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 Sep 2017
jmm
Autumn Leaves

It was when we were dancing on your bedroom floor-
Spinning on our toes and falling to each others' arms
Hair tangling eyes mistaking yours
For autumn leaves that I realized
I was in love with you.
I promptly raked the leaves back into a straight pile to avoid for centuries
Jealousy, prickling up my skin
As goosebumps from the breeze
That comes when someone else jumps
Into the mountain of leaves that I love

Her hair, caked underneath his fingers
Her eyes, shining down to light up the night
Her voice, a summer-ending serenade
Her laugh, a whistling wind to add more leaves to the pile
I smiled, in agony
Took my shovel and tried to bury you with my heart
To continue having dark nights and quiet days
I am ashamed
I am sorry

It was when my mind and I were dancing on my bathroom floor-
Spinning in my head and falling to my knees
Hair pulling eyes watering as I regurgitated the very last of my pills that I told myself
I could love you
I promptly picked the shovel up and dug where I heard the voice keeping me from dying
Crying as I found that while I was falling in love with you,
You were busy remaking yourself into a playground
For this boy,
Raking yourself up for him to jump into
Over and over again

My spine, cracked underneath his footsteps
My eyes, a sparkling ocean to swim in at night
My voice, the broken glass blues
My sob, sheet music for a guitar out of tune
My room called me inside
Took its comforters and tried to suffocate me
So there was no more night and day,
Only sleep

I know, you're just a girl
But you were also, just my life source
Just my first love
Just the only person who can calm down both me and my mind
I've tried so hard, but I can't find anybody else
Darling, you're a miracle worker
Controlling the winds to build up a world around you that included him, yet kept me alive

It was when your mind and I were dancing on the office floor-
Spinning around in circles and falling into corners
Hair protecting eyes connecting as we forget the world around us that you told me
You loved me
I promptly picked the shovel up and dug where my heart was beating loud and clear
It wasn't too far down
Frowns remember the one you erased from memory
And I want to build you up to never be torn down again
But that would take away his only playground

His mouth, spitting fire at the ground licking the burn marks on my waist
His feet, stomping where the glowing pile of autumn leaves used to be
His hands, grasping at whatever he can find, very likely his own throat
His mind, fighting against the sadness that took over me and will inevitably come to him too
Cruel to do something when you know it would hurt them
To take his actions and reverse them, give him a taste of his own medicine

But fall means recess breaks to fix my loving autumn leaves,
Means crisp air to wipe away his tears
Means grass dies faster than I do
Means autumn leaves fall almost as fast as I fall in love again
 Sep 2017
onlylovepoetry
<•>
too oft, so oft, the absence, the imagining, that
no such comfort exists, that remorse may n'ere complete its course,
when a time for love is beyond beyond, is a bridge too far,
a notion so fraught, a vision unwrought, that we do not
recognize the why and the wherefore to step forward
even for for the next breath small, the in of inconsolability,
a deeper welling
so consequential there is no seeing a piercing light

then come to me, come to me then, when words can be
a symphony of violins, an orchestrating examination of
thy wounded chest, and caressing slow repetition
deep moaning, understanding waves upon the shores of my arms, my shoulder, my chest, any piece that can be yours,
a shoreline of relief, and listen with great care as the subtleties change, the pastoral comes in an ever ascending
crescendo of lifting, a stabbing, resurrecting but not fully repairing,
restoring but replacing sensation, for inconsolability is a disease
difficult to defeat, deserving of being memory-recalled,
but the ability, the cure, the rhyme of
hope and upward ***** of open eyes will penetrate surely as the potion of the music of my words lay you down and rise you up,
and that is enough, to begin the renewal,
the campaign of commencement, the possibility of clarity,
it is the journey,


the changeling we call the
destiny of our designation,
which is forever the next destination


9/17/17
7:20am

<•>
a cab driver told me of his life's up and downs,
and that he drove on weekends for one must never cease earning hope
and cabbing reminded him weekly
that it was the journey, not the destination.
 Sep 2017
harlon rivers
Before I close my eyes ... Before I drift away ...
      fallow as the evanescent tide grows low;
      before the falling sun echoes
      upon shown waves of estranged sandbars

Before I draw this life’s ending breath ...
      as beclouding skies ache like a windswept shoreline
      kissed by a bitter sweet gale of love and misery
      beget a chilling spell cast of invisible winds of change

Before you no longer remember ...
      the way the song a gentle wind's caress
      swirls and sweeps away bare feet
      set free to soar beyond the reach of your eyes
      
Before these eyes see the final sunset tiptoe down the sky ...
      even the sun feels the dimming in its wake ;
      unrequited footprints in the sand course straightaway,
      never turning around to look back whence they came

Before another tide floods a deserted oceanside ...
      erasing the traces of where we danced naked as the dark
      glimpsing the diminishing horizon ― 

                              and I let go .........
      as the tears steal away the last glint of the sea

           The way you took your love from me ...



                 © harlon rivers ... May15th, 2017
love always,... was a moment ...
"since you took your love away"

mused by a life event and an affecting song: https://youtu.be/IuUDRU9-HRk

Chris Cornell "Nothing Compares 2 U" (Prince Cover)
Live @ SiriusXM //
 Sep 2017
David Noonan
Welcome Sorrow
no need to seek forgiveness
for not knowing me by name
i've waited long and lonely
to feel the touch
of such desolate company
tell me then
are you here to show me
all of my tomorrows
reflected in a deep pool
of tears from yesteryears
show me that i can be a lover
but can never be loved
show me that i'll still be here
but never will i belong
that these are not my people
these are talents
to which i'll never possess
so stop whispering
stop whispering
come closer my friend
show me that nothing exists
over those grey foreboding hills
show me that nothing survives
at the end of a fractured rainbow
show me that the rivers and oceans
are but a flow of tiny tears
show me that all the dawns and the dusk
of this world to you belong
show me that the only peace to be found
is in a black dogs stare
come now my confidante
wrap me in your arms
so tightly once more
let me see through your eyes
feel through your veins  
speak through your wisdom
emasculate in your reign
but go now my lover
my temptress go
place these words so delicately
on your parched and wretched tongue
from a kiss
to a whisper
to a shattering scream
that this is my goodbye
this is my goodbye
that this is to be
Your final Goodbye
 Jun 2017
Marisa Lu Makil
I am alone again
I knew that this would come
I saw it from afar
A bullet from a gun

Now I'm left here bleeding
No one to save me now
No one to give me stitches
Or wipe sweat from my brow

I am alone again
I feel it in my soul
I feel it in my heart
The loneliness is cold

I feel it in my heartbeat
It pumps within my veins
I want it to get out of me
I just want to be sane

And now I'm left again
With these red stains on my wrists
The bands of pain apparent
A touch of deadly bliss

I am alone again
And no one else can see
That though I am surrounded,
There's no one here with me.
Being alone with one's thoughts can be more dangerous than someone holding a gun to your head, because at least there's someone there to stop them.
 Jun 2017
Pax
you don't know how to carry
the burden of being alone
you can try by pretending
to have company.

But in the end of the
day, sleep
is your
best friend.
just a simple shout-out to self
 Jun 2017
traces of being
back from the brink
of blindly falling;
back alone again
in a crowded room

there is no bridge
over troubled waters,
no way to purge
vast oceans
when deep rivers foment
pitch black
swallowed by an insatiable sea

no good shepherd to gather
an abandoned black sheep
cast heedlessly away
from the fold

unbefriended
like a dogless bone

a stain on impeccable sublime
a hopeless wanderer
stalled on the brink
of a threshold lost in time

purge me from your poetry
so I won’t remember
the insatiable  ache
of inerasable words
left unsaid

you lured me out
from the cold & darkness
to freeze my heart
in naked light of day

purge me from your poetry
like you spilled me
from your heart;
don’t come back here
to this slippery, lonely edge,
just to bid adieu

as if I didn't notice you were gone

purge me from your poetry
so I can accept without
sorrow's ache so deep;
in unbroken silence
a heart silent  atones not pretense,

and yet,

the only lie you whispered was "friend"



November 2016  ... wild is the wind
 May 2017
Eyla
you might be thinking that i don't recognize it,
you might be thinking that i don't know how it felt,
you might be thinking that i am the 'she don't care about me, she's just curious' kind of people,

but you're totally wrong,
i do recognize,
i know what you've been through, I've been there too!
i know how it felt darling,  

and no, i'm not that kind of people,
i do care, i really do.
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