Getting lost in a daydream
What happens when fantasy is better than reality
Just one little thought
One idea
Your mind just takes it and runs
You get that sick stomach feeling
The butterflies
The what ifs
Wouldn’t it be wonderful
But expectations are never met
The story never ends the way you want it to
There you are
Standing in the middle of your own imagination
Just lost
Nowhere to run
You always just run into yourself
This little box you created to keep yourself safe has turned on you
No one to blame but yourself
Your legs start to break
Lungs collapse
Too tired to keep going
But you do
Why?
Keep on chasing this crazy dream that only leads down one road
You know the road
You said time and time again
I’ll never do it
I’ll stop
You never stop
Still that same little girl spinning around in tea cups
Cry for help but no one to hear you
Thwarted again by that **** box
Until one day you found a key
And that key fit into a lock
And so you opened the box
What now?
Ah, isn’t that beauty of it?
Anything you want

i still remember the nights
spent tracing her lips, looking
for meaning in their cracks.

(shrunken spines, curling
lips and cosmic eyes.)

she'd kiss away my fears,
paint them black and blue,
distorting memories until
they became meaningless
lies dripping so easily off
her tongue that i'd soon begin
to mistake them for truths

(shrunken spines, curling
lips and cosmic eyes.)

Untouchable, she was the
kind of beauty to keep you
transfixed, swirling skies,
killing time, the crescendo
building up in your head
until everything just
suddenly
               goes
                       blank.

she was shrunken spines,
curling lips and cosmic eyes

i loved her, i hated her,
i still wish i could see her
without the memories
lying breathless,
clouding my gaze.

Staring at me through blank eyes
What I thought was inside
Turned out to be a spiral of doubt
The only thing that turned out to be real
Was the lesson I learned
The slap in the face
And the reality check
That not all people are looking to love
Some just want the surface
The smudges on the glass
Distorting what you see of yourself
My reflection in you was my self worth disappearing
Apologetic for who I am
And my belief of wrong
And right
I could have loved you
Now you're just one more lonely girl
Too stubborn to be anything else
Just know I could have loved you