these hard words

are the only fruit my hard-rocked soiled-soul produces,
my alliterations secrete no beliefs, quench nothing,
the poems I don’t write are my most successful,
the songs that comforted, now find no-entry orifice

skin cold wet clammy sweating unsuitable for tilling,
my horizons natural, felled, underground swallowed,
replaced by the man-made barriers, guardrails of words
leaving body, utterances shoutout, exiting non-permissioned

lurch from one guilt-carrying, black leather-straps wrapped,
round my arm, to the ones strapped around my temple,
honorable acts owed, responsibilities fear foundering
unfulfilled lists, griefs, signs of cowardice, badges shameful

deep sighs, open groans, me mean asking questions of myself,
laughed off, city noises turned off, silences of colorless colden,
the sirens loudest inside reverb endlessly, still give nothing away,
a final exam, an all sided, annual checkup reveals nothing but


these hard words

7:48am 10/15/19

It is the season for heartbreak
When youll cry yourself a river
And drown yourself in the lake

You will find serpents dressed in diamonds
Taught to trick and break you
Break your heart into right into two

Falling into temptation is common for humans
You fall knowing that there is a chance you will crash
But then blame the other person for being rash

Humans are fools destined for destruction
Hurting each other like it was an instruction

No antidote can cure the pain inside
No person can tame that emotion
For that demon is wild

Pain is mental suffering or distress
It was that emotion you felt when your head was pressed on my chest

You cover the cuts with your bracelets
Numbing the emotional pain with physical pain
But at the end of the day there will be nothing you will gain

Give me your pain , let me take it away
Ill keep the demons out for as long as youll stay

It is the season of heartbreak
The revealment of all the beings that were fake

Take my hand and I will keep you sane
I will rid you of the pain

-T

Dirt sided shoes
Patter lonely on the grass blanket
Shaky hands choose
Flowers pink or purple
Eyes stare seemingly dry
Unable to feel repressed pain
Memories cry
Tears wiped with white tissues

"I'll miss you"
Whispered into the wind
"I know that you'll miss me too"
Spoken from a superglued heart
My snowflake fingers melt
Onto the rain soaked forest floor
All the love that was yet to be felt
Falls short to branches of ever twirling trees

You followed down through the gathered pages
to the  labyrinth that leads back through the changes
A long and twisted line of unmapped rivers,
*** holed low-roads and tattered mileposts
glancing homeless back-alleys as dark as lonely crossroads

Past the broken wings that fell from skyward treetops
scattered feathers amongst rose petals wilted
at the hand of tear stained faded photos
of frozen black and white faces;
hidden ghosts in the closet that fell from grace

The pathway narrows where the traces dissipate
passing under burning bridges, beneath locked stairwells
A fickle feather floating upon rivers ragging
like the hubris disconnectedness of time rolling out to sea ―
Shadows growing darkest as you reach the blackest silence
and you kept the answers to all the questions at arms length
hidden in the darkness ― where you saw love disfigure me

It was then and there I knew I'd dreamed of someone like you
looking for someone more than I could ever be
Just an unsated curiosity,    trying to see beyond
your own misunderstanding,   to feel and touch
an unknown depth beyond  reach

As sunset pales the distantness, the night is yours alone
when  tomorrow's  morning  rain
hangs  on  the  falling  leaves       ―       I’ll  be  gone
Just a wayfaring loner in a lonely world

Where rivers are only water
                                         and love was once a flowing river
I thirst to swallow ― 
                                         to wash away these tracks of my tears ...


                                      rivers ... 2017