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 Feb 2015 Brittle Bird
M Doyle
Close the door and turn the key
sit down in the dark with me.
The fear is warm and strokes my spine,
I haven't been here in a long time.

The moon is quiet, the room is still
I stare out the window against my will.
There's too much out there I've already seen
and dipped in memories of places I've been.

The leaves are dark and twist and shudder
as one breeze comes and then another.
Wallpaper lit by a neighbour's light
flowers jump, start, but hold tight.

The next day looms, dark and threatening
glistening with details I'm tired forgetting:
a tooth pulled out, a pen put to paper
there is no courage, just air and vapour.

In the trough of a wave, shouting calling
you're moving forward not just falling.
Keep still, hide your breathing, don't let it show
don't scream out loud and they'll never know.
 Feb 2015 Brittle Bird
Thomas EG
Uncertainty fills the air
And suddenly I'm not so sure.
Nostalgia begins to decay
But why?
Heavy, heavier...
I inhale and sigh with, what, exasperation?
Creation?
These are all mere distractions
To prevent myself from colliding
With myself,
With how I feel.
Emotional trauma, Part I -
Coming soon to a childhood near you!
We laugh it off
But it does not leave us.
Nothing can leave us
As easily as you walked away
That night.
I will not forget what I saw.
Engraved in my brain
Causing me to crumble
Tumble, tumble...
**Crash.
Ripping, tearing, scratching at my skin all I want to do is let the light in
destroy me
tear me apart
envelope me with your touch
cause don’t want to live in this body anymore
I want to disappear
or turn into something new
all I really want
is to get away from you
you body,
you skin,
I don’t want you anymore
I want to fly away
maybe to
go to the moon
all I know
is I want a place
where I can feel beautiful.
They never tell you how your mouth never tastes the same

They never tell you how the smell of their body clings to your skin

They never tell you how their face gets tattooed into the pathways in your brain

They never tell you how every nerve in your body sets on fire

Or how the butterflies in your stomach start calling out his name

They never give you a map, or show you the way.

I never learned how to love you

Please, don't run away
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