I’m slowly losing hope in you
Possibly in humanity
And I might need to rethink my views
Or maybe my sanity
I’ve tried, applied, cried, and died
With more of the first in between the others
I build up visions and am finding they lied
And I’m left wond’ring if I’ll recover
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I’ve not falling, but it hurts to stand
As life steadily beats me black in blue
With my beating heart in your hands
And I’m tired. And I’m scared.
And I’m lacking from too many investments
And in waiting for you to be there
I’m succumbing to the elements

I’m slowly losing hope in you
Like shedding one tear each day
And as much as I want to leave you behind
I don’t want you to go away
It’s a syndrome, it’s a sickness
You’re my ailment and my cure
I am caught in this self placed thickness
With visions so obscured
And I am buried in 6 feet deep
Yet I can’t find the ground
The value’s there, the price is steep
And I fall to it without a sound
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I have not wandered, I have not strayed
Amidst the fervent treasonous cues
That cause the pouring of fermented rage

And I love you
But I’ll lose you
And I’ll suffer through and through
With soul and heart churning
First clenched up and burning
And my screaming for a simple cue
But I’ll stand there amidst tears, my love
Without a hint or a whisper of what to do
And you can see I’m fighting with all I’m made of
I haven’t lost hope...

...but I’m starting to...

I can be iron and steel, built of bricks
a stone tablet front you've etched into
now left standing like a memorial dome
an outline recognizable and familiar
this fallout doesn't scare me and never has
imprinted blackened ghosts lay at my side
nuclear shadows of what we had said
long before the plutonium sparked
I'll be left standing, though worse for wear
but even radiation can be cleaned with time
like the decades you both gave and took
and the love that both healed and destroyed

It's the days when you don’t cry,
But you don’t smile either.

It’s the days when you’re quieter than usual,
And people notice.

It’s the days when you aren’t quite thinking about anything.

But if someone asked you what was wrong,
You wouldn’t know where to start.

you terrify me
because i know that in years to come
when i am finally happy and settled down,
you will come along,
and i wont even second guess walking
away from that life to be with you.

to be broken all over again.

- Leah

chocolate covered fantasies
and peanut butter dreams
pin me down with rope
grab the cold whipped cream

paint me like a cake
with ribbons of sugar and gold leaf
watch me come undone
as my wrists feel your teeth

decorate me with candied raspberries
along my stomach and my sides
tease me with your lips
let me be your guide

I have often wondered how it would feel
to live in a world of my own
to exist in a place where time does not steal
and live every moment alone

I would create poetry, nonfiction, and art
I would read every book on my shelf, at last
though there is a sadness within me in part
it dissipates eagerly and life moves on fast

I alone would have the stars as no one else does
to watch them twinkle and interpret all that they say
I alone would remember history and what once was
as I set out on a brand new journey each day

I refuse to let your eyes look back.
The Past is nothing.
A lesson learned and forgotten.
Let it softly fade
And the stars shine bright.
Don’t ever look back.