always that certain word
alone
he carries
and he carries it with him
like a parrot on his shoulder
into the deepest valleys
alone
always looking forward
so he can pay attention
carefully and alone
what is the right path to take
as he carries it and carries on
alone
but didn't notice all footsteps
all the footsteps behind him
countless kilometers
he already walked
alone
the fellow just didn't know
because the faster, so fast
he wanted to carry on
less beauty touched his eye
one eye, alone
because there's distance
even between our dear eyes
so he forgot to look
left and right, and left
he left the crossroad of choices
tired and alone
because of choosing paths
all his life wondering
alone
but after he did a step aside
from all the doubts
thoughts in paths
oh so suddenly
life started to love him
touched him unexpected
and he liked it
even adored her, too
alone
now alone with his own life
that came to him in a day
like a shooting star
alone with life
he really got it together
as one
beautiful

Girls like me are so hot
We are the sun burning into oblivion
Causing fires in the sky of your sheets
We're ghosts with beating hearts
Our minds concrete fires,
Wordless books, eroding cliffs.
All the things you started but could never finish.

Girls like me, we're unattainable.
You can only pretend you had us.
If only for a second before we disappear.
Moving like quicksand through your fingers.
Leaving you grasping at the air for nothing.
You'll wonder if your imagination
Struck cruel again.

Our lips won't offer you salvation.
You won't find peace in our bodies.
We kiss with scarred knuckles
We do not love gently, if we love at all.
You can hold us tightly but we won't break
Girls like me are made of marble;
Not even fire can **** us.

Us hurricane girls are the devils delight.
We consume souls with delicate fingers.
Nails red and perfectly manicured to a point.
Our lips plush; the taste of cherry and blood.
We paint our desires on our fingertips
Leaving traces of them on everything we touch
We're disasters but we're oh so beautiful

If only, if only I could think of one line.
I would write anything. Carroll-ing,
in Wonderland, ring, bing, ting, ting,
but in actuality, that is the sands of time
“Passing Me By” – like the Pharcyde, far side.

Anything, I would write. Insects, parasites,
diseases. God forbid if I wrote about Jesus.
I need something to quill that I cannot resist,
I will, believe this. I take the keyboard swiftly...
but the key is, I’m bored; mind keeps shifting.

Write anything – I would. True Yoda –isms,
Star wars, chores, ignorance galore; I’m bored
Of uncovering the ills of NSA’s PRISM.
******, I want to travel! A world to explore
And unravel; out there are words to score.

Would I Write Anything? I’ll just sit here
Like the man on the marble slab. Blank screens,
White walls, smoke green and sip all the beer.
It’s weird, I’ll sit here and it hits me sometime.
If only, if only I could think of one line.

I never whittled wicker fiddles
while riddles belittle the middle
class of ***** and elephants.
Irrelevant asides alike another
mother smothered by her brother’s
last lover and uncovered this summer’s
eve. ****** – the reason seasons start
aren’t propelled by a spell in my heart.

the spell in my heart you ask?
its a dry spell for sure,
it crackles with the flames of fire
that whip out like the whips
of elephant trainers,
the way they scare me in place,
and i shake with terror.
but terror arises and smothers
the way mothers have been smothered
by a brother's last lover,
and summer eve will still come.

I was new to the school
I had no friends
Fear wrenching my gut
And so I smiled

I met some people
They turned me away
Bullied behind the back
And so I smiled

Finally I made true friends
And got asked out
But of course it never did last
And so I smiled

Then the friendship all went wrong
Promises broken, loved ones lost
Blood was shed, turning hands red
And so I smiled

Horror, black clothing
So much more
Crying and dying all inside
And so I smiled

A grandfather left
Passed away
No longer shall we play
And so I smiled

Glaring eyes crossed
Hatred shown in the hall
Between friends turned enemies
And so I smiled

True friends turned sisters
Moved away
Leaving me alone
And so I smiled

Fear wrenched me again
As I tried to mend
Broken friendships from childhood
And so I smiled

Now I have met some girls
Not true friends but close
A boy I like is more than friends
And so I smiled

But a smile no longer means happiness
Now it's simply a brave face.
So how do I reveal to the world
That I am somewhat happy?

I planned it all out
    Carefully manipulated
       Every tiny detail
           As if I thought
               For those few seconds
                   That I could script life
                        I was going to tell you
                           I had it all figured out
                             But when life happens It never happens the way you wish.
    Your laughter seemed off
        Your smiles struggled
            As if you were clinging
                To a past happiness
                     Or trying for us or you
                         To act like everything
                               Was fine
And so I knew that my seemingly
   Unimportant piece of news
       Would knock you from
            Your carefully placed
                Pedestals, and that I could
                    Not bear to see
                        So since I couldn't
                           Find the courage.
                               To tell you in person
                                   I wrote it in a poem
I had a relapse, it was only two days
But I felt so hollow, so empty
And everything seemed to hit me
Like a train that had been delayed
I realized how far apart we really are
We said that it wouldn't change us
But I know that isn't true
We will always be friends but things are different now. And just the other day. In the hall I met his eyes and all I wanted to do was turn to you and cry
But then I realized I have gone so far, that no longer can I turn to you and hug you, unless it's from afar. So I had a two day relapse, it's run its corse and gone, and even though it's over now, if you know what I mean, the long sleeves are on.