my lil’
pea-sized
mind
is in
yet another
bind
as i
tightly
wind
myself up
inside

locked somewhere
between
my hollowed
out heart
that’s been
scooped clean
and my
guts
and organs
which
only serve
to try
and keep
my bloodstream
from ceasing to be

i’m nothing
more
than
a jack’o’lantern
waiting
and
dreaming for
special
times
when it’s okay
to be seen
like
on
halloween
or
when
i
make an
old friend
that
i
no longer just love
and i
begin
to LIKE like

are
you
waiting
with
a grin
upon
your
adorable
face?

or
must
i
get
even
sillier
and
bleed
myself out
even more?

****!
what
are
we
even
waiting
for?

Grateful for the blue skies
For the warmth of a day 
For soft drops of rain

For lilac buds and trees 
Dancing leaves 
For ocean waves on sandy grains. 

Grateful for what is seen 
Touched, felt 
In whispers heard

The moment that soaks in 
The little joys of life 
Midst the spinning of the world.

Grateful for wine and water
Fruit of orchards
Seasons that shed

For hands that help 
Eyes that speak 
With words unsaid.

Grateful for those who love 
For the wind behind
Feathered wings

For angels that twinkle 
Through the stars 
And the light they bring.

Grateful for kindness 
Tenderness 
Hugs in gentle embrace

Grateful for smiles 
That come my way 
That my fingers love to trace.

Grateful for rays of hope 
That fill a cup 
Then glimmer on the rip

Grateful for you 
And the quiet presences 
For the gift of life and Him.

It's hard being sober
It's hard staying clean
Hard making a living
If you know what I mean

Hard loving your neighbor
Harder loving yourself
Could you do me a favor
And go bother somebody else

It's hard to smile in certain crowds
And not tell the truth sometimes out loud
It can be hard to make a move
When you're not sure of what to do

It can be hard to do what's right
In everybody's sight
Hard to extend the hand of kindness
To those you do not like

It's hard to know when to let go
Be it people or worrying
Hard at times to give up hope
And other times a simple thing

It's hard being a witness
In a world that's part of you
Hard like nobody's business
If you want to know the truth

I read your writings
You said “God was a woman,
But she was not mine.”
And when they say; “my God”
I did not know we were speaking
Of property
Of ownership
Are they truly a God
If they belong

Will you not tell me
Of your longing instead
Not of your wishes
For her to open her pearly gates
I know you tasted heaven once
I know you licked golden honey
From the fountain of life

It seems you will always thirst
For the juice, of forbidden fruit

You better get the fact checkers
this doesn’t make no sense…
I feel the wild wind whipping
tearing through the fence…
Soon the walls will tumble
in a trembling blink of eye..
I know there’s an eternity
on each and every side!!