It's her words, I think,
that turn the world into gold.
Or, perhaps, the way her eyes captured entire soliloquies
and her voice took on a hint of an accent
as buttery, honey-soaked verses slid off her tongue
and filled the springtime air with such ease
that I began to wonder whether it was truly a poem
or just the lyrics of the thoughts that painted her mind.

And I know I've known her for a while
in that half-smile sort of way
and the contemplation of a wave as she passed me by
but suddenly there was nothing I wanted more
than to talk for hours under the brilliant sky,
the one whose windswept clouds were palaces
with moats of the most cerulean blue.
Though the sky may have once deserved only a passing glance
it was transformed before my very eyes
as she whispered its secrets into my awaiting ears.

I wonder, idly, what the world would be like
if she sang its soul into existence
and there's a small voice in the back of my mind,
one murmuring that perhaps she already has
but we're all too blind to see it.

Not a seat is left here
For your gentle grief
The ritual started a breath ago
And has not tired since
Not a glass is empty,
Not a plate unused

Now meet him in the quiet shadows
Of the garden humming
Itself to sleep
Now dance on with the beetles
You two,
For the hall in here is full

Not a gossip chirps the name
Of your long loyal lover
Not a searching glance
Birthed for him

Here, the ladies sparkle around
And spices giggle on tongues
Here, kings now stumble on their crowns
And goddesses
Painted on windows
Smile the lambs once killed for chastity
In their altars

Did I not warn you, beloved?
Did I not open the moon up
Vessel by vessel
And weave a castle out it all
Did I not surrender?
Spared a throne for him, I did
and a thousand ones for you
in my bleak little hall

I watch you sneak out into the night
Pearls kissing your cheeks,
And teasing your lips
Slipping down that slender neck
Shining a dawn
in the fading lights
Oh, how I envy
the silliest of things!

Precarious dresses
And grasses smothered
Beneath flushed soles

Oh, how I wait and wait
In the hall I slaughtered to silence
For your peace
The stars I invited, drunk on boredom
And sunlit teas
Warm no more
Oh, how I wait, I wait
My breaths away!

Not a dove dares mimic the grace
Of your beautiful grief
Not a moth dares look

You swirl about his finger
And the world does
About you

I sewed myself a dress
Made it prettier than spring
Oh, the laces hiss like golden snakes
And winter sits, a heavy shroud
Did you not prefer frozen lakes over
Golden flowers?
Why then, why then—

And as the dreamy plants
Whisper soft verses to your dress
You sigh happiness in his
Melancholy embrace
Oh, I know,
Not a shadow is left here
For me to blend in

How I wish I were him
your sweet, gentle grief
Oh, how I wish
I were a nameless goddess
Buried in the glass window of a rotten hall
Swaying to the sounds
Of your laughs

"i love you lots, you know that?"

"it's just a little cut, you're alright with that,
aren't you, my love?"

"you said you'd do anything for me princess,
were you lying all along?"

"im doing this because i love you darling,
i dont want anyone else to hurt you okay?"

"that new bruise looks beautiful, sweetheart,
do you not like it?"

"im the only person who's going to love you.
i would never lie to you, honey."

"c'mon, you know how much i love you, dont you?
i would never hurt you on purpose."

"you love me, right?"

i did. i truly did.

but i loved his screams of agony even more.

i turned to him,
"what's wrong my love? why are you crying?
  you know im only doing this because i love you.
  remember when you used to say that to me, darling?
  now it's my turn to show you just how much i love you."

i loved him so much that i didnt want anyone else to **** him,
so i killed him myself.

ive fallen for the moon,
ive fallen for you.

i dont know why i even try.

i cant stop sliding the blade across my skin.
my blood is too pretty to keep it hidden.

so, why try?
i know the urge is going to beat me anyway.

im too far gone.

at this point, mental stability is like a star,
and im stretching out my arms to reach it,
knowing i never will.

she loved him
and he loved the way she loved him

darling, i wish you hadn't lied when you said you loved me
darling, i wish you hadn't broken all your promises
darling, i wish you loved me the way i love you
darling, i wish you'd considered my feelings
darling, i wish you didn't make me so sad
darling, i wish we could've lasted longer
darling, i wish you cared more about me
darling, i wish i didnt love you so much
darling, i wish we were something again
darling, i wish i made you happy enough
darling, i wish you didn't like someone else
darling, i wish we could have been even more
darling, i wish you hadn't hurt me the way you did
darling, i wish you'd been more careful with my heart
darling, i wish we could have done everything we planned to

There was a girl lying on the floor,
she was covered in blood,
her skin sliced by his blades.

There was a girl lying on the floor,
she was covered in bruises,
her skin tarnished by his fists.

There was a girl lying on the floor,
dead and ruined.

She was ruined by what she thought was love,
and killed, by the man she thought loved her.

but he didn’t love her, he loved his canvases.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was lying on the floor.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was covered in red,
painted by his blades.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was covered in blue,
painted by his fists.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was ruined, and overused.

He needed to get a new one,
since he loved painting so much.

He always had a smile on while painting his canvases.

Father is dead
Father is dead
He put a gun
Up to his head
He took some pills
And went to bed
He slit his wrists
dropped as if lead
He jumped off
hung by his neck

These images
of fear and dread
Accosting me
as I slept
Exhausting me
they fill my head
Won't leave me be
Why would you want to leave?

how are you
how are you

are you okay
are you okay

i miss you right now

repeating things in my head
where did it all go wrong

i'm so forgettable
everyone throws me away

i wish we never met
but im happy we did

im a bad friend
i only know
once they hate me

none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song