sometimes the past comes
Back in pixels
I see them fly by
And arrange them
As fast as I can

But the picture is always
Different
Now
Miserable
I was but floating on
Stars in my eyes
Flying
Couldn’t feel a thing

And now I’m down below
In the dirt writhing

I eat the dirt and **** it back out
I am alive

i think i know
that somewhat ulterior suggestion that you crept into my mind
like a vivid rainbow across your face
light transmissions offering up your words
your image is on repeat
and our sentiments are all quite something else
always on hindsight
on turmoil
easily not speaking
confused about what we want
overexposed to death
we each smell detached
the way we sound in the distance
often too frail to reach inside our beautiful loneliness

I really don't think so
Yes it is
No it isn't
I'm going to public it
Oh please don't, no one's going to laugh
I'm already laughing
I'm hiding
Too late, haha
[smack]
Tha's not funny

THE PAST

The past      etched in time's memory

engraved in my mind-scape  
        
faces    places

colours    sounds     smells   moments

undercurrents of emotions  

of feelings   of images

of glimpses of joy   of sorrow  

of laughter    of  tears  

of love   of tenderness

of   resolutions    of doubts  

of regrets   of remorse  of loneliness

of what had been    or could have been

everything had evaporated like dreams

but all seems so dim  now  

neural debris    
weakening dendrites  

the past is but shadows

    an illusion  

  a shadow-play    

the essence was then --  

most memories have vanished or  faded at the present hour

the past   what are its uses    

what are its abuses

time measures all  

swallows   all  

it takes no sides  

neither a friend or foe

the past     I was    

the present   I am  

the future   I don't know

5th May 2014