I’ll keep on loving you
Long after you start to
Look like your mother
Though she looks much
Too much like her brother.
I’ll keep on laughing at
The groaner puns you make
And eating the cakes
That taste like meatloaf
From Blavian yak ****
Because that is what,
To me, true love is.

It doesn’t take a wiz kid
To see what nature did
And I am sure I will be
A cartoon version of me
When I get to that stage
Where age has altered us
To having rear-ends like a bus
And skin like the spin cycle
Before the dryer gets there.
We’ll have hair like lint
To match the laundry bent
Of the last four lines.

And I know I won’t mind
Because it’s you I adore
And that is what love is for
To help us ignore the stuff
Like belly button fluff
And farting unashamedly
Even though we are blamedly
Guilty as recharged, stinking.
I am guilty of thinking
Things will continue to get worse
Until the nurse considers ******
When nobody heard her.

You’re a bumper riding
Traffic sliding
Maniac on wheels.
You make me want to
Back up into you
So you know how it feels.
You’re a narcissistic
Unrealistic
Self-important brat.
Somebody needs to
Bend you over a knee
To show you where it’s at.

You may be a good daddy at home
And your family is glad to see you.
But when you get behind the wheel
Other drivers are sad to see you.

You zip around us fast
Breaking traffic laws.
And flipping us the finger
If you get a blow out
Or maybe hit a tree
Perhaps nobody will linger.
We’ll shake our heads
We might call the cops
And sadly report the wreck,
But to tell the honest truth
It’s hard to feel sorry if your
Rudeness breaks your neck.

You may be a loving hubby at home
But not out on the street,
The way you treat your neighbors
Is anything but sweet.

If there is anything to karma
And of course, to dharma
You will get yours soon.
The payback should eventually
Teach you not to be so much like
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
What’s the hurry anyway?
Where are you rushing to
In your hiked-up truck?
You’re not dead yet
Thus so far you haven’t run
Through your streak of luck.

Have you ever wanted to meet
Christopher Columbus just before he sailed?
Would you like to have chatted
With Oscar Wilde while he was in jail?
Or maybe you could discuss with
William Shakespeare about young hamlet?
Discuss modern religion with Buddha
Precisely to see if he could even handle it?

Maybe see Cleopatra herself
To check if she was as pretty as they said.
Go back and see old Saint Paul
To see if there was a halo around his head.
And Thomas Edison, was he a ****
Or the amazing genius we all say he was.
Was he or was he not guilty of
Blithely trying  to steal Tesla's good work?

Wouldn't it be great to see
Josephine Baker dancing for all she was worth?
Take a trip back in time and see
What really happened at Jesus's birth.
If anything really happened
Or if the disciples just made it all up.
And what about the holy Grail?
Was there or was there not that famous cup?

Am I am the only one who wonders
What all the legendary stuff was really about?
Did Mahatma Gandhi the man
Ever feel the need to scream and shout?
Did the USA founding fathers
Really care about the common populace?
Did Carlos Castaneda have
Any useful message for the rest of us?

I wonder. I truly wonder
If telephones had been invented then
Would any of them have answered
If I could have managed to make the call?

Once I believed in Santa
And the north pole was real.
The lights on the Christmas  tree
Could change the way I'd feel.
The standard kind of carols
Still make me reminisce
When everyone got friendly
And cheeks were happily kissed.

Sure, as I got to be older
Most of my gifts were clothes
But there were still lovely things
For eyes, and ears and nose;
The smell of turkey baking
And pecan and pumpkin pie.
Christmas music on the radio
Those Christmases gone by.

And later we went caroling
Some friends of me and mine.
We sang in lovely harmony
We all sounded very fine.
Back at home with egg nog
We often played  Monopoly.
We laughed and told jokes
A happy Yuletide family.

As time went on we changed
And some old traditions fell.
We threw out the silver tree
And tinsel went away as well.
We started to add to our growing
Collection of handmade things.
The colorful lights still twinkled
But the angel no longer had wings.

Times have gotten busier
So tempting to avoid the trip
But it’s only this once a year
So we don’t let this visit slip.
We keep these memories going
And talk about them each year
When the family comes back
For the holidays from far and near.

When I was just a little kid
I never liked a ****.
When I grew up it didn’t change
When I went to work.
I didn’t much like pranks and such
And  most practical jokes,
Whoopie cushions, pulled out chairs
And winking, leering blokes.

It was much more annoying to me
When the liars got to win.
It made me want to call them names
And kick them in the shin.
How anyone ever thought well of them
Made no sense to me.
They should have been taken to task
And called the enemy.

Schoolyard antics
Made me frantic
When they harassed the weak
The underweight, those in glasses
Those whose noses were tweaked.
Why didn’t their parents teach
These creeps to be more kind?
Or keep them home full time,
I’m sure nobody would mind.

Now I hate to watch the news
And see how many got elected.
If the average voter doesn’t know
At least they should have suspected
When billions of dollars disappear
And nobody is ever put in prison.
That means there are jerks out there
And that doesn’t take a lot of wisdom.

I sometimes wish Kafka was right
And the evil woke up differently.
Maybe they could be one foot tall
And not quite reach my knee.
Then we could see the crooks arrive
And lock them out of our conventions.
We’d just have to lglance to know
That they have dishonest intentions.

Schoolyard antics
Made me frantic
When they harassed the weak
The underweight, those in glasses
Those whose noses were tweaked.
Why didn’t their parents teach
These creeps to be more kind?
Or keep them home full time,
I’m sure nobody would mind.

We all could have equal rights
If the world would only grant them.
We could all sing a brand-new
A truly joyous national anthem.
We could sing about at last
The words of the Constitution
Finally will match with reality
Without another revolution.

This is the tale of the autocrats
And how they got badly out of hand.
They decided they knew more about
Things they could never understand.
They decided they knew better than
The people with proper education.
So they elected their supporters to
Lay waste to their own fine nation.

This is a morality tale about greed
And what it can do to men’s minds;
That turns them to skulduggery
And makes them act as if they’re blind
To reason, decency and even honor
Taking advantage of the weakest
Who then grow weaker by the hour.

As many times in history, they promise
A shopping list of impossible dreams
And the weak think they’ll come true,
Say reality is not quite what it seems.
They think by listening to carpetbaggers
They will all get rich and supported
By each elected lying *******.
But those dreams are soon aborted.

For a while they believe the woes
Are made by their predecessors.
They’l blame the losers, the gays
The blacks and finally the electors.
They won’t question themselves
About the choices they all made.
By then the path of doom and death
Will be almost permanently laid.

At the risk of egotistically bragging
I love when my poems start trending.
I love knowing when I post a rhyme
That it’s not simply a sort of ending.
It tickles me to see that this one
Will still be in the universe out there
And won’t just be words that slip away;
The world at large isn’t unaware.

I love that so may people like the words
And so often react with love and sharing
Whether my poem is funny, or even sad
And perhaps sometimes extremely daring.
Sometimes it’s because I have written
What has long needed to be said,
And often because I did not leave
Ideas in my path as if they were dead.

Other times, I just take a chance
In the fervent  hope I am conveying
Something brand new and exciting;
Something that really needed saying.
It reinvigorates me to keep on writing
And authorizes what I am feeling.
It boosts up my self-esteem so much
That it sends me senses reeling.

So thank you, my readership all,
And take this sentence seriously,
I read every comment through.
Sometimes I laugh deliriously.
This kind of acceptance from you
Affects me more strongly than a drug.
Please take my heartfelt thanks
And a great big literary hug.