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  Dec 2014 Brad Antonio
curlygirl
Find a Poet Not a poser, not a "it's just a hobby" poet. Find one who mumbles lines as they scramble for a pen at breakfast; who shakes their head randomly when their thoughts aren't rhyming properly;  who has notebooks stashed around the house that you must never touch.
2. Listen Savor the spoken words, for those are harder to express. Keep in mind that they can't be edited and re-written, and be forgiving when a mistake is made.
3. Read The body speaks as loudly as words on a page do. When their eyes are closed or focused on the ceiling and the fingers are tapping out syllables, recognize the unique process. Respect the need for quiet, because if you look closely, you can read the poem on their face before they write it on the page.
4. Write Write your story together. Grab hold of the pen and hang on as you move across the page of life. Sometimes you will dance across, others you will be dragged. You may have to cross out a word, or a line, or a page, but don't give up. Discouragement is a poet's biggest enemy, inarticulateness their biggest fear. So end each day with a semi-colon, because the story will never end the way you think it will, and there must be room for more. There is always room for more, more words, more laughter, more tears, more love,
When you love a poet.
  Dec 2014 Brad Antonio
Ciarra Reneé
If you want to wait, wait.
And if you don't, don't.
But don't give it up to try and keep him.
And don't wait to try and make him respect you.
You don't owe anyone anything.
  Dec 2014 Brad Antonio
Ciarra Reneé
I  am told that I apologize too frequently
And it's true, I'm sorry
I'm sorry for who I am, and
more importantly who I could be and should be but am not
If I could
I would
escape this body
This stomach
These thighs
These arms
This mind
This mouth
If I could
I would be tall and strong and proud
If I could
I would be athletic and healthy
I would enjoy running and jumping and forgetting
I would have games you could attend
And awards you could collect
And a GPA you could overlook
I would embody a daughter you could accept
If I could have a ***** I would
I would stop the disappointment before it began
I would be the mistake that was worth it
I would walk with my chin up
I would be funny and fearless
Everything that you think you are
I would be persuasive and charming
I would dribble a ball
or maybe even throw one
I would be accepting of your mistakes because it's likely I would repeat them
I wouldn't be so sensitive,
or so difficult to be around
I would be the son you have to tried so tirelessly to morph me into
If I could I would have a voice that I am unafraid to use
I would say what I want to say when I want to say it
And not worry about who hears or who cares
I would be honest and open
And not concern myself with privacy,
Tear this fleshy exterior and give my bones some air
Let my secrets and my past and my fears breathe
I would need you as much as you need me
Let you hug me and hold me and believe that everything will be alright, when it won't
If I could I would overlook all afflictions you have done and make you feel like my life has been unaffected by your mistakes
I would be strong and brass
I would be smarter and more leveled
If I could I would unravel and go unguarded to be poked and prodded
Just to  make you feel closer to me
If I could I would stop being so emotional
I would sow my tear ducts shut and hold my feelings about what you have done to me at my feet
so they never reach my tongue
If I could I would stop being so flawed
So freckled
and so fatty
So hairy
and so unhappy
So determined
and so disappointing
So opinionated
and so oppressed
If I could I would shed this skin and become the woman life and those who gave it to me want me to be
My wave of self hate comes in cycles
And today the tide is especially high
If I was sorry
For being a human being
I would
I apologize
It's okay darling, I know you're not in love with me

j.f
Brad Antonio Sep 2014
When I woke up next to you
I refused to say, "I love you,"
Because no response when you're sleeping
Is no different from when you're awake

I know you can't feel this way anymore
Not "can't" because you're holding back
You can't because you're unable to
I can't because I'm holding back

At the moment when you realize you lost something
Your stomach drops, your eyes follow
Your head pounds, and your body falls
The pain is inevitable
Brad Antonio Sep 2014
This is to the girl
Whose voice shook me
When I heard you sing Somewhere Beyond the Sea
As if you literally took my breath away
As if I was drowning
This is to the girl
Whose laugh was contagious
And It lifted my spirit
I was desperate to find a good joke
Because I craved the sounds of your chuckles

The way you spoke
When you advised me to do the right thing
It was the combination of your words
Mixed with your confidence
And how you believed in me that convinced me

This is to the girl
Whose voice I've heard
But face I've never looked at
As if you were a stranger
But I've known you longer than I realized

When you whispered, "Goodbye,"
My heart shattered
And the damage was irreparable
I had no choice
But to clean up the pieces and throw them away
Brad Antonio Aug 2014
From this point on
I just want the stars to reveal the truth
And I hope it answers your question
As to why I keep looking up at the sky every night

The strength this world can give
Is inevitable before my eyes
But I always question my beliefs
As to which direction I need to go

I need to be empowered in order to survive
And find the right people to connect with
In order to be understood
Hopefully they give as much light as the stars

I don’t need to count my tears
Or all the times I’ve been hurt
By those who clearly don’t mean anything anymore
Because black holes don’t last forever

No matter how much will be taken away
There will always be something left
And regardless of its size
With the right mind, it will grow

And that’s what we’ve been doing
For the last thousands of years
We’ve grown and improved
Now we have things that will hopefully get us through the day

I’m all about living and learning
I study the sky with or without clouds
Even with light pollution
Because only the brightest of the brightest of stars will be seen

And I will work to become one of them…
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