They say to write what you know
But all I know is an empty heart
Sleepless nights
And no fresh starts
My days run together
With the slowing thuds of my heart
If it doesn't beat with love
It's skids with a loss of hope
A loss of time
A loss of urgency
Why beat if you're beat
And out of feelings to be had
And what you left me with
Nothing
No beat to carry on
What if I never love again
In fact, I know I'll never love again
Because if love is opening a heart
And a heart is something no longer had
Love can never give me a jump start
You never get over your first real love
Or so they say
But if your first real love took it all
There's nothing left to give away
I've searched for this feeling
For any tinge of senses
What I get in return are dull roars
And deep cuts
Drunken nights
And cigarette butts
Why love again when you can be void
Numbing is the absence of pain
But being in love is like being set on fire
And fueling it within
If love is done right
There is nothing left when the flame dies out
For it was so hot, it took you with it

I think I'm broken
No really
There's something not right
I don't feel the things I should
But I see beauty in the flow of traffic
I have no motivation to breathe
And yet I inhale, and exhale constantly
My body is moving forward
My mind is expanding
But here I am
Stuck standing
I have zero desire to move forward
But I don't want to stay

Did you toss and turn
Thinking about me
Did your heart skip a beat at my sight
Because my heart stopped
And my cheeks flushed
And all I got was a slight smile
A curve of that mouth I knew so well
Almost unnoticeable
Just like the connection between us
But I still feel it
Weak, but still pulsing
Is it just me?

I'm reading poems
About love
When I read them I think of you
And then I'm jealous
For a second  
Because I think they get to love you too

Pages and pages
Of words for you
Words you'll never see
Or hear
Feelings you'll never know
The pain that deepens daily
While healing only faintly
When you write for an absent audience
You perform for yourself
My words may be for you
But I'm just working through my truth
Pages and pages
That one day will end
When the papers pile high
And the tears no longer fall
The ink will finally dry
And with it, my feelings for you

I had a dream we met again
Not as strangers
But as us
And we talked
For hours
Maybe days
Getting to know each other
Like new friends
And I realized
I'll never love again
When your best friend
Breaks your heart
Whatever you mend
Will forever be changed
And a heart that can no longer love
Is a heart that can't be broken

I had a dream we met again.
*And oh was it a dream