Maybe there should be a different word for forgiveness because there are two kinds.

There is the forgiveness that we all automatically think of when we hear that word.

The kind where when they apologize and you feel the betrayal and pain come crashing down, collapsing on top of you all at once. Your world falling apart, or maybe just the walls of defense but as they begin to crumble, you can hear their, "I'm sorry," echoing through the back of your mind as you let the pain wash over you.
With each wave that comes you begin to bathe them in the cleansing waters too.
Your pain transmuting through a hug and three little words and you can feel it all wrap around you both like a big warm hug and you just...
Let go.

Then there's the kind of forgiveness that happens with boundaries.
This kind gets you stuck in your anger because more than likely the other person isn't going to come to you at their knees and try to show you they wanna make it better.
Or maybe, they just plain have run out of chances and your good graces wore thin but this kind of forgiveness will bring you to your own knees.
Begging for reprieve from the knives that have been stabbed into back. You just wish it was the person who put it there to give it but it won't be them.
It'll be you.

And you don't ever really "forgive" someone when you've finally removed THEIR knife the way you do when someone takes accountability for their half of the pain.

The other half of forgiveness is painful and lonely.

But you do it for you.
Just like they did it all for them.

You don't get a loving hug.
You get rug burnt, bleeding, hot trembling hands as you finally let go of the weight that was slowly about to drag you off the cliff from holding on.

But the minute you let go you find relief as the cool wind lightly kisses your callouses.

So you let it go.

Let go.

Artists
See the deepest beauty in things

The simple minded never could.

Simple minds lead to shallow hearts.

Artists create

Just like God creates.

We are all artists within because we are One with the All.

If you don't see beauty, feel beauty,
You don't create or express, and if you don't create, you are seperated from the God Self within.

Express the Soul within
And show em your work of Art.

Oh how he towers over her
Rushing desire and adrenaline
As he makes her kneel at his feet
Lust tastes sweeter from this angle

Vast oceans swell above me
Breathing in the cosmos
Submariner stars propel forward
Imperceptibly erratic
Obedient to their times and seasons
Lest they should fall to the abyss below

A thought, a feeling envelopes
Sealed off in the most pleasant way
Protected yet not wholly immune
A discerning eye is of no value
The heart is the basis of perception
Immovable and terribly wise

Should it but be still and listen

You opened up my Pandora's box
And out sprang forth a geyser of forgotten traumas.

Years of hard work of disassociation,
Wasted.

You yell at me for not loving you better but I was loving you just fine before this and if I didn't then that's on you for never speaking up.

Your intimidation isn't my problem.

You yell and kick and scream
About abandonment
While I'm fighting off the demons
You activated for abandoning yourself and with that, your life.

You don't get to dictate how I handle the pain YOU opened up.

Idc about your half hearted attempts.

Admit that you're weak and you fell and you're knocked out and stop pretending to play confident king.

Delusional men who think they sit on a throne of truth but they sit upon half-truths, broken to pieces by your fractured perceptions.

Just admit it.

You are defeated and I refuse
to lie down and die in your coffin with you.

Humans aren't experienced with
"Intricacies."

The world sped up and shifted away from meaning.

They don't have time
To stop and think,

Let alone,
Stop and wonder.

They need things simple and quick,
To the point and definitive.

But I never was any of those things.

Anomalies stitched together with
deep complexities.

A walking contradiction
To all that is non-fiction.

I'm like ridin' waves,
Up n down.
Never staying the same.

I don't make sense, they say.

Is it because I can't make sense of me?

They wanted what was whole but couldn't have it all
So they took pieces instead.

And when they came back for another,
they came to realize there was nothing left.