you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highwayto a burning housesays you are blinding him that he could never leave you
forget you want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearableevery woman before or after you is doused in your name you fill his mouth his teeth ache with memory of taste his body just a long shadow seeking yours but you are always too intense frightening in the way you want him unashamed and sacrificial he tells you that no man can live up to the one who lives in your head and you tried to change didn't you?
closed your mouth more tried to be softer prettierless volatile, less awake but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams so what did you want to do love
Split his head open?you can't make homes out of human beings
Someone should have already told you that and if he wants to leave then let him leave you are terrifying and strange and beautiful something not everyone knows how to love....

It was never you
Playing with my mind
It was always me
Stabbing my own heart

The baby goat's mother was shot.
And I was forced to listen to it cry.
Forever forlorn and distraught
And i stood there- hands covering ears
Traveling back in time
----------------------------------------------------
Your mothers heart stopped
And I was forced to listen to you cry.
Lost in a huge world, more alone
And i stood there- hands covering ears

I heard you through the vents
"My mom is dead! My mom is dead"
Falling to the floor I wished I still dreamt
But she had called me before her bed

I heard her voice message months later
You still cried yourself to sleep at night
Sleeping with earplugs....I wish I didn't bake
Because I thought I killed her that night

Peanut butter cookies:
She taught me the recipe.
And two days before she vanished,
I brought her a dozen.
Autopsy reports showed an hour before death;
She took two bites of my cookies-
Went upstairs and her heart stopped.

Coincidentally exactly four years later,
I finally made peanut butter cookies again
And the smell of sweet peanut butter roasting
Stopped my heart

Me
          Apart from
                                You
is like
Sky
          Apart from
                                Ground
Religion
           Apart from
                                 Faith
Love
           Apart from
                               Life
Time
          Apart from
                               Now
My heart
           Apart from
                              My other half.

Who brings young girls to life
Who speaks in Savoir faire
Who looks a pure delight
In Calvin's underwear

Who has a body of
The latest in Greek Gods
Who gets the job well done
With a wink and a nod

Who is G.Q. classified
With the bluest of blue eyes
Who has no blemishes
In the perfect camera light

Who is this mortal man
The crowds all bow down to
Who has the golden tan
That you can't get in Duluth

Who brings his entourage
When he goes out for a walk
Who has the whitest smile
With no need to talk

Who has the pouty frown
With the perfect lip
Who wears the bathing suit
But never takes a dip

Who is every young girls dream
Who'd they like to wake up to
Who's clothes have the perfect seam
Who's picture makes them drool

Who has the style we want
The gold tips in his hair
The only question is
Why do we really care

Please* don't misunderstand me
I know this had to be done, things
were growing more rotten by the day
and sudden amputation was our only choice, but

I still feel you, like
fingers grazing skin, I feel you
like a heart that never left this chest
I still feel you, and

Though we had to cut away
the decayed flesh of what is
I am still trapped thinking about
what was, and what could have been

My heart is still full of tomorrows
and I need you to know
I will never love again, not the way I loved you
never that way

Each path before, led me to you  
but somewhere along the way, we took a detour
and I can't stop thinking; Is this how it ends?
is this the way true love was meant to die?

Severed heart, bleeding out within my hand?
I'm only human, and there is a limit
to how much pain I can endure
and even though you're gone

*I can still feel you beating in my chest

not lost but not found