I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
And opened myself up to shame,
I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Over and over again,

And there are times
That knowing what I did
Is too much for me to stand,
And there are times
That knowing what I did
Is a source of the utmost pain,

I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Repeatedly wrecked my dreams,
I betrayed myself
During my younger days,
Over and over again.

Dear one, what did you say?
A dining hall, a distant day,
It seems it was time
For goodbye,
Speaking of my eyes,
‘They shine so bright’,
Words said (or words of this kind),

If this was true and that they did,
Because of feelings that I hid,
I must have longed
For you to stay,
But I didn’t beg you, ‘please don’t leave!’
I must have seemed so cavalier,
And something precious had to fade.

Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.

Had I tried and failed,
That would scarcely concern me,
Yet, I squandered my resources
Time and time again,
And failed so unnecessarily,
That is what so torments me.

I only wish I could contemplate
More than a mere handful
Of past achievements with pride
And satisfaction,
But even this paltry compensation,
Remains stubbornly beyond me.

Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.

I go back, though
Sometimes it’s filled with pain,
I go back, ’cos
Nothing will be the same,
Precious places
I first knew,
When life and youth
And love were new,
I flow back, and
Memories flow back too.

You told me that your name was Maria,
And that you came
From the Netherlands,
But you looked more like a Latina,
With flowing dark hair,
Perhaps a natural tan,

I was in love,
So much in love,
But I let love pass me by,
All through my life,
So much of my life,
I have let love pass me by.

You left me with a casual ‘I’ll see you’,
But I looked for you
All over London town,
It’s like that I was paralysed with fear,
I could have sworn
I saw you on the underground,

I was in love,
So much in love,
But I let love pass me by,
All through my life,
So much of my life,
I have let love pass me by.

I go back,
Though sometimes it’s filled with pain,
I go back,
‘cos nothing will be the same
Precious places
I first knew,
When life and youth,
And hope were new
I flow back,
And memories flow back too.

O how
Ruefully I pine
For mi pueblito perdido,
What I wouldn’t give,
To be young again,
And happy as I was back then.

Maria, full of peace,
Do you remember
Francis Albert softly keening
O Amor Em Paz,
And other songs by Jobim,
Happy as you were back then?

O for
That wide-eyed
Impression of yours,
Paquita (la de Murcia),
Of your beloved Mary Lyn,
Happy as you were back then.

O how
Ruefully I pine
For mi pueblito perdido,
What I wouldn’t give,
To be young again,
And happy as I was back then.