
Life has rearranged

I retrace footsteps
Leading me here
Before I figure it out
Snows and they disappear

All I am sure of
Is you are gone
It's some other girl
Being strung along

You promised me forever
Until feelings declined
Guess your infinity
Was smaller than mine
Some infinites are bigger than other infinites
She bid me a fond farewell
Said she’d kiss and tell
Just to see me sweat and squirm
She wasn’t very nice
But I was still enticed
And wasn’t all that too concerned
She had no valid proof
Must be she’s aloof
All while driving over bridges that she burned
 Jul 2021
Jellyfish
You hide the truth.
Everything you say to me
feels like glue.
I get stuck in it
and don't know what to do...
I always end up finding out the truth,
just not from you.
You lie to me, intentionally or not, you hide the truth. It shocks me like a broken wire, it makes me feel like I'm on fire. I don't know how to be around you and not feel used up.
 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I am not sure which words to say
Many thoughts crowding my head
And pride plus fear get in the way
I stay silent instead

In no hurry to lay heart bare
Each time I've done it before
Sentences hung suspended in air
You smacked them down to the floor

You don't have the strength or sensitivity
To face truth and come to grips
This time what I'm longing to set free
Remains barricaded behind closed lips
So sick of repeating the same scenarios. When will I finally learn? My effort is pointless when it comes to you...
 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I thought I mattered to you
That there still was something left to save
Scared of life without your presence
Have no choice but be brave

You've made pretty evident
I am no longer what you desire
Wish I knew how you did it
So I also extinguish my fire

You do seem happier
What I want the most
Even if meaning you can only exist
In world as a translucent ghost

Bleeding out until heart's out of blood
Hoping you see
How I care and love you so
Everything you once loved about me

What we had was messy
The one thing I know is that it was true
When I look into your eyes today
Glimpse a sliver of the person I knew

But know things have changed since then
I have made a lot of mistakes
Wish I could take some of it back
No such thing as double takes

Starting to realize our time
Finally has drawn to an end
A portion of me would rather say no
Instead just play pretend

We only get so many chances
Never sure which one is last
Until it is too late and everything you need
Becomes part of the past

The scars left on my feelings
Cause me pain to this day
No matter how long spent apart
Damage determined to stay

We blame ourselves for struggles
Maybe that isn't fair
It is destiny's fault
Creating this nightmare

It seems real this time
You never are coming back
Try to hide my sorrow
I am always wearing black
I call the shade my heart is currently wearing "mourning black"
 Jul 2021
Brett
The sunset awakens the lonely dreamer,
Who gives no deference to the day.
Early mornings meet late nights on a one-way street and,
A late June crescent moon
Becomes a suitable seat,
To watch the world spin below my feet.  
I cast a kiss from way on high and,
Watch the wind carry my intentions
To the window of her bedroom.
It doesn’t stop and stare, it changes its shape.
The bluest of birds; perched, sings for her to wake
From the silence of her sleep, where somewhere down deep
I imagine that,
She was thinking of me. The lake through the trees
Where we waded waist deep, skipping our stones, together alone.
River of souls, to wither we go.
Lost love lingers like a loose thread on your favorite blanket.
 Jun 2021
SCHEDAR
She weaves worry
forming a fabric
that interlaces dread
a craft created by the
aberration of a single
vulnerable thread
 Jun 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I paint me a smile

But today my made-up colors smudge

You can see frown visible underneath

Dim
Distressed
And too distorted to hide
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay while
-Adam Levine (from Maroon 5)
 May 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I miss you all hours of the day
More throughout long nights
Curled up next to somebody else
It just doesn't feel right
I lie awake for an eternity
Memories in my head
Wishing it was me there with you
Instead of her beside you in bed
When finally my mind drifts off
Expecting sleep to bring relief
It is a blessing and a curse
You always haunt my dreams
Sigh
 May 2021
ardnaxela
Soft cries -
dreadful token.
Harsh lies -
misspoken.
True friends -
except imposing.
Inequality -
overloading.
Pain-killers -
microdosing.
Brought up
heart-broken.
Love dies -
however,

Still hoping.
edited and reposted from April 2019 because current circumstances have expressed a need..
 May 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
If we were kids again
This time I'd love you right
I was so much happier then
Filled with warmth and light

You were the sunshine illuminating my sky
Permanent smile on my lips
Looking back it makes me cry
The way I watched your love eclipse

Loved you unconditionally
Which means that I still do
Although you no longer feel the same about me
Can't control how I feel about you

You and I were water and fire
Together we both made steam
But it wasn't just lustful passion or desire
It was everything I'd ever dreamed

Why do all good things have to end?
You were there by me through the worst
Not only my partner
Also my best friend
I tripped and fell for you headfirst

Shouldn't have let you slip away
Made sure my grip was tight
Done more to make you want to stay
Put up an even bigger fight

I tried my best to change your mind
Make you see that I'm the one
But I guess I was a step behind
Because you were already done

I won't beg for you like you did me
Instead gracefully let you go
If you love something you set it free
Though it kills me to do so

For your happiness is all I want
I yearn to hear your laughter
Even if that means viewing you flaunt
Your new happy ever after

You may not deserve it
But I am glad for you all the same
I understand why you chose to quit
We both are equally to blame

I long to scrub your name from my skull
Or to hate you for breaking my heart
But I can't shake the magnetic pull
Hypnotizing me from the start

You don't have to say a word
Know me all too well
All it takes is a touch
It's absurd
And I am put under a spell

I don't know why you do this
Waste my time with games and lies
Heal wounds you inflict with a kiss
Why bother to apologize?

Wear me out while leading me on
Too exhausted to stand
Then after completing a marathon
Without reason suddenly disband/
Don't even offer a helping hand

You just leave me heaving on the ground
Out of time and out of breath
Without looking back or turning around
Not caring about my life or death

You keep me on the back burner
Explain how that is fair
I may not be the fastest learner
But I'm not totally unaware

Yet despite your blatant neglect
I remained steadfast through the tears
When arguing showed each other disrespect
But we lasted many long years

You didn't take life too seriously
In contrast to my heavy heart
We balanced each other perfectly
Relationship a work of art

The joy was worth the suffering
I'd go through the same hell twice
To experience the ecstasy you bring
Willingly make any sacrifice

I am sure you no longer think about me
But your image never leaves my brain
Can't stop myself from acting crazy
Your absence drives me insane

There were many times of strife
But many more of peace
I have no purpose without you in my life
Helpless as I watch my self-worth decrease

I am torn into a million shreds
The future we planned for now shattered
As we sleep in separate beds
I scramble to catch the shards that scattered

Yet you somehow are still intact
I haven't witnessed one cut
Wonder if your composure is an act
Because I am anything but

Got holes all over my body
Invisible to the naked eye
Bleeding out hope and dignity
Just not enough to die

I hate the 'now' I am forced to inhabit
Because the present doesn't hold you
More ****** up than I dare to admit
Nobody has a clue

Most days I hang on by my fingernails
Barely getting through the sleepless nights
Don't pay attention to any details
Cannot tell black from white

Nothing makes sense without you here
Surroundings just colors and shapes
Living out my very worst fear
With nowhere to hide or escape

You are my sanctuary
The happy place I run to in distress
Now the closest I get is memory
But it suffices less and less

I trust that in time you will realize
What a huge mistake you are making
But if you come crawling back don't be surprised
If my love isn't there for the taking

I yearn for the seasons to ease the sorrow
Drenching my weary soul
And patiently wait for an easier tomorrow
To replace the bliss you stole

You threw away my affection
Without a second thought
As swiftly as you change direction
Our time together you've forgot

You'll be sorry when you feel regret
Because you always eventually do
But I'm done being your marionette
Manipulated by you

It will be the hardest habit to quit
I know I'll still love you for an eternity
No matter how much it saddens me to admit
I suppose we are not meant to be
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