Your skin is so thick
I loved it
You didn't have a flat stomach
It was something I enjoyed

I wanted to squeeze
Preferred to hold you
Longed to grab you
You were so warm, and you still are

I wanted to kiss down your body
Tasting the imperfections
Licking your flaws
And loving it in all

I did not care
You just needed to be you
Let me do the loving
And I wanted you to sit back, let your eyes roll, and exhale my name with a sense of ****** and ****** satisfaction

Twenty-nine scars
Twenty-nine lessons I have learned
Twenty-nine reasons why I am now a warrior
Instead of a worrier

I craved the blade to ride across my skin
Slicing open that first layer
To let free the blood that cried for an escape

This was my way to deal with the pain
Because I thought it was the only answer
To deal with my fear, my worries, my loneliness, and my insecurities

These scars aren't just from kissing the blade
I had another love from the plastic cuticle pusher
With a metal end
And the lighter I ignited to heat it up

I was convinced that physical pain
Could fight off emotional pain
But if seen by those I love
Then those scars from the physical pain
Would only bring them emotional pain

I am sorry

This is not wanted
I do not deserve this
No one at all deserves this

Pain I sense
Will be pain I will approach
Pain I can find
Will be pain I will fight

These are twenty-nine scars
Twenty-nine reasons why I deserve to live
Twenty-nine causes of self-love

Don't ever fall in love with a poet
because they will indeed admire and watch your every move
they will write about how the pen marks on the side of your palm when you write
don't ever because they will trace
every single freckle you have on your face and
write about the color of each and every one of them and
describe how they smile so brightly under the sunlight
they will want you to want to know every little thing about them
even if it's just what hand they write with and want you
to be wondering why they write with that specific hand when in
reality it doesn't even matter

the poet will watch the way you dig
your eyes onto that book and your small quick remarks onto the 26 letters all crumpled together and will know that everyday at 5:28 p.m. you smile

they will look deeply into your eyes
to see if they can at least take a little
peak of your soul and they will write
about you like if you were the only
thing they see good in this world

they will want to know what you think
about when you look at them and
see if you also count each and
every freckle and hope and write  
that you do but they will
love you endlessly and they will
show you that they love you and only you

but don't date a poet if you aren't
capable to watch them and
admire their imperfections
when they sleep late at night
beside you.

j.f

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

When you see her cry
     you get a rag,
a gentle delicate cloth.
                                        Lovingly grasp her hand
                                               and dab its tip;
                                       dry each tear as they come.
                                                           ­                               And ask each drop
                                                            ­                                   why it'd leave
                                                           ­                               such beautiful eyes.

  If she wishes
to be in the sky,
  tell her to go.
                              Take the sun ransom,
                              and replace its shining
                                    with her own.
                                                            ­          So you can see her every morning
                                                         ­                          and wish for her
                                                                ­                  return each night.

When you see her scars
  both visible and non-
    touch each gently.
                                             And remind her
                                       that each and every hurt
                                            she has survived,
                                                       ­                                 has only made her
                                                                ­                   that much more unique;
                                                         ­                              that much stronger.

  Show her that she
  is a special person
and is worthy of love.
                                     That she deserves the love
                                            she fears to give...
                                            show her so that
                                                            ­                     one day after you're gone
                                                            ­                      she can find the strength
                                                                ­                    to go on without you.

    Tell her that while
she might not be a goddess
far above worldly desires,
                                          that she is amazing,
                                         for just being herself
                                    for being that beautiful girl
                                                            ­                   who thinks herself damaged
                                                         ­                         when in truth she's just
                                                            ­                    a different kind of beautiful.

   And finally, love her.
  Like a boy loves a girl
Till she finally remembers
                                            that that's what she is:
                                          not a scar, not a goddess,
                                             not a star. But a girl.
                                                           ­                         That deserves to be loved.

"Love is being caring. Caring about everything that is important to them. The little things, the big things, the things that they say don’t matter, but you get that inner feeling that they do. Caring about how your actions affect them. Caring about what they want. Caring for the fragile heart that is concealed within their frame of flesh.



Love is being faithful. Faithful to your word and to your promises. People make promises without knowing the extent of what they mean. Love keeps true to those promises no matter how hard it gets. Love is being faithful to them in an emotional sense. You have no eyes for anyone else. It means being faithful in a physical sense. You do not imagine committing promiscuous acts with anyone. Not even them. 



Because Love means respect. Respect for their wishes. Respect for what they need. Respect for their body and for their mind; you strive to keep them in the best condition. You respect their boundaries, again, both physical and emotional. 



Love is honest. It strives to keep dishonesty out of the relationship, knowing that it will tear it apart from the roots. Keeping lies away from the tongue, that could **** any blossoming concoction of emotions. It realizes that the object of the affection deserves the truth in all cases. Knowing that it’s best, no matter how it hurts.



Love is serving. It does anything possible to cater to the needs of the other. It recognizes that it wants to do anything it can to better the life of the other. 



Love is selfless. It puts off its own desires and wants for the other. It shares its thoughts, life, resources, and anything it can with the other. It gives them what they want at the mere expense of what it itself wants. It does so with complete happiness. 



Because Love is humble. It realizes that it has no authority or reason to be looked up at. It realizes that credit does not need to belong to it. It realizes that pride will split the branches of the partnership; it will create strife and dispute. Two of the things it strives so hard to demolish. 



Love is being patient. Understanding that human nature is hard to deal with. Understanding that patience is key to creating a solid foundation. It realizes that rushing with leave holes and unstable foundations that will leave everything to come crashing down upon itself, causing tears and heartbreak that could easily have been prevented. 



Love is understanding. It understands all of this. Whether it chooses to follow this depends on the degree in which it occurs. It understands that a human is nothing without love. Love makes the world go round. It understands that without this, it is nothing."

-Unknown