Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Christina Maria Apr 2020
In a time of somberness
I have been awakened
Desires to do what I've always wanted
Learning
Growing
Enlivening
To thrive in darkness is a super power
Become a better person on the other side
Christina Maria Jul 2015
Want to run away?
escape your mind
not give a ****

Tired; hurt?
feeling as though the world
is crashing down.
Or is that just me?

How is one
to escape
their own mind?

Born a different way
Wired like no other
Eventually feeling
life has no meaning
Who feels lost and alone
Christina Maria Aug 2015
Sensitivity of my mind
frights
Hurt
in a snap
Feel my heart quake
Sinking into the core
Negative words
show a fear
Crying many tears
One comment
Fail to stay strong
Sensitive mind-
sensitive heart
don't make for positive response
Loner most frequently
from negativity
Ok
Christina Maria Aug 2015
Ok
Don't worry
I've been fine
No need
to call
Knowing
you're busy
Still I am weary
of what you think
about me
But I'm okay
I'm fine
No worries
it's alright
I'm doing well
without you

You may tell
from my tone
otherwise
Well,
you're a smart man
Show an interest
like you used to
Work taking over
I'm important too
I'd like to see if you’re okay
and for you to do the same
Don't leave
Seems like you're fading
Is it me?
Or is it you?

Tell me your story
I'll tell you mine
Are we fine?
When I ask, you yell
Say I'm overthinking
When you ask
I lie
to make you stay
I don't feel okay

Gave up some others
for you
in hopes that one day
you'll be next to me
Christina Maria Jul 2015
I am a dreamer
A spirit caged
looking to be set free
The dreams I dream
are realistic
I could be out in the world
searching places
Left perched here
caught between wanting to leave
and being afraid to.

Alive
Not living
Stuck
My body seems dazed
Sit and think is all I do
Like a prisoner
Disintegrating
Dying slowly, painfully
Thinking of a better life.

I try,
try my hardest
to see the light
Looking at images of my perfect nirvana  
All I have is fascination
I can almost feel the wind,
see the nature surrounding
Just one of my dreams.

I open my eyes
Realize I'm confined
4 walls
Can't break free
Hoping one day the fear is gone
Endeavor and unearth happiness
True happiness
Travel the world like I've wanted to.
Christina Maria Jan 2016
Somebody once told me
you'll lose more than you'll win
It's the stumbles that bring you back to your feet, carefully
You'll cry more than you'll laugh
Tears of hurt because life is pain
Laugh it up while trying to cope
The rope in my hand ready to hang
That voice in my head, saying "not  yet"

I'm alive and breathing even though I don't want to
That voice in my head is right
"you're not worth it"
Decided I need help after a long, long time
To shut that someone up telling me all these lies about life
I will win wars
I will laugh everyday in happiness
That voice, that someone doesn't have a hold again
Taking back that control I once had when I was young
Christina Maria May 2014
he was like
a shadow in the night
as quickly as he came
he left
met by chance
loved by choice

made me feel
like I was flying
like a bird
so calm
so free

the love I had
was the kind that should be
he told me
time and time again
I was the only one
he wanted
he dreamed of
he searched his whole life for

my intentions were real
went beyond
what I could ever imagine
I reveled in his love
that he made known

I could do no wrong
in his eyes
gained the confidence
I've longed for

then the cold night
dead in the middle of March
he left
like a mirage
he vanished
his love left with him

I could no longer feel
numb
is the right word
couldn't think
couldn't act
couldn't move

still all these months later
I miss what we had
you were gone too soon
never to hear
never to see
you again

if life were like a movie
we'd be together
the fairy tale
that all girls imagine

I would get on that flight
go to you
and make you mine
again.

— The End —