Stumbling to the edge of the cliff,
Fear is nowhere to be found,
As I stare into the void,
A noise escaped,
Was this my thoughts?

Hearing silence is odd,
You can feel this sound,
With the beast circling over head,
I rethink my intentions,
Who I thought I was is simply holding me back.

I out grow my shell to become what I might be,
With toes dangling over edges,
Waves crashing underneath on rocks bellow,
Its hard to believe what I think I know.

Yearning for a greater sense of connection,
With winds of change pushing at my back,
As I prepare for this leap of faith away from belief,
I think back one last time,
Fear is tapping my shoulder again,
I look ahead to see love standing with arms wide open,
The dynamic of my mind will never surely be the same,
Gathering courage as my knees bend,
Wondering where in the water I'll land.

I jump into what I perceive as free fall,
I was free but I was not falling,
Illusions peel away from encasing my being,
I began to spread my wings and fly off towards the horizon of truth,
Finally, finally I'm on my way home.

We look at mirrors he says
We watch our own expressions
Play in the reflections of their eyes
Measure our feeling in anothers  reciprocation
Desperation in the realization
You feel pain well under your skin,
You experience ache and temptation
Differently
You think
Pensively
You introspect conceding
The distance between your being and
The things you see playing  on the face in front of you
Maybe
The same
No,
You blame them,
You blame everything
on yourself.
You just want the one moment when
Humanity can exist in cohesion
And you can realize yourself
And everyone will see it.
And for once you will see them.
The same.

I was lurking in the darkness
Surround in my abandon
Picking at my scars
contemplating life’s abandonment's
perplexed in Gods damning
and my sharp surroundings closing my eyes against
My internal turmoil
set against the existing struggles
Trying to forget to breath,
Listening to the whispers you start to hear
When everybody leaves.
Crunching dried leaves under
My lost feet and pondering
How I became bare like
Fall’s trees and empty
Like the vast space below dimming stars
And wishing I could be brave again
And dare to dream
Or discover something new
Or belive in anything
Bigger than my own pain.
And then you stepped between greedy branches
Clinging to your shirt
Caressing that shoulder
I have been so known to weep against
You told me
You loved me and I've always known you know me best
There were warm embraces and
A place for weary soul to lean against
You said I had come far enough you’d carry me the rest
And that best friends ought walk together at least
And be in love together at best.

When I met you,
your tiny face was peaking from the side of the grand bus seats that towered over us.
Hiding in a row of castles.
Your brown eyes telling of the smile hiding behind the tinny knuckles of your gripping fingers.
Instantly sizing me up
like you thought you were taller than me.
I just wanted to know your name,
We were best friends in ten minutes
I felt I had always known you.
We were all so young that you my sister and me all sat together
in the same seat.
That seems like it was so long ago.
The first time I left you I was the fourth grade.
We had a whole collective of other friends we had made.
But you were always the best
Because you never cared about your dress or your hair
Just like me.
And I knew you were afraid of slugs
And I never told anyone ,
not a single one
Of our secrets because they were only our own..
For years you were the only best friend
I was lucky to know.
And when I returned you held on to me
exactly like you had never let go,
In high school boys came and went
And I would sit while you cried and tell you all the reasons I loved you,
And sometimes you did that too.
And somewhere along the line
You cut me out.
A few years  have past and I still don’t know why ,
I still think of you and yeah, I cry.
But I hope you found yourself.
I hope that  understand and,
I hope you smile often
As often as you can,
I hope your pain subsides
And you think of me fondly, honestly
I will never understand.
But I think that that’s ok.
All good things come to an end
they say.
I guess I never believed....
I just couldn't comprehend
..a time...
when
I couldn't call you
my
very
best
friend.


And I miss you.

There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment  
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
And I’m not going to pretend like to know me
You have to always be my friend,
Take me for whatever it is you wanted to
and
Stay as long as you wish
And leave when you don’t.
Show me what you want to let me know
And see what I have to say
Don’t give me empty promise

Do not promise me you’ll stay.
And I will learn something of you and
Find something in myself,
Maybe even something I couldn’t find in anybody else

And I will be grateful
But I will miss you when you’re gone
And soon enough another lonely
Will finally come along
And look at me and see themselves.

And I will say quickly before they cut me with there tongue…
There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
And still very much the same,
If you question if you’re crazy
That’s a sign that your still sane.

Are you looking for validation?
Are you looking for the truth?
Are you looking for a person
To guide you on the way,
Are you looking for a promise
that someone here will stay?
Are you even asking questions or
are you just floating along
Blaming your surroundings
For the things that go all wrong?
I would like to know the answers
To all the questions I can ask
And of the ones you’ll answer
Ill paint the pictures of my future,
And Ill illuminate my past.
And in this grand adventure
I’ll make your answers last.

So just know
There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment  
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
But we are all the same
We just call our daemons
Very different things
And know in our disclosure
Ill never say a name.

I broke away, suddenly and on unsure wings
I stepped forward swiftly into darkness
Giving chase to brighter things
And even I can say that faith is a beautiful thing
Even if I don’t possess faith in the typical things.
Even if it is only a faith in the fragile space
That exist between our heartbeats
Where quiet locks are kept
And keys are exchanged ,
Where lovers each learn
To pronounce
another name.

I have been broken down by numbers
And the harsh realities time has uncovered
Things that remind you, That fragile things die
Like butterflies lose wings
to vindictive trees  
I have been stolen,
And I have been lost,
Bound in life’s ties,
I have failed under different eyes
But I’m divorcing self hate
For a real chance at our
first real date
And let me make this clear,
my love, my friend, my dear
it is faith in the parts of you I will never see
in the layers of love
transending your physical touch
that evades any tie to the end of my pen,
in the reverberating sound of your name in my brain
that I found this thing
that makes me brave
that keeps me sane
And it is in these things I found my faith
And it is faith that makes me believe in improbable things

I broke away, suddenly and on unsure wings
I stepped forward swiftly into darkness
Giving chase to brighter things
And even I can say that this faith is a beautiful thing
Even if It is not faith in the typical things.
Even if its faith in the fragile space
Between our pain
Where we share the stories of which we are made
Collaborative artists, stenciling words to fresh page ,
Where lovers each learn
To pronounce
another’s name.
I have faith that your eyes and
“I love you” both say the same thing.

10/8/2013

Hey

Ive been away for quite a while, seriously missing my new found family here at Hello Poetry...kind of going through some personal, professional and financial challenges as we all do...I've allowed those that dont mean me well the "temporary" victory...and even felt like giving up and throwing in the towel at one point (but not quite to the point of death)...but I feel that we all reach this point at least one time in a life time of many experiences whether good or bad. I haven't had the desire to write or express myself because I am stuck and wallowing in my own self pity and despair, depleted of strength. Some have caused me great malice, and up until this point I've resisted to the impulses and feelings to lash out...back, against them, but a person can only take so much and I know that violence only begats violence, and ignorance, ignorance, so please...can someone, anyone...revive me, resusitate me...and just breathe life into these dry bones that have become shallow and empty with thoughts of anger, frustration, doubt, procratination and guilt...just shoot me a few words of encouragement...lift me up...I will surely pay it forward when I regain my strength and confidence...for I AM NOT a quitter....selah

~Dwayne~