use my skin for your push pins
like a voodoo doll of rags and sin
yours to abuse, love or leave
yours for anything, cuddle or cleave

my strings are attached to wooden crosses
between rows of stone, I count my losses
you tell me that feelings aren't for dolls
speaking to you is like hitting a wall

you tell me I'm prettier up on a shelf
you say, around me, you can be yourself
I am just your puppet in the end
in doll houses, we play pretend

I keep my lips sealed in silent stitches
dress me up in red lipstick and riches
your happiness has always been my task
even though it means I'm wearing a mask

I'll ride on sparkling rainbows
to sandy shore lines far away
follow the beams and rays that glow
while rain drops form a bouquet

watch me dance through the sky
with the stars, I will sway
while playing with clouds, I fly
I'll learn to lose you on the way

a chemical cocktail spills from your lips
your tongue drips pure moonshine
table varnish leaks on the floor
i've been polishing for hours
can't get it clean, can't get clean
i scrub harder until my skin is red
and blood blemishes the rug nearby
my friends are the beams of sun
that show ashes in the air
i don't want to breathe it any more
i feel it scrape inside my lungs
wanting to get out and escape
white powder, lines of dust
and little pills that keep me sedated
my nose scrunches at the smell
of strong ozone and the taste
of metal forming in my mouth
while ironing out radiation particles
wondering where it all went so wrong