Into the Fray - Hello Poetry

Apr 2019

muteD

a house
of uncertainties
has been lifted off of my shoulders.
my chest can finally breathe.
they say the truth shall set you free
and that is true
because my truths
released
me.

off-white.
that’s how I felt at first.
like nothing.
a stretch of time.
an endless sky.
directionless
with a dash of uncertainty..
different enough to capture your eye,
the first time.
“I’m probably tweaking,
he really
doesn’t like me.”
“he did before.”
“but that was before,
we are here and now.
so what is in store?”

sometimes my heart hurts.
it feels like it is
constricting
and expanding.
almost like it is making
room,
for you.
for your heart to settle next to mine.
which is why
I don’t mind.
because that pain
gets blown away,
every time
I look in your eyes.
a sense of ease
washes over me.
surreal and complete.
no disguise,
lies
or trickery.
just chā
and ra’id.

The title is pretty self explanatory. This is about me and my bestfriend, now boo. This is how I felt after being able to tell him how I felt and my emotions.

#free #balanced #bestfriend

Mar 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 169

The lesson is
we are not less then
other men
but different
in our radiance.

Some may shine bright
while others wear a light
that is on another spectrum
one that most humans
are not even looking for.

Mar 2019

muteD

12/10/18

why must it always end this way ?
the feeling of being unwanted .
unappreciated .
unloved .
by the ones who are supposed to love
the real me
the most .

what do you do when you're thrown into a tidal
wave of emotions ?
a hurricane of thoughts
i feel like a tsunami
has wrecked the last bits
and pieces
of my saneness .
my sanity .
my reason .
trying to hold on
is just so tiring .
especially when it seems as though
no one wants to see you achieve your dreams .
discouragement is such a tiresome feeling .

exhaustion is also a feeling I know all too well .
always on go .
doing what I thought would keep
you at bay
but as always
you can't even say it to me .
hiding behind what you think would protect
you .
like a child .
oh i wonder how that feels ?
to have someone who will fight your battles ,
for you .
instead of being on the opposing team .

i wonder how it feels to have a family .
my supposed "first" team ..
what's supposed to be my "main" support.
my lifelines
so what happens when the ones
you never thought would make you feel
the feeling you always feel the most ,
make you feel those feelings you hate feeling
the most ?

you crumble ,
even more so than before
you collapse and you decay
until you're nothing but
a fine powder that hopefully no one ingests .
pure crazy at it's finest ,
a drug for sure .
but , this one ?
It kills.

It’s always a daily battle, always something I’m fighting and I’m always alone.

#brokenfamily #broken #family

Mar 2019

muteD

2/18/19

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
If you truly love me as much as you say you do,
then how come you no longer treat me like you used to?

A short poem just to get your mind thinking..

#love #youdontloveme #whatislove

Mar 2019

SøułSurvivør

Solar Flares

Under my skin
         solar flares lie
                         dormant
                                  tickling
                                 and
                       itching
                trying
                      to
                 OUTGAS
        TO THE DARK SIDE
    OF EONS - THE MOONS
OF SATURN WHICH BREAK
     LIKE BILLIARD *****
        ON THEIR WAY TO
                NEBULAE
            have
     become
the pupils
of my
      eyes...
            my vision
                    blinded
                 by the

        sun.

Cathy Jarvis
3/21/2019

This is "concrete poetry". I hope it works with Elliott York's format.

Mar 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 162

Ain’t no peace
cause its a
hurricane,

ain’t no river
but an ocean
of pain,

and all that is left
is a tornado
of rage.

A bulge in the cement
that is ready
to crack the ****
while swelling waters
prepare to run over
another innocent man.

Raging waves
ruin everything,
leave devastation
across the barrens.

Silence broken with the sob of
parents who lost their loved ones,
as they count the cold corpses
that clutter our nightmares.

We cry out into the void
for some sort of relief,
beg for mercy
from some higher being
but no one is there.

Mar 2019

muteD

3/14/19

dear home,

i miss you.
whoever you are.
i miss your warmth.
from you,
i’d look to the stars.
it feels like i
am missing
a limb.
there is a hole
in me,
that i cannot fill.
why won’t you come back
and fill this void.
i wonder who you are.
i wonder where you are
and how i can possibly
get back to you.

you could say
i am
witnessing a thunderstorm.
in front of my eyes
a sunflower field,
for miles and miles
and right in the middle
is my home in disguised.
a tornado between
her and i.
you and him
as close as can be,
yet you and me?
there is miles ‘tween.

you were mine
and i was yours.
you were my home,
residing my heart.
you were my light,
my shining guiding star.
you were my safety,
my protector,
my guard.
but now you are missing,
please tell me,
are you happy
where you are ?

the one and only,
muteD and homeless

“I have been homeless for years.
They say home is where the heart is,
What if your heart is dead?”
-muteD

#home #missingahome #missing #homeless #dearhomewhereru

Mar 2019

muteD

3/14/19

I am a home.
I welcome you home.
When you are sad,
to I you come.

I wish I was someone’s home and I wish they were mine.

#home #homewhereareu

Mar 2019

muteD

2/11/19

and my chest keeps constricting.
tightening.
and my eyes keep watering.
gushing.
and my head keeps hurting.
throbbing.

I was in the middle of if having an anxiety attack.

#anxiety #anxietyattack #tightening #chestpain #familiarpain

Mar 2019

muteD

12/29 “You rather stay where you aren’t appreciated”

No one truly appreciates me
Or the stuff I do .
Everything is all about what I can do
for
You and you and you ,
I give and give and give
And everyone just takes .
They take until there’s nothing left ,
Until I’m nothing but left -
overs .
Until I’m nothing but a mere carcass ,
An empty shell of
What used to be
And what I used to be .

Someone who used to mean a lot to me said this to me. In that moment, I realized that no one truly gets me. This was said to me with to the intent of manipulating me into doing what that person wanted. As soon as I showed a little hesitation, they hit me where they knew it would hurt.

#unappreciated #unwanted #understandme

Mar 2019

muteD

12/15/18

my head hurts .
it always hurts .
something always hurts .
whether it’s my head or my heart
something is always in pain .
torturous pain..
the type of pain that’ll make you scream ,
scream until your throat is bleeding .
scream until you can’t scream no more .
scream until your scream is tired of you .

that’s what I think I need to do .
I need to scream
and get out all of my anger .
I need to let go .
but I can’t .
I can’t let my dam crack open .
duct tape won’t keep that flood at bay .
all of my control
would have bolted for the door .
and why?
why because
my anger would like nothing more than to swallow me whole .
to drown me in nothing but sorrow
and an intense feeling of
hate .
seasoned and conditioned just right ,
my anger would have me hating everyone .
even more so than I hate myself .
and I do hate myself .
I hate the person I used to be
and I hate the person I’m becoming .
I can’t lie to myself anymore ,
I really don’t know who I am
outside of my madness .
outside of each one of my issues
lies a baby girl who used to pure .
untainted and not molded yet ,
a perfect example of how anything can happen to anyone .
doesn’t matter who you are .

Anger has a way into shaping you into the person it wants you to be..

#unsure #whoami #identitycrisis #anger

Mar 2019

muteD

12/2/18 "muted"

you don't talk to me .
you talk at me .
you talk just so you'll have someone who'll listen .
and I always listen to you .
I listen to you
before you listen to me
and you never listen
to me .
It's like
I'm tuned into your channel
and you're tuned into yourself .
every single one of you
only care about yourselves
and it does not make any sense to me .
how can someone constantly pay attention to
you yet ,
you can only see details about yourself ?
selfish ,
rapacious ,
parsimonious .
different word ,
same meaning .
different people ,
same reaction .

how come some of us are destined to be
the ones who care
while others are the ones who get cared for ?
why am I forced to feel like when I'm talking
but not a soul is listening ?
in one ear and out the other
or maybe it goes right over your head ?
is it possible that every word I've spoken
has been ignored because of lack of interest ?
why is it that I'm always the one who fades
into the background ?
I'm the one who starts the story
but never gets to finish .
the one with so much to tell
but no one to tell it to .
the one who just wants to be heard
but has already been muted .

I am
mute .

This is something that been weighing heavily on my mind.
"

#muted #alone #guarded